Take it day by day
by Raiden Amour
Summary: Roxas is haunted by his past and his present, till he meets Axel, someone who knows life's tough, but things just keep getting worse for the blond. Can Axel save him? Contains blood, abuse, cutting (self-harm), Rape, Shōnen-ai, possibly Yaoi, Suicide, and some other stuff I haven't figured out yet
1. Chapter 1: The beginning

_**It's a start, right? It took me two hours, but I wrote six pages, so enjoy**_

_**Also, YOU, READER PERSON, if you read this chapter and you're not quite sure you want to continue reading- something I often do is read the last paragraph of the first five or so chapters to see if it's interesting. **_

**_EDIT: Since I don't want to get reported and posting songs lyrics in a story is against rules~ Listen to the song 'Alone I break by Korn' on youtube while reading_  
**

Roxas sat silently in the back of the class, closest to the door, looking down to the left at where the uneven light hardwood floor and pale sea green wall sloppily met. Class would be over any second, quickly looking up at the clock he counted down from five, dashing from his seat as the teacher began to dismiss the few twenty students. He practically jumped over the stairs, holding on to the polished wood railing to pull himself back around at the first landing to swing and jump down the next set of about thirty steps. Getting on the long yellow bus as soon as he could he sat in the very front seat, across the aisle of the mostly glass door, normally he wasn't in such a hurry to return home, actually, truth be told- he wasn't going home, instead he planned on going under one of the bridges in his city town. More in truth, he never wanted to go home, he wasn't stupid or anything but he always found himself in summer school. Never failing but not wanting to be unprotected by legal systems for three months and to feed his need of having to be somewhere everyday- he doubled up, taking classes he couldn't take during his actual school year, taking three full classes- the most he could- in a day so he wouldn't get home till around four. If he went straight home that is.

Most people could tell that there was something wrong with the child- something haunting him, something not right, just because of how he dressed, looked, and acted. His hair was a dirty blonde, he didn't like the color but when he dyed his hair his ideal color, black, things just got worse- so instead he settled for styling it to his choice- spikey and messy. Cyan eyes that used to sparkle, but over the more recent years they lost their shine- he took very special notice to this, he also took notice to the fact that every time he stared into his own eyes, for as long as he could remember, he could feel the sadness they gave off, often wondering if that's why people got lost in his teal eyes, like they could see the hint of hurt but longed for a full picture. Add pale skin to that, take out the details of dead eyes, his expression of hurt he could never get rid of and he fit loosely into a majority. Though, behind his black too big hoodies and black baggy jeans his body was riddled with scars, scars that he learned to hide when he was in kindergarten and had to change in front of the other boys, he always thought that everyone was just like him but he quickly learned almost no one was. The boy was extremely lithe, his hip bones protruding, from his lack of fat and muscle, so much so that the front of his loose jeans almost didn't touch the gap between the bones. A little short for his age, having just turned sixteen, he made up for it by having strong legs that could run him from anywhere he didn't want to be, but sadly the legs didn't always like Roxas and he sometimes found himself walking back to where he told himself he would never return to again.

The city buildings covered in graffiti passed quickly by as he looked out his window in silence, while the other children didn't make fun of him or bully him- they didn't talk to him, and he didn't mind, the small teenager was considered a mute to them. They knew he could talk, but they didn't care, he rarely ever talk, when they said "Hi," Roxas would look away and pretend they didn't say anything, and after going to the new school for almost three years they learned to just not talk to him. After a few minutes he remembered the new mp3 player he found, it was probably about four years old and that's why it was just lying around, replaced like it was worthless- just like how Roxas felt, disposable, non-unique, temporary till better came along, and well… trash. Having already upload a few of his favorite songs he blared Korn Alone I break in his ears. (**_A/N scroll to the bottom for lyrics*)_**

As the song began to repeat itself, Roxas zoned out into the city people, living in a city where most people dropped out and the only thing they excelled in was drug use, gang violence, teenage pregnancy, and getting killed. He knew the last one well, too well, but Roxas quickly stopped himself from going down that road while on a bus, where his emotions could get the better of him and he could find himself embarrassed and people would actually think he cared. For the most part the child was a mystery, though a few people pieced together a little- they still knew nothing of the boy who had suffered so much pain, hurt, and anger that he could share stories with a Vietnam Solider and they would stand on equal ground. Almost thirty minutes went by, various songs played, and finally the child could get off the bus, the bus never went down his road, it never took him that long to walk- it was a quarter mile, but he was thankful for that, because the driver never took note if he made it home or not. Walking the home direction he waited for the bus to drive off, once it did, he took a sharp ninety degree right turn and cut through the small alley ways and squeezed between buildings.

Jumping over the railing, sliding down the grass, he was standing under the bridge where water once was, but for some reason was no longer flowing through. Looking around, the sign was clear, pulling out a spray can he started his new art. Everyone was away doing business in doors, the kids playing in the streets filled the city during the day, at night though- no one was ever out, except tonight Roxas found himself caught outside. Looking up at his work he was proud, it had taken him a good five hours but it was done and he was proud- for the time being. As he started to walk back he cursed himself for being so stupid, keeping his head down, his hood pulled up, he had to try to seem invisible, hiding his skin so no one could tell if he was White, Black, Hispanic, Italian, or Latino- that could get him killed right off the bat. Hearing people shuffle in the streets behind him he resisted the urge to look, he had to be oblivious, his pace quickened- bad move.

Instantly the boy was grabbed by the back of his neck, dragged and thrown into a brick wall. The street light not reaching that far into the alleyway, he couldn't see anyone's face, though he also was smart enough not to try and look. Feeling a gun get pressed to his back he knew that they just wanted his money, they started to pat him down, pulling out a knife that he got for protection but it did no good in his situation- damn thing, his sheriff's id so if he ever got killed or arrested or kidnapped people would know his name and he wouldn't be a John Doe. Though he didn't want the current people to know his name, it was too late for that though, he heard the man give a chuckle. Taking a sharp breath, Roxas was caught off guard when they pulled off his hood and he was kicked in the back of the knees, causing him to fall into the wall for even more support. They must have been mad because Roxas was broke and had only a knife, and a bag full of empty spray cans, the man grabbed his hand to look at his fingers, seeing the spray splattered on his fingers from where the cans got clogged and back fired, "Shit!" He was going to think the boy was in a gang or something, that he was marking up the streets with his gang insignia, "I don't belong to any gang," Roxas murmured, he seemed no longer threatened but instead he could feel his look turn sadistic, like he got a new idea. Handing his bag back to the boy he pulled him up, needing only one hand to do so for the boy was so light and the man clearly wasn't weak, Roxas felt the strangeness of his bag, knowing that the spray cans were no longer inside he opened his bag, looking inside he found a bunch of money, "Shit!" He cursed himself again. They were hiring him, trying to tell them that he didn't want to- he wanted nothing to do with them he thrust the bag into the man with the gun, trying to give it back, but the man only laughed, walking away while his head shook. Roxas was officially hired to do whatever the man said, the boy stood in the alley way for about an hour before he decided there wasn't anything he could do about it but keep the money they gave to him to help him with their tasks, pay him for his service, and most importantly to keep his mouth shut.

Stumbling home Roxas pulled his key out and opened the door quietly, knowing that Cloud was probably already sleeping, he tried to stay quiet, "Where have you been?" Maybe Cloud wasn't sleeping, Roxas looked over to find him sitting in his chair, looking over at the boy like he was concerned, but Roxas knew he wasn't- no one was and no one ever would be. Mumbling his apologies he hurried to his room, locking the door behind him he sat on his bed, stuffing the bag under his mattress on the floor, trying not to freak out the boy walked over to his window, reaching under the sill to grab hold of a razor, he tried to tell himself that what just happened wasn't all that big a deal, that nothing really did happen. But in truth, he had been dragged into an alley, thrown into a wall, held at gun point, would be robbed if he had anything worth stealing, and now was working for a gang banger. "Fuck!" he thought, quickly throwing his hoodie off and throwing it against the wall behind him, pulling off his long sleeve shirt he held his wrist out in front of him and pushed the blade. Dragging the silver blade across his scared arm, the scars were nothing new- the fact that they were self-inflicted was, but he needed the blood, he needed to feel it pool to fill the deep wound, and when it became too full to vomit out the crimson bliss to drip down his arm like tears.

Running into the bathroom to make sure he dripped blood on nothing, he finally looked at himself in the mirror, his lip was cut open, blood oozed down his chin- funny how he didn't even notice it, was he really so numb that he could only feel pain he saw? Pressing toilet paper on the wound he took deep breaths, hearing a knock on the door he stood to answer it, no need for a shirt, just hide the arm behind the door, Cloud never asked to come in, "Are you okay?" "Yeah," he started, he waited for Roxas to continue, which he slowly did, "I just got jumped is all…" "Did anything else happen?" Roxas shook his head, starting to close the door slowly to signal he didn't want to talk to Cloud, he took the hint, nodded his head and walked back to his own room. Cloud wasn't a bad man or anything, but he meant very little to the boy, mostly because the boy thought he meant nothing to Cloud. Cloud had a happy life when he met Roxas, his life was so happy that Roxas wanted to be a part of it and with Cloud as his appointed therapist while he was in the system, he and his wife took the boy in. Roxas couldn't bear to say her name aloud, couldn't bear to hear it, neither could Cloud, the blond man looked like he could be Roxas' older brother, maybe even his father, his eyes more a blue tone though, but dead just like his. Tifa… his wife, on the other hand, had straight silky smooth long black hair and shinning brown eyes, when they lost her it sent both of them over the edge. Cloud couldn't focus on work anymore and no longer could hold any job, while Roxas turned to cutting- Tifa had been the only one really that he saw as a parent, Tifa was like his mother and Cloud was just like a step dad, which made their relationship now strange and distant.

Leaving behind the home Cloud and Tifa created and loved in, seemed like so much since to the widower, but they ended up having nowhere to go and the short life of Roxas went downhill even more. Life was just something that happened for both of them, they no longer cared or bothered trying, Roxas lay on his bed that sat on the floor, the rest broke but with no job they had no money, the boy didn't mind though.

Waking up a few minutes before he would normally get up the blond walked out to get food, having not eaten anything the day before his stomach yelled at him, it also told him to chug the water he pulled from the faucet, though he knew it was full of sulfur, tasted bad, and if he drank too much- could kill him. Cloud slept in till the afternoon on most days, never getting out of bed or leaving his room, he drank all the time and sometimes when things got really bad Cloud would lose his self-control and push and punch Roxas, but the child didn't mind, he had worse and without the begging for forgiveness after that he got from the man. Heading off to the end of the road, Roxas waited for the bus, it was quiet for the morning; no birds, no kids awake, nobody outside- these were all bad signs. A car pulled up beside Roxas, he tried to ignore them, but he found it harder and harder to do the longer they stayed sitting beside him, finally looking over, his heart began to pulse faster. It was his father, his biological father, someone he hated to see but often times saw- and when he saw said man, it always ended in him bruised and sometimes broken. "Get in the car," the voice was deep, pretending to have headphones in Roxas acted like he didn't hear, not averting his eyes like he would normally do, instead he slowly eased his head to look straight again. "What did I say? Get in the car," Roxas pushed his shaking hands into his pockets, his father lived in town and sometimes when he was tripping on drugs and drunk out of his mind he would try to bring Roxas back to his house. His father hated the idea that he lost Roxas, not that he loved the boy, but the man just hated losing. Honking the horn, Roxas finally looked at him, and the man repeated what he was saying before, the boy looked even smaller when his father stomped around the car and yelled in his face.

Still he didn't listen, but he spoke back, "I have summer school," was his only excuse, one thing he couldn't stand about Cloud was that Cloud never protected Roxas, his father had come to their house and just simply walked in and beat the crap out of Roxas, dragging him back with him, and Cloud didn't say anything, never did, though Cloud wasn't there at that moment. Feeling someone grab on to his hair made the boy let out a yelp, fighting with his father now in the middle of the street, his father trying to drag him into the car where he had the windows locked up and child lock on the doors, once Roxas would be forced in he wouldn't be able to get out. Normally when his father came and dragged him off, it was so he could sell his son for drugs, giving the frail boy over to drug dealers for the night, Roxas knew his father did not only hate him, but he was disgusted by the boy and did everything he could to hurt him, "Hey!" A shout came from the other street, and in a few seconds a man was running towards them, Roxas instantly noticed his ruby red spiky hair and green eyes, he noticed the eyes the most when the man ripped the father off the boy and helped the boy up. Quickly looking down he tried to hide his face, feeling the swelling in his cheek, he watched as his father drove off, "You okay?" Roxas looked at the man's chest, straight ahead; he had to be a foot taller than the small boy, "Thanks," he mumbled and turned around, waiting for the bus to come so he could get far away from all of it. "Hey… I asked if you were okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," when he placed his hand on the turned around boy's shoulder the small body jumped. Finally the bus pulled up and Roxas quickly got on, not trying to be rude to the man who saved him from the pain he would've endured from his father, though in hindsight- maybe the man caused more pain by his actions… though he would give the small boy the most happiest times of his life, Roxas would suffer because of the now stranger.

Once the day was over yet again and Roxas stood on his street walking down the road full of children playing, he sat on his porch, but he could only stand it for a few minutes before he felt like he was going to go insane. While in school he cut himself using a screw he found, taken back by the morning he found it hard to concentrate, he found the razor in his room; grabbing it he turned and ran to the bridge. It had become his safe haven because no one ever went there and his own art that expressed what he couldn't into words surrounded him.

A few hours past, he had stomped around, trying to think things through, asking himself over and over: Why am I so fucked up? Pulling his sleeve up he pushed the blade against his skin, but the blood didn't flow fast enough, he cut himself again, harder, deeper, they started bleeding at the same time, he spread the blood over his palm and put hand prints on the walls. Hearing something strange above him, Roxas climbed up, a car had broken down on his bridge, instantly he thought of the troll and bridge, he laughed to himself and hid back underneath, "Hello?" Roxas knew that voice, it was the red head from that morning, and Roxas thought about when he laughed, he must have given away his position to the man. "I thought it was you," walking over to Roxas he looked down at him, Roxas had made himself comfy against the wall and ground, sitting down, "I wanted to ask you, are you okay, you know, after this morning?" Signaling to his face Roxas knew that he had a bunch of bruises and cuts, not all from his father though. Roxas nodded, he was fine, now, now that he had bled out. "Good," the man knew that Roxas was not okay, but he also knew that the little blond was different, something the boy did caught the red heads attention and he was intrigued by the small one, wanting to know him and wanting to know everything about him, everything. Shaking his head slightly he cleared that thought, normally he fucking hated people, couldn't stand them, hated how they always had to share their feelings, hated how they always complained, hated how they were all so selfish, he was always in fights because of his many hates. "Alright then," he spoke, then walked back up to his car, this new feeling he had would best be fixed if he didn't bother with the obviously damaged blond.

A woman started yelling, Axel looked over to find a man stomping out of a house, obviously drunk, while a women chased after him, putting down a young child to do so. Roxas also heard the pleading and begging of the woman, climbing up from his little hide out he watched, both Roxas and Axel quickly noticed that the man was drunk and about do to something stupid. But neither stepped in till the man hit his wife, Roxas quickly ran over to the girl, she was only maybe nineteen, helping her up he watched the man as he continued to yell, Axel stood back and watched, though he could hear none of the words being said, he noticed the younger boy wasn't saying much. When he did though, Axel was able to read his lips clearly, "If you have to hit someone, hit me, you wanna shoot someone, shot me." Taken back by this, unsure if he was reading the lips right, Axel shook his head, in fact- Roxas had said just that, he knew the man was drunk and angry and the second he turned on his wife/girlfriend, Roxas offered himself up instead, after all- he had taken it before and pain didn't bother him at all. The man froze for a second, thinking it through, he began yelling again and when he rose his hand to shoot the boy in the face Axel's foot came down on the man's arm, knocking the gun out of his hand and causing the drunk to fall forward from his distorted balance. In a few short movements, he knocked the man out, Axel felt the strange need to help the child and for a few seconds he told himself he would gladly do anything the child said, but he shook himself out of it. Helping the women back to the house to grab her small child Roxas told her it would be okay, everything always is, she seemed comforted by these words, Axel saw the smile on the boy's face as the redhead dragged the drunken man into the house and threw him on the couch, and although Axel didn't know the boy he knew that it was a fake smile. Axel felt disappointed, he thought for a moment how he would love to see a real smile on the small ones face, quickly shaking the thoughts out of his head he stepped outside and found people had finally arrived to fix his car.

Roxas stayed on the steps, talking to the women, giving her advice though most the time he was just listening, she would get a sad look on her face and with a few words from Roxas her eyes would light up, but Axel saw as the boy's never did. Finally his ride was fixed but he didn't leave in a hurry, he waited till the boy finished talking with the woman, and when he began walking home he called out to him, "Hey, kid, want a ride?" The kid stopped in his tracks, the man seemed different to him, not different bad but different good, someone better than other people, he shook his head no, he didn't want to bother the man, but when the man pulled up in his car, "I'll give you a ride, hop in," Axel realized that he probably sounded like the man that morning who had tried to drag the small boy into his car, instantly feeling sick about it all, but to his surprise the boy stopped walking, reaching his hand up to scratch his blond hair Axel noticed the dried blood on his hand and wrist, becoming even more enticed by the strange boy. He didn't say anything but waited for the boy to get in, he sat nervously in the car, Axel turned onto the street he knew the boy lived on, and slowly drove down the road, after a minute or so Roxas pointed to a house, his house, spoke his thanks and got out. Axel strangely felt proud, though there was really no reason to be, he hadn't gotten in a fight at all that day due to the little blond on his mind, he helped a small woman, found a new interest in his life, he found someone he wanted to learn about, to talk to, to be around, but most importantly he found the one thing that could pull him out of the gutter and set him right again, when the door closed to the house Axel slammed his forehead into his palm, "Fuck! I forgot to ask him his name."

_**Tell me what you think? yes, no? **_

_**Any who, here's some lyrics to "Alone I Break" by Korn:**_

_**I will make it go away  
Can't be here no more  
Seems this is the only way  
I will soon be gone  
These feelings will be gone  
These feelings will be gone**_

Now I see the times they change  
Leaving doesn't seem so strange  
I am hoping I can find  
Where to leave my hurt behind  
All the shit I seem to take  
All alone I seem to break  
I have lived the best I can  
Does this make me not a man?

Shut me off  
I'm ready, heart stops  
I stand alone  
Can't be my own


	2. Chapter 2: Roxy

Not knowing how to think of the red head, Roxas stayed silent most of the time, and when he reached home, mumbled his thanks and quickly got out; sliding his key into the bolt lock he pushed the door open, shutting it and locking the door behind him. On his way to his room he noticed that the man was still sitting there, but, before he could start to panic the car pulled away, locking himself in his room he thought for a few seconds about the man, he wasn't rude like most people he knew and he didn't seem to belong to any gangs. On the last word Roxas' heart sank, he forgot all about the money, slowly, he crept out his window, not that Cloud would tell him he couldn't leave, but Cloud would ask questions, and also the boy was afraid the red head might still be out there. Thinking for a small moment he wondered if maybe the red head was the one he was supposed to connect with, but the thought slipped his mind as he almost tripped, the red head had him falling, he laughed to himself before feeling like a fool for thinking that. Driving around Axel finally found somewhere he wanted to go, a bar, to clear his mind, though his mind was already pretty clear- that was new for him, he didn't know it but it was the effect the child had on him. Axel wasn't twenty-one yet, he was barely twenty, but no one bothered to ask because he had always hung out in bars since he was a child. His mother was always there, and when she left him there he knew to stay for a few hours till she returned, now he knew that his mom was a prostitute but that didn't sully the thoughts he already had about her. In fact it raised them some; knowing that the cold hearted women was actually capable of love. Pulling into the parking lot he stepped out of the low setting car, stalking towards the unguarded entrance, and once inside he took a booth in the far back, drinking as much as he could and speaking his mind clearly for everyone to hear.

After a few drinks and a bad tempered man, Axel was sitting over a man, straddling his waist- digging his knees into the man side- punching the man repeatedly in the face, causing the once cocky man to spew blood. Letting himself get the shit beat out of him, Axel had a bruised and slit lip, it was no fun unless he gave the other man a chance, and it took three men to pull a drunken Axel off the poor man. Though in truth he deserved it and Axel wouldn't mind if he actually killed the man, no one really would it seemed, throwing Axel out, he climbed into his car, cursing the entire way about how what he had done wasn't wrong. Starting his car he stormed off, not knowing where he was going to go, he didn't have a home, everything he owned was in his car, most times he slept at bars but he just ruined his chance at that tonight, he ruined his plans about five times a week. It was like it was a job to the red head, try not to start any fights and try not to deliver a can of whoop ass on some douche bag.

His childhood was to blame for how he acted, at least that's how the legal system and court saw it, he had grown up on the streets with no father and a whore for a mother. They were homeless most the time and Axel used his strength to get what he wanted, though he was never stronger than the few men that stayed around a little longer, at first they would try to buy him off. Giving him money and toys and such, but the boy was already cold before they came along, he wanted a father figure and he needed one- but they weren't the type to look up too and he died a little when he realized that everyone was a liar. After they caught his drift they stopped caring too, beating him- his mother told him it was just them disciplining him- that every father beat their son with a belt to show him how to act. Axel just acted out more though; he couldn't hurt them physically so he settled for pissing them off and making them feel like idiots. It worked for a little while till his mom got sick, in those last few months she managed to bring him out of his numb state at fifteen, she got him off drugs and added up to be a real parent to him, though she sat the entire time in a hospital bed. Dying from a disease he didn't understand, he tried to hate her more for what she did, letting him think that she cared and maybe she actually did care, but she woke him up from his slumber only to die on him and wretch his heart from his grasps.

At first the young boy was so depressed he was out of it on drugs for almost an entire year, he was only fifteen and he did things he wasn't proud of at all- just so he could get a fix and be out of it. That was the start that led him to the place he was today, having nowhere to go, the only friends he had were drug dealers- only the most respected and toughest dealt with him. He hadn't used drugs all the much recently though, having no job and getting sick of the normal way he paid for it all, he couldn't get anything. After a few minutes he was calm and he found himself on Roxas' street, why he brought himself to that place he didn't know, but he was glad he did, he sat under the street light where the boy would wait for a bus in the morning and slept.

When Roxas woke up he found that he forgot to change out of his clothes- he didn't actually forget but was too tired to do anything about it. Stumbling out of bed his stomach growled at him again, but he ignored it, walking into the bathroom, he felt a breeze on his neck, "A breeze?" Roxas thought, "Why is there a breeze… unless…" walking back into his room, his shirt and hoodie off, the blood now washed off his wounded arm, a gasp escaped his lips when he found his face planted into the wall quickly, "Hello, Roxas," he didn't know the voice, and he shouldn't- yet, but the voice would hurt him and be the main problem for the next year. The hand let go of his shoulder and he took the chance to turn around, his back pressed against the wall, the features didn't resemble anyone to him, but his shape and outline told him that it was the man from the alley way. "Take your money back…" He whispered, falling to his knees to grab the bag out from under his bed, he pulled it out and tried to hand it to the man but he only laughed and shook his head no.

"No refunds allowed," His fake soft voice wasn't convincing at all, the man saw potential and he wasn't going to let the boy back out of it, "I need you to take this bag, here," he tossed the bag at the boy, the man wasn't as sick as most people he knew, but seeing the thin innocent boy kneeling by the bed got is blood running, walking a little closer he licked his lips and handed the paper with the location on it to him. It was in the next town over; the money would help him get there. The child shook his head, "I can't," he was cut off when he heard Cloud speaking, "Roxas! Roxas," he called out, voice slurred and in a tone like he was begging, he was drunk and probably remembered that the only women he had in the world since he was a child was no longer with him. Roxas didn't answer but the man in front of him laughed silently, "It's got to be there in two hours," unlocking the door, he would walk out of the house through doors instead of climbing through the window like how he got in, "Wait! I can't do that, I have school," Roxas knew that the man wouldn't care, but it would help his case, maybe the man would think he was stupid or something. "Oh, I know, Roxas, you see, I know all about you, and I know for a fact that you're only there to not be here," he walked out the door without a question from Cloud. "Fuck," Roxas looked in the bag, it was heroin, he would be trading drugs, looking around he thought for a few seconds, running into the bathroom he made a small cut on his arm, wrapping the blade in toilet paper and placing it in his back pocket, along with his sheriff's id, one to keep him calm and the other to let people know who he is when he gets killed. Sliding a black wife beater on before he put his arms through the sleeves of his hoodie he was about to zip it up like usual but remembered Cloud.

Walking out he noticed Cloud lying on the kitchen floor, he couldn't even make it to his room before he opened the alcohol, Roxas shook his head, and setting the bag on the couch he pulled Cloud to his feet. The older man mumbling angry words the entire time, digging his nails into Roxas' shoulder, the smaller one feeling the blood from the nails breaking through his shirt and hoodie, lying Cloud down the man went to grab Roxas' face but instead only clawed him, Roxas felt the sting but didn't bother to look at his face. "Hell," Roxas thought, "Some battle wounds might make the drug dealers not wanna fuck with me," or they would think he was a threat and kill him, he hoped not. Grabbing the bag, with a key, razor, id, and a few twenties in his pockets he left. There was a car at the end of the street that alone frightened the boy a bit, he kept walking towards it though, he had to go that way to get into town, and if he ran he could make it there for free and would have the extra money. He knew the car, it was the one he rode in the night before, he didn't get to close till he noticed the man was sleeping, passed out, his mouth open and Roxas could smell the cotton mouth, knowing the man was drinking the night before. Leaving before the man could wake up, he made his way for the new job he didn't want.

Axel woke up when he heard a bus pulling up, wanting to be awake so he could talk to the kid for a minute, he was shocked to see that the kid wasn't there, the kid didn't seem like the type to skip and the red head wouldn't admit it at the time but it worried him. Waving to the bus driver he turned the car around and went to the boy's home, he didn't know what he was going to ask but it didn't feel right to him to just leave everything, knocking he heard no one moving. He heard someone mumbling, he spoke instead of knocking, "Hello?" Finally the door opened, "How can I help you," Axel saw how the man looked like he was going to be sick, he also had a guilty look on his face, "There's a kid that lives here… He wasn't out to get on the bus this morning, is he alright?" in Axel's mind he thought he sounded like a creeper or something, "I helped him yesterday when some man attacked him- just wanting to check up," he added. Cloud seemed lost in his own thoughts though, and he was, "Oh… he must be mad at me," he walked into the house and Axel followed him in, keeping his distance, "Roxas?" Cloud called, that must have been the boy's name, Axel liked it, he said it just so he could feel it roll of his tongue.

Cloud started mumbling things, walking into the kitchen he pulled out finger nail clippers and quickly cut off his nails, getting skin and causing his fingers to bleed in the process, "Hey, man, you okay?" Axel could tell that he had walked into something, grabbing a bottle of a light brown liquid the man began to speak, "He's mad at me, I… I didn't mean to," he started, instantly worrying Axel, who stepped closer to the man, "What'd you do?" he saw the blood that soaked his hand, "I-I… I didn't mean to- I clawed his face, he...he," he continued on but Axel stopped listening, running into the room that was the boys, that was Roxas', looking to see if the boy bled or anything, finding nothing in the room but another door, he entered. Looking into the trash he saw wadded up toilet paper covered in blood, Axel had no idea why but he felt like he had to go looking for the strange kid, he ran out, leaving the man he thought was Roxas' father wallowing in the kitchen. Little did he know that Roxas' feet could carry the small boy very far in a very short distance.

Running, Roxas tried to get there early, something he always heard as a child was, "You're on time if you're five minutes early and you're late if you're on time," he was an hour early, siting across the alley at a small coffee shop he waited, watching to see if anyone would walk inside. The time came and he saw no one enter, slowly he approached, making sure his hands were at the ready in case he had to fight, rounding the corner he saw a door with three men standing outside, that could've been why he never saw anyone enter, "What's your name?" the blue haired man asked, he slowed his pace and stayed a reasonable distance away, "Roxas…" the men smiled around their cigarettes, waving for Roxas to follow one of them men inside, the hallway was dark but bright enough for him to see the man in front of him, though he didn't feel safe with the two men behind him. It was a warehouse, two brown couches sat perpendicular to each other, large pillars stood and Roxas was afraid that someone would pop out from behind one, the man motioned for him to sit down but he didn't, he averted his gaze, he knew how it worked and he knew he wasn't supposed to sit.

One of the younger man motioned for Roxas to hand over the bag, and he slowly did, when they looked inside they smiled and passed the bag, then Roxas was asked a strange question, one he wasn't entirely prepared for, "Come sit, have you ever had this?" shaking his head to what he was told and to the question, the man only smiled, "Come sit," he repeated, this time though, Roxas listened, sitting in the spot he was cornered into, the boss man sitting on one cushion while another sat on the third, leaving Roxas in between them to have the second cushion. When he got closer he took into full stock the 'X' shaped scar that covered the man's face. "Wanna try some?" Quickly shaking his head the man only laughed again, "Come on, I'm sure you'll love it," instead of disagreeing again, Roxas knew better and gave a reason, "I don't have any money…" He lied, the man knew he was lying too, but it didn't ruin his good mood, "It's on the house," Sitting in silence Roxas acted like he was thinking it over, considering it, and truth was- he actually was, he heard of what heroin did to people and he wouldn't mind testing it out, what better way to do it with people who were experts?

"I can't…" he whispered, but his words fell on deft ears, the man behind him pulled off his hoodie, one of the few times that Roxas didn't zip it- at that moment he regretted it. The man shook his head, a smile still on his lips though, Roxas only had on a black wife beater, his scarred arms showing, along with his new and old self-inflicted wounds. "Even this is healthier than that," he nodded towards Roxas' cut wrists, though he was doing everything he could to try and hide them, the man already saw, he leaned forward, grabbing the top side of Roxas' wrist gently to turn it over, Roxas leaned away slightly but was afraid to do anything more. Leaning closer, the man's other hand took Roxas' chin in his hand and turned his face, "Who beat you up?" Roxas wasn't used to be asked questions- he also wasn't used to a druggie being so concerned in his life, going to stand up Roxas muttered that he better be going but the man only pulled him back down to the couch, suddenly both men were a lot closer to him, the hair on his neck started to stand up. The man pressed his thumb over one of his wounds, it didn't hurt at first, it actually made him calm down, like it was supposed to do, and the man knew that, he also knew that Roxas really did want the drugs but just wouldn't admit it or act like he wanted them.

Before Roxas could get words out of his mouth he found one of the men tying a tourniquet around his upper arm, moving his shirt a little they noticed the marks from where Cloud dug his nails into him. "I really can't," he started but the man cut him off, "You're going to do it because you know you want to," Roxas went to further protest but he was cut off when the needle punctured into a vein. Nothing happened first and Roxas tried to get everything together before the drugs kicked in, he had to walk as fast as he could home, had to calm down, stay awake, not get killed, and he had to pretend that he hated it. None of those things happened though, as soon as the drug started running through his system his eyes closed halfway, becoming glazed over instantly, he heard the other man laughing and he tried to hide his face as he smiled along with them. His head lolled down as he stared off into things that weren't really there, he felt the need to feel texture, he found his hand on his knee, in small movements he dragged his nails across his pants like he had an itch there and was scratching it in slow motion. Soon everything became a blur and Roxas just couldn't give a shit.

Later Roxas would find out that he actually tried to hurt himself more while under the drugs, placing his fingernails in his wounds on his wrist he tried to drag them open more, he wanted to feel, but the man stopped him, the man also stopped him when Roxas brought his hand up to his face to rip the claw marks on his cheek. The man became sadistically attached to the kid, he couldn't stop touching the kid, though it was nothing sexual, he wasn't tripping on the drugs for the simple fact he wanted to watch Roxas, he tried to get in Roxas pants but every time he even got close to the waist band the boy would start shaking. He wouldn't flat out rape the kid, at least not yet, he was curious though as to why the boy continuously flinched- only some fucked up shit could do that to a kid tripping on heroin. When Roxas was fully awake and functioning again, now over all the side effects of the drugs, he began to leave, finding a small flip phone in his hoodie pocket, he took it out and the man just smiled at him and walked away, the phone was Roxas' for the man to have a way to get ahold of him. The man knew Roxas would need him soon but would rather deal with the die effects than admitting he wanted- no, needed more, and after the boy got to the end of the block the man decided that the frail kid was his new special project.

Roxas' head hurt, he felt like he was going to be sick again, he felt groggy like there was a fog in his mind, he felt pain in his arm and cheek, he felt a lot of things, he made it almost two blocks before his pace slowed to that of a snails, he couldn't push himself anymore. His palms were sweaty though he was felt freezing, zipping his hoodie up to try and keep warmer, he felt a strange vibration, it was his phone, he pulled it out quickly, a restricted phone call, he answered anyway, not saying anything. "Roxas, when you see him again, tell him Saïx claims." And with that he hung up, "Saïx claims… claims what?" he spoke to himself, he felt out of breath from walking the short distance, and right then a car pulled up. Looking over slowly he saw it was the red head, he pulled over to talk to him, still driving slowly, "Hey, wanna ride?" Roxas didn't need to be asked twice this time, he quickly walked around and got in, slouching in the seat, his hood pulled up to hopefully cover his bloody cheek- he rested his head against the door, the lock nob sticking uncomfortably into his temple. Lessening the pressure he brought one of his shaking hands up and rested his head on his fist, "Thanks," he mumbled, still not knowing the man, Axel assumed his mood was because of the fight he had with the man Axel thought was Roxas' father. "Where you wanna go?" He asked quietly, turning left at the four corners, heading in the general direction of the kids house, when he didn't get an answer he looked over, the kid was passed out, he laughed, he could tell the kid probably didn't want to go home, so he drove around, and after about an hour he found a bench under a tree, pulled the car up to park in front of it. He sat on the bench comfortably, waiting for the kid to wake up, he had rolled the windows down and he could see Roxas clearly with no window in the way, the kid looked so many things it distracted Axel in thought for a very long time. The boy looked hurt, yet innocent, yet rebellious, yet loving, he stopped trying to name the face and he saw instead watched as it occasionally twitched as if a bad thought crossed his mind, he was intrigued by every tweak and rest of Roxas' muscles. It was strange that Axel felt that way, he never really thought about anything like he did the kid. Axel closed his eyes and tipped his head back, resting for what he thought were a few minutes but was really almost half an hour.

Hearing the car door open and close and the bench further settle next to him, Axel opened his eyes to see the kid looking off and sitting next to him, he was biting his lip, then mumbled "Sorry," Axel only smiled, it was weird that the kid had that kind of effect on him, "You hungry?" Before Roxas could answer the man's question with "No," his stomach growled, so he nodded his head. After a not very long car ride they found themselves at a breakfast joint, though it was afternoon by that time, Roxas loved the idea of eating breakfast though he was a bit nauseas from the drugs. Axel didn't order anything but kept offering things for the kid to eat, when the waiter came by Roxas felt bad because she looked terrified, he remember his face and quickly looked down to hide it from her. Axel told the waiter that the kid wanted toast, pancakes, and water, Roxas couldn't speak up to tell him "No, I'm really not that hungry," once the waiter was off he looked around for a bathroom, Axel helped him out by pointing to it, he nodded his thanks and headed for it. Looking into the mirror Roxas felt sick, he looked sick, the three scratches on his face had bled to drip down his face, making his face look like a red and white map, and the cuts were deeper than he thought- quickly he washed it off and had to settle for the long scabs that laid on his cheeks, it wouldn't scar all that bad, but he would have a mark for a few months.

Roxas slowly walked out, afraid that the man might have left, though he didn't know why he cared, he put his hands in his pockets and felt the razor there, he had forgotten all about it, he quickly pulled his hands back out, "How you doin'?" The man asked, Roxas gave him a questioning look, "I uh, went to check up on you this morning after yesterday and found your father freaking out and panicking because he did that to your face." At first Roxas was confused, "Oh," he slowly and quietly said, "That's not my father… That was Cloud," he didn't know why he felt the need to tell him that, Axel had the same "oh" reaction as Roxas, "Well, I'm Axel," he began to add more, but the waiter came by with food, and placed it all in front of Roxas. Roxas eyes got wide, he'd never seen so much food in front of himself, looking up at the man, Axel, he actually thought a boy like Roxas could fit all that in him, the food practically weighted more than the boy, "This really isn't all for me is it?" Roxas quietly asked, Axel smiled, "Sure it is, why?" Blinking a few times Roxas spoke more, he never spoke this much but found it strangely easy, "I don't think I can eat all this…" Axel laughed, "It's not that big a deal," he shrugged; they sat in silence while Roxas ate a piece of toast and Axel drank the drink.  
"My names Roxas…" he whispered, talking around the small ripped off piece of toast he held in front of his mouth before he plopped it behind his teeth and ate it, "Roxas…" Axel replied, saying the name again. As they finished Axel insisted that he pay and as they were on their way out Roxas noticed a man walking in, he kept his head low and tried to go unseen, but that didn't work and he found a hand clamping tightly on his upper arm. Spinning around quickly, he froze, looking into his father's eyes, his father looked like shit, skinnier than Roxas, with his eyes sunken in, "Roxas, I've been looking all over for you," he kept going but he wasn't listening, Roxas only picked up on key words while he tried to wrestle his arm free. His father was unknowingly strong and didn't even take his eyes off Roxas' while he held tight to his hand, Axel hadn't even noticed that the boy was no longer following him to the car, he turned around to see the man from the street holding the boy off the ground by his arm like he weighed nothing, while the boy fought with his hand. Some words that clicked in Roxas' mind when his father started talking were, "Drugs, haven't seen you in a while, I'm in debt, think you could- come over, talk to them, spend the night, do some stuff," and just like that he was back on the ground and Axel was standing in front of him. "Listen man, you need to back off," Axel pointed at him, but the man didn't even notice, he looked crazy the way he was so transfixed on Roxas, he shoved Axel aside like he was nothing and grabbed Roxas by the hair again, dragging him like an irresponsible child drags a kitten or dog, painfully and lost in their own thought.

"Fuck, man, what do you think you're doing?" Axel was in front of the man and pried the panicking Roxas out of his hand, that didn't make the father all that happy; he stared at Axel and brought his fist up quick to punch him hard in the cheek. Feeling like he was six and a boxing champ just clocked him, Axel's vision blurred for a moment, he'd never been hit that hard before- even when he was six, quickly getting back his composure Axel found Roxas being put on the man's shoulder while he carried him towards a car, the boy kicking and trying to push the man away. Yanking the man around, Axel punched him square in the face, he was like a timid giant- as soon as he got punch he dropped the terrified boy who scrambled back to hide behind Axel while still on the ground, and was lost in his own world for a second, and looking up at Axel he looked like he wanted to kill the red head. "Dad, leave… now…" Roxas finally spoke and Axel was taken aback by his words, was this man really his father? Roxas knew his father wasn't this stupid, self-concerned, or immature unless he was coming down off a high and he needed another fix, his father really was smart but drugs ruined his mind. A few more words from Roxas and his father practically crying, he left and Roxas felt the need to cut, he tried to run off, made his way into the alleys but Axel was already after him.

Watching the man leave Axel turned to find the boy running, he remembered the blood he found on the boy's hand, "Could this kid really be hurting himself?" Axel didn't want to take a chance, he ran after the blond, grabbing ahold of his arm, but the kid didn't stop, instead he just pulled his arms in various directions to try and get him off. Roxas had the ends of his sleeves balled up in his fists, his fingertips barely showing, he was squeezing the sweatshirt so tight to stop himself from breaking. His father just tried to drag him away to sell him for drugs again, again! He couldn't deal with it, he had to bleed out his emotions, he would rather bleed than cry, but Axel wouldn't let him, Axel knew when he saw the boy's hurt face that he wanted to hurt himself. Roxas felt tears start to weld up in his eyes, his father didn't scare him but the people his father gave him away to and what they did to him, did, he needed to hurry up and cut or he would start crying. "Roxy, just calm down, look at me, look," Axel struggled to get a grip on both of the boy's upper arms, "I have to go, I'm sorry, Axel," he stammered out, trying to wiggle free, once Axel saw the tears weld up in the frail boy's eyes he gently pinned Roxas against the walls by his hands, "Look at me," he spoke again. The blond looked everywhere but in the man's eyes, he was sniffling now, trying not to cry, trying not to be so weak- but that only upset him more.

"Hey, shh, it's fine," Axel tried to coo when the frail boy tipped his head down and began silently crying, Roxas was all worked up about what almost happen, and he knew that it was only a matter of time before it actually did. Roxas' knees gave out and he slumped to the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest to bury his face in his knees, Axel was quickly on the ground next to him, wrapping his arms around the boy like a giant comfy red blanket, he patted the boy's back trying to get him to calm down. When the boy finally stopped crying it was only because he fell asleep, the drugs and the food and the drama was too much for a day and Roxas let sleep take him. Axel carried the light boy back to his car, setting him in the passenger seat he started if the boy's home. The boy woke up when they were almost there, he was scared at first, till he saw that it was Axel driving, "I'm sorry…" Roxas muttered, he felt like a selfish and childish brat, "Roxy, you didn't do anythin' to be sorry about," Axel whispered back, looking over at the boy, "Roxy?" Roxas asked, he'd never heard anyone call him that, Axel didn't even notice he was calling him that, he almost blushed a little, "Oh, yeah…" He mumbled back, Roxas smiled as he wiped the dried tears from his eyes "I like it…"

**_Kay, so how do you like it? I've never really written in third person before and I'm finding it kind of hard to get the emotion across of the characters:/ well…. Tell me what you think?_**


	3. Chapter 3: Ignore

Roxas leaned against Axel's car, it had been almost two weeks since he first met the red head and since then he saw the man every day, waiting with the blond boy for the bus and meeting him in the afternoon to spend the rest of the sun's light together. Sometimes when he got a call or text, Roxas would have to make an excuse- though he hated lying, hated having to work for druggies, and hated having to leave Axel- about every three days he would go back to his room to find the man sitting on his bed, this man was different though- different from the man that first entered his room and smashed him against his wall. Using had become kind of a thing for Roxas, he took pills that the new man in his room always gave him, he didn't want to at first but when his hands started to shake and he felt extremely sick he shoved a few in his mouths and everything turned out fine. When he admitted that he was taking the pill the man only gave a small laugh and smile, when he told him that "Saïx claims" he seemed sadden by it, but still sent Roxas to go and meet him. Constantly refusing the drugs only made Saïx give them to him more, he was happy they weren't also giving him 8 ball (a.k.a. Bath salts), after that Roxas didn't know if he could ever get away from it all. Though with the drugs and pills in his system he found less of a reason to cut, instead he just popped a pill- he still cut sometimes~ sadly though, when Cloud got too out of hand and Roxas found himself unable to get to the drugs because he ran away or something.

Axel was worried about the kid, he wasn't entirely sure if the kid was cutting or not- and he wouldn't press the issue, but he could tell that there was also something else. While the kid was small since the red head met him- he found the boy getting smaller and smaller and if Axel didn't take the kid out and make him eat he realized that the boy wouldn't feed himself. If Axel ever asked why, Roxas would reply with: "I'm a picky eater," though everything Axel gave him he seemed to enjoy. Before the bus could arrive and Roxas and Axel could get a conversation going, Roxas' phone went off, he looked down thinking it was a text only to realize it was a call, he thought of just hitting 'Ignore', he saw the disappointment on Axel's face and instantly hit the button. "Do you want to… maybe, hang out all day?" Roxas nervously asked, watching the older man's face light up, he noticed that the face he was beginning to love looking at was becoming fuller and healthier looking- he like it "Where do you wanna go?" Axel asked, already pulling his keys out of his pocket, he knew the kid was smart by the few words he ever said, the more comfortable Roxas got around Axel the more the kid talked, and Axel found himself to like the sound of the child's voice.

"Anywhere," Roxas smiled, jumping into the car, his hoodie almost got caught in the door, that was one of the first times it had ever happen, and although it was no big deal really, Axel's comment got to the boy, "Why don't you just take the coat off, it's gotta be, like, ninety degrees outside?" Axel smiled but Roxas felt his heart beat quicken, not only did he have scars that shown clearly on his pale skin, he also had fresh cuts and small scabbed over pricks from the needle full of drugs pushing into his veins. He froze for a second, and then chose to laugh it off; Axel was still smiling so the boy was in the clear. They drove around for a while till they found a laser tag studio, Axel soon learned that the boy had a quick reaction time and was very hard to shoot at, especially when he ran, the next round Axel chose to be on Roxas' team, what Axel meant innocently, "I'm only doing it to protect my little Roxy, not cuz I'm a sore loser," actually made the blonde blush a little and in a few seconds the red head. He found that he actually meant that, he didn't want anything to happen to Roxy; he understood it was just a game, but he also understood that Roxas had been hurt and the thought of it happening, let alone when Axel was around, enraged him.

After a few epic rounds of the game, Roxas and Axel celebrated their victory by eating pizza, the cheese slipping off the red heads pizza and sticking to his chin led the blond into a fit of giggles, and later Axel joined in too. Axel became disappointed again when his Roxy's phone started to buzz, knowing that when the phone vibrated blondie went bye-bye, but happiness returned when the blond yet again ignored the message or call. He never bothered to ask who the call was from or where he went, he boy withdrew from him when he did and often found a reason not to talk to Axel for the rest of the day, he asked for the boy's number to get a hold of Roxas, but after going through the phone at Roxas' reply of: "I don't know the number," Axel found that there was no number. The only button's that worked on the phone was the 'End' button and the 'Send' Button, and Axel figured if Roxas knew the number he would tell the redhead. But there was also a lot he thought the blond should tell him that Roxas didn't. "Who is that?" he finally asked, a smile on his face to tell the boy it was nothing serious and if he didn't want to answer he didn't have to he just didn't want the boy to go away. "No one important," Roxas felt comforted by Axel's smile, not caring at all what would happen to him if he didn't answer the calls- he figured nothing would, he was wrong.

"I remember one time, when I was seven, my mom's boyfriend bought me this _authentic_ watch, trying to buy me off, I took it, and sold it for about ten bucks, it wasn't even worth that," Axel laughed, he found it easy to talk to the blond and felt that if he did then the blond would in turn tell him more, but he only asked to hear more about Axel. So, no longer waiting for the blond to just spill a story, Axel decided to ask, "So, why do you live with Cloud?" There were several things he meant by that, but Roxas felt like he needed to explain everything, knowing that Axel deserved to know something about him, "Well, Cloud was my physiatrist therapist person, I knew him a few months, and when I wasn't allowed to stay where I had been he took me in. Temporarily at first, till he and Tifa found that it was all nice, like a big happy family, so they adopted me legally a little over a year ago." He smiled at the thought, Cloud wasn't really as bad as Axel thought, though Roxas was only fond of the man and didn't feel the need to praise him, and Roxas didn't hate him though. "Why would they let you stay there, he's a drunk…" Axel wanted to add more, but he didn't, he let his sentence fade into silence, waiting for Roxas to start his reply- the blond quickly caught on and started talking, "He wasn't always like that… After she died he fell out of it… and… just hasn't found a way back in yet," his voice had been getting quieter as he spoke but he didn't notice, "After who died?"

Roxas looked up, a little confused at first, as if not knowing who Axel was referring to, "Tifa…" he mumbled, and Axel could see the hurt expression on his face though the blond was expertly hiding it from his voice, "oh," he simply replied. They spent the next two hours on a happy note, Axel did everything he could to get the blond to laugh- knowing the kids tough wall was really down when his silent laughs were no longer silent and you could hear his soft voice in his giggles. That alone made Axel happier. He didn't know why the kid had that effect on him, why the kid made him care at all, at some point in his mind he thought the kid would just up and leave him, like his mother, but he quickly shoved that thought away when Roxas would move closer to him, so their arms touched or their legs. Roxas didn't even seem to notice it, it just felt right to him, like if he got closer the more bad memories and haunting images would erase from his existence. The day had gone by exceedingly well, Roxas' face hurt from smiling almost the entire time and his jaw hurt from all the talking he did- something that was knew to him really, Axel felt accomplished that the blond at talked so much and admitted shamelessly that his jaw hurt from the unusual experience. Turning dirty in his mind instantly, Axel started laughing harder, he didn't know why that was the first place his mind went with the lithe child but he wasn't ashamed of it.

Dropping Roxas off at home, Axel got out of the car, accompanying the boy to his door; Roxas didn't seem put off by it at all, almost like he was hoping for it all to happen, especially the next part. Slowing down as he reached the door Roxas turned around, no reason in his head, just not wanting the day to end, he was quickly surprised when he found something warm pressing into his lips, his eyes drifted shut on their own accord and he felt himself leaning into the red heads lips. Comforting warmth enveloping his small body, Axel felt the need to take the kiss further, licking at the blond's small lips to open, but when he felt the slight nervousness he kept the kiss simple and instead pulled the small frame towards him and hugged him close. Breaking the kiss slowly, Roxas found his arms wrapped around the man's waist, holding him closer with his head turned so the side of his head pressed against the strong chest, hearing the rapid heartbeat flutter on the other side. They reluctantly pulled apart and Roxas slowly found his way into his room, the house pitch black, a smile on his face from the remaining memories and warmth from the red head, he flicked on his light only to have is eyes close against his will. A hand smashing his face into his bedroom wall, his world faded out as he heard a familiar voice speak strongly, "I'll teach you to fucking ignore me…"

**Sorry it's so short, I wrote it in less than an hour, kinda in a hurry. **


	4. Chapter 4: I Promise

**_WARNING_**: There be some **_Rape_** in this chapter :/

Roxas hadn't even opened his eyes yet but he felt seasick, like he was swaying back in forth, he felt something uncomfortably wrapped tightly around his wrists and ankles, he tried to rub the discomfort in his head off on his arm, he eyes slowly opened up, he couldn't see anything at first but panic had already sunk in. Trying not to move, to not make a sound, he thought about where he was- he didn't know, but he was trying to assume, he tried to keep his breathing normal even though his heart was racing, he breathed through his nose- trying to smell the air, to see if it smelt familiar, in which it did, but he couldn't place it, he didn't know where the hell he was. The last thing he could remember was Axel, the kiss, his face turned red at the thought, he didn't regret it at all, didn't regret anything about the time he spent with Axel. Hearing the way the redhead talked about himself didn't at all fit the way the blond thought of him, Axel talked like he was a pathetic, carefree, hard head, asshole, mean, evil, violent, troublesome, drunk, and bastard demon.

But Roxas saw who he really was, someone who just grew tough to get by, something he tried to do himself but never quite got, Axel was a human and like humans wanted love and comfort and a reason to belong, but he hated himself for feeling that way and tried to push it away and instead become more cold and mean. Roxas could tell that Axel had a soft spot for him, letting the boy get close, Roxas felt like he belonged to him- not in the 'He's a possessive dick-head' way, but the 'I want to do everything to protect him/ taking him under his wing/ giving him a reason to belong' type of way, and Axel felt the same for Roxas.

Thinking of Axel had managed to calm the blond down, but all his calmness went out the window when he felt a hand clamp on his throat, causing him to jump and pull the restraints and realize just exactly where he was. He was in some strange part of the ware house, and the man who had brought him there had tied him down to something soft like a bed- he tied him to a bed actually, and he striped Roxas so he had no shirt or pants on, his boxers remained on his hips though. The man that had knocked out the frail boy was Saïx, and he was pissed, being ignored the first time he would let slip with just a warning, but when his calls were unanswered and he was ignored for the second time there would be no warning, just a punishment.

Shaking violently and gasping for air under Saïx's hot fingers, Saïx could feel the windpipe contracting and tightening in the freezing cold boy's throat, it only affected the man in a way that would put the scared boy in more harm and give him more to be afraid about.

Straddling the boy's tinny and protruding hips, two pairs of boxers, a pair of pants, and what little restraint he held for the boy's sake- all he could manage, kept Saïx from where he desired to be, he leaned down to press his cheek against the cold boys own. Whispering into his ear, watching the loose spikey bold hair twirl and wave from his warm breath while the frail boy beneath him shook more and breathed quickly, "I claimed you, you never," he squeezed Roxas' throat tighter for emphasis, "ever, ignore me." Instantly Roxas knew what was happening, he was still technically a virgin, the low life drug dealers his father handed him to where for the most part straight and would only settle for a suck. He was at least thankful for that, his body shook more when he realized that Saïx would settle for nothing less- actually, more that he wasn't settling for anything, Saïx was going to take whatever he damn well pleased no matter how much Roxas could scream.

Saïx tried to make it as uncomfortable for the boy as possible, though he wouldn't try to rip the boy too much for the simple fact that it wouldn't be the only time he would get in the boy, Roxas assumed there would be time and some more hints as to when everything would start. But, instead he was so caught off guard that his voice box couldn't even manufacture a scream, even though the hand on his throat was removed and instead placed on his hips, squeezing tightly to leave bruises and to keep the shaking, withering, and struggling boy in place.

Dousing himself in lube, he quickly pulled Roxas' boxers off and shoved himself inside before the boy could realize he was even naked, only actually touching the boy on his hips to bury himself inside- Roxas was not at all ready or prepared, Saïx became so lost in his own body and hormones he couldn't hear Roxas. Remaining still only for his own gain while he basked in bliss, feeling Roxas clamp tight around the intrusion, not wanting the boy to get comfortable at all, he quickly pulled almost entirely out before pulling the hips and jerking his own to bury himself yet again in the boy. At first Saïx heard nothing, though that didn't mean there was nothing to be heard. Roxas couldn't even force himself to breathe- the sudden pain racking his body, as his body began to shake more he fought with the restraints and quiet cries ebbed from around his lip that was held between his teeth. Feeling the man pull out quickly Roxas was almost relieved, but feeling the man shove back in- this time Roxas' vocal cords already ready to scream- screamed and pleaded for the man to stop as his body pulled against the restraints, doing everything he possibly could to try again to get away.

He didn't even feel the death grip on his hips till a few seconds later when everything began to calm down again, but- there would be no more of that. Roxas screamed at the brutal and quick thrusts, trying to bite his lips to not give the satisfaction to Saïx, but he couldn't do it, he tried and tried but there was just too much. He fought the entire time, which was a surprisingly long time that felt even longer to the boy withering and twitching in pain. Feeling the pace quicken, his pleas not even coherent words anymore he felt Saïx's pace become erratic before feeling something shoot through him, filling him up- disgusting the boy even more, by this time though, his struggles against the chains were less violent as his muscles screamed out for him to stop, only becoming simple movements to barely wiggle his arms- but it was all he could manage. His heart rate was so loud and heavy that when Saïx collapsed on him, he could feel it as he descended from his high, placing his hand gently on the tear stained cheek Saïx tried to comfort the boy, knowing he was in complete pain and torment and knowing the lesson was learned clear, he didn't want to boy to become too afraid of him and sully his chance of ever having a two sided wanting session.

Roxas' screams and cries turned to cracked pleas and weak whimpers, hearing the sounds from Roxas almost made Saïx regret his actions, and it also made him want to do them again. He sat up; leaving the child handcuffed by one hand and one foot to the bed- he didn't want to comfort the child too much so soon after, he left the room. Making Roxas feel safe yet oddly alone, he tried to roll over, tried to get away, but he had no energy- kicking into his last remaining adrenaline he managed to lay on his side as pain shot through his body and racked his spine, he placed his newly free hand on the still trapped hand only to realize his hand was handcuffed to the bed. Giving up was the only option he had, his body knew it before he did and he found himself slipping out cold, wishing for Axel to save him, make him warm, and comfort him, but he didn't know if he would ever even see the man again.

Axel waited outside where Roxas normally waited for the bus, he found no one, and Roxas at least would walk to the stop sign and say: "Hi," before he left off going where ever it was he went. Deciding to wait, he stayed parked, after a few hours he got tired of sitting on the hood of his car and sat on the leather seats to let sleep take him.

Saïx walked silently back into the room after a few minutes, to find the boy on his side, his arms stretched over his head to try and get the handcuffs off, he was passed out cold, tears slowly falling down his face still. Sitting on the bed next to the boy, he watched as he buried his head in his arm and a soft whisper escaped almost silently, his body going rigid almost immediately. Rubbing the boy's back softly he cooed, trying to get the bruised boy to calm down, to fall into a deeper slumber, once he was sure it worked he slowly stood up, unhooked the boy's trapped ankle to slide a new pair of boxers and his old pants back on. Leaving the ankle unattached, he also unattached the wrist and pulled his arms over to slide a button up shirt up his arms, losing the one the boy did have on, he didn't bother to button the shirt up. Saïx sat by the boy and waited for him to wake up, when he felt the frail body twitch slightly, he knew he was awake. Pulling the boy over to him, rolling him onto his back, his head pressed against Saïx's upright chest while Roxas' body lay down between his legs, his body went rigid and shivers passed through him, he kept his head down, not looking up or at the man at all. Feeling the boy shake constantly he wrapped his arms around the boy's chest, placing his hands on his shoulders, he whispered to Roxas that it would now be okay, that he hated having to hurt the small child.

Roxas didn't calm down though, more shivers passed through him and he felt even more cold, his lower body aching, all his muscles screaming at every move he made, a whimper escaped hushed as he heard Saïx's words. Saïx began to roll up Roxas' left sleeve, past the elbow, Roxas knew what was happening and began to plea with the man with things covering the lines of: "No…please…don't-I…I don't want to- please don't… stop," Saïx _was_ listening, loving the sounds and pleas but didn't stop, he reached over after tying the tourniquet and grabbed the already prepared needle. Slowly placing it by the boy's arm, feeling him shiver continuously he slowly pushed the needle to break the skin, once everything was injected, Roxas' pleas became more spaced out and quieter till they faded altogether and his head lolled down, after a few minutes resting in the crook of Saïx's arm. Rubbing the boy's upper arm, Saïx held him, both his hands planted on the boy's left arm where the drugs were injected, holding the boy close he felt the boy relax and become more laid back. The boy didn't take as much of the straight stuff as he did pills, though the boy did have some at least every six days, Saïx could tell he still wasn't getting used to the drugs, still unable to handle them entirely.

Roxas was already in complete and utter pain that he didn't need to pick at the wounds on his arm, didn't feel the need to cause himself anymore harm, but what did happen was he cried, tears poured down his face, Saïx felt Roxas' shoulders start to shake and Saïx's arm began to get wet as the tears dripped off Roxas' face and landed on his bare arm. The point was for the child to learn not to disobey Saïx and Saïx felt like he had taught his lesson well, even if the boy only acted out of fear for a few months- Saïx would get what he wanted, he always did.

Roxas woke up to find himself completely alone in the building, he grabbed his hoodie, unable to find his actual shirt, and he left as quickly as possible before anyone could get back, not bothering to button the shirt or zip his hoodie. Finding it incredibly hard to walk, he mostly limped, not liking it- but doing it anyways, he purchased a cab, paying the taxi man to take him a few houses away from his home while he slept in the back seat. Though he didn't actually manage to sleep, the man started to question him, asking why there was blood on his cheek, looking in the rear view mirror, Roxas saw the bloody hand print from where Saïx touched his cheek. Trying to rub it off he didn't bother to look to see if he got it all off, he zoned out in thought, the man kept looking at his chest which was revealed and covered and laced in scars- but Roxas didn't really even notice that, he didn't notice anything till his door opened and he looked up to find a redhead holding the door open with a concerned look on his face. Staring in disbelief at first, Roxas felt tears starting to weld up in his eyes as he gazed at the man, as quickly as he could he stood up, wrapping his arms around the taller man as tears fell from his eyes.

Axel woke up and sat on the hood for another almost thirty minutes when he saw a cab, and sitting in one of the seats he saw a bloody, bruised, and tired Roxas, waving for the man to stop he talked to the cab driver. He tried to talk to Roxas, worried out of his mind, but he found Roxas unresponsive, opening the door, now both him and cab driver worried, he stared at Roxas as his head slowly lifted and what Axel saw in the eyes broke his heart. Whatever the child had before to make his eyes look like they weren't completely hurt, even though it was fake, was now completely gone- like he didn't care, like he couldn't even force fake anymore. He also took into account that various shinny marks that laced his chest and stomach, the small dark spots that looked like burns, he knew that mark well and knew it was from cigarettes and the deep hollow rings from car lighters, while it may have sound unattractive the way they faded but stood out against the frail boy's skin made him look hurt and made Axel find himself even more in love with the kid. In an instant he found the boy clutching around him, squeezing and pulling the back of Axel's shirt tightly, holding on for dear life, Axel felt the frail boy burry his face into his stomach and chest, shocked at first, his heart breaking a little from the pain emanating off the boy, he wrapped his hands around the boy, closing the door so the cab man could leave. Roxas wouldn't let go of Axel and Axel wouldn't make him, helping the boy to the car he let him lay down in the backseat for a short while till they got to his house.

Once there Axel found himself unable to leave, even if he wanted to, Roxas wouldn't let go of him, reaching his house door, Roxas stood, looking down at his feet as he mumbled a question to Axel. Partially because he was afraid to ask, but mainly because his voice was so raw from screaming, Axel could hear it and flinched at the sound, "Would you-… stay…with me?" he asked slowly, Axel froze at the emotions he could hear in the frail boys voice, "Of course," he opened the door and walked with Roxas to his room, Roxas practically fell on the bed, a long fall to meet a mattress on the floor, still holding onto Axel's hand, he was out almost as soon as he hit the bed. Axel didn't want to, but he forced the boy to let go of his hand, placing his hand to stroke Roxas' messy hair, the boy was in no attire fit for sleeping. Looking down he saw Roxas' shoes, they weren't even tied right, like he hadn't even bothered to, his foot caught on the back of the shoe so his foot wasn't even in the boot all the way.

Taking the boots off he saw the cuts that lapped around his ankles, cutting deep on the bones, removing the boy's already unzipped hoodie, he found an unbutton shirt that was much too big for the boy and not the boy's style- meaning a shirt that wasn't his, he pulled the already falling off fabric completely off and his heart cracked at the sight. Seeing the unbeknownst self-inflicted wounds and scars that riddled his arm, small red dots on his inner elbow, seeing similar cuts on his wrist as to his ankles, he moved the boy towards the wall, picking the blanket up from under him. Bruises covered the hip bones, deep and wrapping around the boy's sides, Axel couldn't take anymore; he almost wanted to scream himself, looking up at the boy's face he saw the boy was still crying.

Lying under the covers with the frail and bruised boy, Axel pulled him closer so Roxas' head rested on his chest, the redhead's arm bent to lay on Roxas' back and side, as he started stroking the boy's arm and brushing the hair out of his beautiful face. Taking stock of the pale remnants of blood on his cheek, the stain of tears, while the boy shivered uncontrollably like he was in pain, he spoke to the boy, making sure to call him Roxy instead of Roxas so the broken boy would be able to tell who was with him. Axel had more than enough evidence to prove what he thought happen, especially when he saw- more of felt, the boy limping, he laid awake for as long as he could, telling the bruised boy as many stories as he could so the boy would be able to hear his voice. For that, Roxas was extremely grateful, he loved Axel's voice and it comforted him just to hear it, whenever a shiver passed through Roxas at his new memories Axel would say "Roxy," and hold him just a little tighter and Roxas would know everything was okay.

Falling in and out of sleep for most of the night, Axel woke up afraid to find Roxas crying or afraid, but still he was surprised when he woke up once to find just that, quickly he sat up and pulled the boy over to him. Somehow on the tiny bed Roxas was able to curl away, Roxas' eyes popped open when he felt and heard Axel, letting the man maneuver him around so he could cuddle comfortably again with the red head. After a few minutes of sitting in silence Roxas tapped gently on Axel's chest, when he felt the man's head shift he knew he was awake, "Axel?" he whispered softly, making sure he had the tall man's full attention, "Hmm?" Axel was almost afraid to make any loud noises, afraid he might scare the boy. "Thank you… I'm sorry," Roxas found it hard to stop the tears in the middle of his sentence, he wanted to rip his arm off- not just give it a small cut, he tried to bury his head into the bed and away from Axel, trying not to be any more of a burden then he already thought he was.

Gently flipping the boy over onto his back, Roxas struggled weakly, Axel gently pinned his arms to Roxas' side, resting his own arms by the boy's shoulders, his hands softly holding the boy's face in place, and he saw the tears starting to swell in the cyan eyes. "I promise, as long as I'm around, I will make sure you never get hurt," Axel knew there was a lot in his words, but he thought he could manage everything, he stared into the eyes as his words sunk in, the tears grew in size till they spilled over the edge while a small noise escaped through the boy's quivering lips, Axel kissed the boy's forehead, allowing him to cry it out. Roxas found some strength and managed to wrap his arms around Axel to pull at his back, trying to hold him tight and to pull him closer. Placing their foreheads together Axel watched the boy's face as it contoured to let tears fall and small sounds escape, when a wave began to end Axel took his chance and gently kissed the boys lips, keeping it simple and gentle- to not hurt or make the boy any more afraid or hurt. It worked to calm the boy down some, so when Axel laid down on his side the boy turned with him and cuddled close, falling asleep almost peacefully as the red head held him.

"I promise."

* * *

_**Yep**_


	5. Chapter 5: Pills and Love

Chapter Five

The sun sat high in the sky, it was well past noon but both Axel and Roxas had slept soundly, Roxas because of Axel's promise and Axel because Roxas was perfectly asleep. Sliding out from under the blankets, Axel watched carefully to see if the boy would wake up, instead the boy grabbed hold of the pillow he had been resting on and cuddled to it, taking a deep inhale of the pillow to smell Axel on it. Axel smiled at that but also felt a little rejected knowing he could be replaced with a pillow that smelt like him, at that same thought one of Roxas' eyes popped open weakly, his teal eyes softly watched Axel's face, waiting for the red head to do something. He noticed when Roxas began to move that he was in pain, "Where's your pain killers?" he asked gently, looking around to see if maybe he had some in the room, Roxas was silent for a few seconds, as if thinking, he began to try and move again at which Axel just couldn't allow. "Nuh-huh, you're going to stay in bed today and sleep, and since you're not allowed out- I'll just have to make you breakfast, now, where's your pain killers?"  
Having been gently pushed back down into the bed Roxas pouted, not liking the idea of having to stay in bed all day, he remembered that he had been asked a question and he still didn't know how to answer, "I don't need any…" he would wait till later and take one of his pills, he didn't want Axel to know that he did drugs. Turning onto his side he snuggled the pillow closer, lost in thought, "What if Axel finds out everything that has happened- everything… What if he never wants to speak to or see me again…?" Roxas started to become depressed at his own in monologue, "You sure?" Roxas nodded, and Axel stood up and walked out, leaving the door opened just a sliver but almost shut completely into place so a breeze wouldn't open it. The thought caused him to look over at a perfect time, seeing the man leaning against the inside of his window, his arms crossed, Roxas only cared to give him a glance for a second before returning his eyes to the door.  
The man, who while he had seen Roxas on average three times a week still didn't bother to tell the boy his name, took stock as to how the boy was laying, while waiting for him to say something. Roxas had four blankets on the bed, one was clearly under him and the other man, the other aided in being a pillow and the other two crisscrossed to wrap and weave around the boy. He could clearly see the bruises on the boy, and Roxas made no attempt to hide them- he didn't even know they were showing- actually, he didn't even know he had any, "What happened?" his voice was soft and that told Roxas that he already knew what damn well happened, "I ignored him twice…" Roxas finally whispered after a few minutes, debating if he wanted to answer or not. The man hadn't hurt Roxas himself but the man started it all and Roxas wanted to be mad at someone, so he chose to be mad at him, the man seemed like he already assumed that, "Just twice… huh…" he spoke to himself, Roxas found himself curious as to why he said that, "Normally, it's more times than that before he gets angry." Roxas shrugged, it wasn't like he cared how quickly he got angry, and he wasn't ever going to see the man again, no way in hell. "Well, take the pain pills, he'll expect you there tomorrow like any other day," He tried to yell at the man but he found the stranger was already gone, and he started to listen to Axel- remembering he was in the house, and heard another quiet voice.

While looking for food, Axel found that there actually wasn't very much- he should've assumed as much since Roxas doesn't really eat and Cloud was always drinking, and right on cue Cloud stumbled out with an almost completely empty Vodka bottle in hand. Axel stared at the man for a little while, Cloud knew the man but he couldn't remember from where, after a few seconds he gave up and just didn't care, reaching into the freezer Axel watched closely as Cloud took out yet another bottle of Vodka. "Do you really think that's wise, you're already plenty drunk," Axel spoke out, normally he didn't care about persons and their alcohol, but this person was close to Roxas and he knew that when Cloud got drunk he hurt the small boy, physically and emotionally, "What do you mean?" Clouds voice was quiet, the glass bottle's _tink_ as it set on the counter made more noise, Axel stared at the man a little shocked, "Do you know how your drinking affects Roxas?" It was a simple question and Axel made no attempt to be kind to the man, Cloud was a soft heart and didn't openly like to fight, that much the red head knew, he also knew that even if the man was Axel still wouldn't be afraid to fight him for Roxas.  
"Roxas doesn't care…" He looked off to Roxas' room, his face more sad than grumpy, he started to walk away before Axel could start to speak again, if he had spoken a little quicker- Roxas would end up less hurt in the end.  
After a short while, Axel had made pancakes and toast, there really wasn't anything else to make- there wasn't even any milk in the fridge, he jumped a little when someone loosely wrapped their thin arms around his stomach and pressed the side of their head into this back. He laughed a little, "You're supposed to stay in bed, that was the whole point," Thinking back on his words Axel felt strange, it still wasn't used to being naturally happy, to not be in fights, high on drugs, or drinking- things just felt light to him even though the boy hardly did anything for him. Roxas held the man for a few seconds and when he turned around he looked up at him and gave a small smile, Axel could tell it was fake- but he also could tell that Roxas wasn't going to be faking a smile for anyone else anytime soon. "Just cuz you give me a hug doesn't get you off the leash," he started to try and more Roxas back to the bedroom but the little boy just held him tighter and buried his head in the bare man's stomach, it was then that Axel realized they both had no shirts on and they were both pressing against each other, "Fine," he laughed.  
Sitting on the couch Axel made Roxas eat both toast, the red head was shocked when the blond actually did it, normally the kid would just give him a pouting face and change the conversation but this time he didn't argue, "So… what do you want to do today?" Roxas' voice was still broken and quiet, his throat felt raw from his screaming but it was better than the night before, Axel felt a pang shoot through his heart. "Stay here," he recommended, Axel knew the kid hurt and didn't want to force him out into the world just yet, maybe the next day, but at the kids pout he took him seriously, "Where do you want to go?" Roxas didn't want to be anywhere near Cloud, not at that time of day, but he also didn't want to socialize, "The bridge?"  
Taking a shower was first, Roxas looked at himself in the mirror and realized how bad he looked wasn't as bad as how he felt, taking note of the bruises on his hip bones and actually seeing his wrists in full light for the first time. His lip was cut and swollen from him biting it over and over, his hair a mess, and when he looked closer he saw that his eyes looked broken, he couldn't stand to look at himself, and when he got in the shower and saw pale red wash down his leg he couldn't even stand to have his eyes open while he was naked. Axel threw out the clothes Roxas had worn the day before, and Roxas was happy for that, when he came out of the bathroom he had on a black wife beater, his hoodie, and thin black combat pants. Shoving three spray cans in his backpack he and Axe drove to the bridge, Roxas asked if Axel would stay up on top for a few minutes and wait for Roxas to call him down, which he agreed to.  
Roxas had dug the blade into his skin while he was in the bathroom, his arm bled for a good ten minutes, but he needed new blood- that or drugs, which the thought alone brought back memories he wouldn't mind if he forgot. Quietly he pulled off his hoodie, grabbed the razor and cut across his inner elbow, it was higher up than he ever had before- but he knew it would bleed well, reaching into one of his many pockets he pulled out a wad of toilet paper and an Ace bandage. It bled almost too much, he was revealing in the feeling till he heard Axel's voice, "Can I come down yet?" he shuffled to stand up, not even realizing he had fallen down, "No, not yet," his voice was panicked but Axel waited. He felt light headed, the loss of too much blood- he was used to it, but not to this extreme, after all, he was extremely tinny, wrapping his arm up he began to feel the sting. Telling him that what he did was stupid his wound burned but his arm felt freezing from the blood loss, he pulled his hoodie on and stood in front of his already covered canvas and took out a spray can, "Okay…"  
Axel was intrigued with how the kid spray painted, he loved watching him shade with the solid black over the semi colored pictures, "Did you draw all of these?" He looked around, both walls were entirely covered, with words or sentences, faces, eyes, hands, and mouths, Roxas nodded his head but stayed silent, Axel caught on to not speak. Watching the boy instead of the picture he made, Axel could tell he was still in pain but for some reason his body flowed like all his pain was being used to make the picture, looking up he saw the picture a half done- but amazing. Roxas threw the spray can down and picked up another, completely zoned out into what he was making, he didn't know till he picked up the can and pulled the trigger but now he knew exactly what he was making and it was all planed out right. He zoned out into the emotions he felt while Axel zoned out into the movements the boy was making, never turning around to look at the red head that leaned against the other wall, Roxas almost forgot he was there.  
After about another thirty minutes the blond threw down another can and when he picked up the third and last, he attached a thin red straw to the end, making the spray more exact. An hour later, after adding all the small details, Roxas was done and stepped back, Axel stepped forward and the stood staring at it, it wasn't all that dramatic but it made Roxas feel better. Axel didn't know what to say to the picture, it was beyond amazing, it was a picture of an upside down person, their mouth his open but there is some sort of wrapper taped over it, the eyes are gone, the black hair surrounds the persons face and the edges of the pic all cut off to create a symbol, "What's that mean, the symbol?" Axel asked, it was a cross with an upside down heart attached to the bottom, "It's the Nobody emblem…" Roxas murmured, his body was aching from it forcing it to much so much, when he sat down Axel followed him, at first a little distance away, but at some point he had moved closer so they were nearly touching.  
"Are you okay?" Axel broke the silence, looking over to the small boy that was curled up, he didn't answer right away but when he did his voice was hushed, "Yeah… I'll be fine…" The blond hair he only loved on the boy wasn't as spikey as it normally was and succeeded in hiding the boy's face, Axel didn't like his answer and in an instant was spun around to kneel in front of the boy, one knee resting on the ground he leaned closer to Roxas, who was almost scared by the movement. "Roxy…" he wanted to add so much to it, but he didn't know how to put it into words, instead he gently cupped Roxas' face in his hands and even more gently pressed his lips to the small boy's. Sitting rigid at first Roxas' eyes drifted shut, though he had to keep reminding himself that it was Axel, not Saïx, somehow they maneuvered so Axel was sitting against the wall, legs straight out as Roxas sat on his lap, though the kiss stayed simple. Wrapping his arms around the small boy, Roxas laid his head on the man's chest; though he was sitting on him he was still shorter than the red head.  
"I love you Roxy,"

Driving around Roxas made it apparent that he didn't want to go home, so Axel showed him to his new place, since he had quit doing so much drinking and drugs, he was able to get enough money to get an apartment in what used to be a motel. "I know it's not all that much, but it's mine home now," Axel scratched the back of his head, he was actually nervous to show the kid his home, he didn't know if Roxas would judge him because it wasn't all that fancy or nice looking. Roxas smiled though, "Your home is more than mine," he meant for it to be a joke but as the words sunk in and their small laughs wore off, a spark went off in Axel's head. "Hey, Roxy, I have a question… Would you, maybe… I don't know… wanna move in with me?" Roxas could hear that Axel was nervous and had to hide the small smile on his face, Axel's face was red enough to match his hair, making his eyes stick out even more and Roxas was almost taken back in awe at how clear and pretty Axel's eyes were, not that they weren't before, but they were even more clear.  
When Roxas didn't respond right away it made Axel even more nervous, he went to speak again and say that it wasn't all that big a deal, but he was cut off when Roxas stood on his tiptoes to press his own lips quickly against the red heads cheek, hugging him in the process. "I would love to," Roxas smiled inwardly, he felt such a strange comfort around the red head and the thought of forever being with him brightened his world. Axel also couldn't help but smile, he felt the same way for the kid and everything seemed to be coming alive for him, his pale and endless days before were all gone and he actually wanted to wake up early, like he'd been sleeping the entire time and Roxas just woke up him.

"No," Cloud quickly said, Roxas' heart almost broke at how plain his word was he had asked if he could move in with Axel, who waited outside for Roxas. He had never expected Cloud to tell him 'No,' "Why not?" Standing up, Cloud almost fell; he had been drinking the entire day, "Not yet… Roxas… I'm not trying to be unfair when I say no; I'm trying to actually use what I know… or at least, what I knew… What does this man know about you? Does he know anything about what you've gone through or about your past at all? No, he doesn't, and I already know this because you don't like to talk to people- especially ones that mean a lot to you." Setting his hand on Roxas' shoulder as he walked by, "He already knows enough…" "There's no such thing as enough, you're only allowed to move in with him if you're open with him… till then, you're to come home every night at the latest twelve and if not, then I'll report you as a runaway." Roxas went to retort but Cloud was already walking into his bedroom, no longer listening to the small boy.  
Thinking for a short while, Roxas didn't know how to feel, he didn't know if he should feel happy that Cloud was actually caring about him or upset that that was the one time he decided to. Walking out slowly, mostly because he was in pain, he approached Axel's car and Axel could tell by the look on his face that he was told no, "Why not?" Axel half way sat on and half way leaned against the car's hood, his arms folded across his chest, Roxas stopped a few feet in front of him, his arms crossed but only because he was cold and his hoodie wasn't helping him any. "He says I have to be more open with you before he'll allow me too… I have to be home at midnight every night or he'll report me as running away…" Roxas decided to be mad, but Axel didn't want him to be, pulling him closer Axel wrapped his arms around the cold boy and gave a small laugh, "We still have all day," Roxas smiled at the warmth h was pulled into, happy that Axel wasn't acting as bummed as Roxas was- though he knew he was.

Lying down in bed, Roxas took a few more pain-killers than he should have, but he didn't care, he slipped off in to dreamland and didn't bother to get up till almost ten the next morning. Only waking up to hear his phone go off, he quickly hit the green button, only half way listening, "Be here at eleven," and with that they hung up. Sighing Roxas got up, pulling on a shirt and his hoodie, his eyes drifted shut as he pulled his shoes on, a grumble leaving his throat, he didn't feel like getting up, the only things that was moving him was fear. Taking more pain killers he headed out, getting a ride in the first cab he could find to drop him off just down the road, walking up his heart began to race, what if everything happened again? Roxas was nervous as the first time he entered through the doors, his hand shook just the same but now it was thinner, but he pushed through anyway, walking into the ware house he saw no one, he didn't want to be alone with Saïx again, well… he actually never wanted to be just around Saïx again.  
A shiver passed through Roxas when a pair of arms wrapped around his waist and chest, "Hello Roxas," Saïx whispered into Roxas' ear, his breath hitting the shell, the sadistic smile grew on his face as he felt shivers pass through the frail boy, holding him closer idea's passed through his sick mind.

So yeah… I don't really know, this one was kinda random and I had a lot of blocks… so… bleh… It's 2:22 a.m. and I'm bored out of my mind and also tired so that could be why this chapter sucked more xD I know where it's all going, just not exactly how to get there… but yeah, Saïx is alone with Roxas again- *gasp* ohhh nooossss


	6. Chapter 6: Feel the Passion

Jumping once he felt his arms, Roxas' body began to shake, he weakly tried to pull away- not wanting to upset the man or give the man more incentive, but Saïx just tightened his hold and before Roxas could comprehend it they were sitting on the couch. Roxas sitting under the arm of Saïx, without even thinking pulled away and sat on the very edge of the couch, looking back in Saïx' direction, but not able to look him in the eye. Saïx just gave a small laugh, "Come now Roxas, surly you're not afraid?" Watching the boy's face Saïx could see that Roxas was clearly scared and didn't want to be there, "Did you like it?" "Of course not," Roxas snapped back, his eyes shot up only to shoot back down when his small retort was done. Laughing a little more Saïx was enjoying it all, strangely he loved having the child shaking from fear, he pulled the boy over- pressing the boy's head against his chest, wrapping his arm around him, he whispered into his ear, "Good, listen well and I promise it'll never happen again."

Just from the simple movement Saïx made- Roxas was shaking, he couldn't wait to get out of there, he was scared because he didn't know what would happen- he wasn't given any drugs to give the man, so he didn't know why he was there. A shiver passed through him when Saïx pulled him closer still, he watched the far door open and hear several people walking in, "It'd be best for you to stay quiet," It was a warning from Saïx and Roxas didn't have to be told twice, he was pulled a little closer and was struggling to keep his weight off the man- not wanting to be anywhere near him let alone leaning on him. The man that walked in looked like a pimp with pink hair- instantly terrifying Roxas more, he heard the man and Saïx beginning to talk, he could feel the man looking at him but Roxas did his best to ignore everything they were saying and to pretend to be somewhere else, he felt Saïx give his arm a squeeze that was rather gentle but shook the boy from his dream land.

Watching them walk away Saïx' grip loosened some, "Did you hear any of that conversation?" Roxas didn't answer, mostly because he didn't know which was the right answer, "Good," Saïx didn't want the boy to remember anything he had said, though he knew the child wasn't listening at all. "That man was Marluxia, do best to remember his name and face," Roxas caught on that Marluxia was in a better position than Saïx, and with some more words Saïx basically told Roxas that it was lucky of the kid to have Saïx next to him or he would be in a world of hurt at Marluxia's hands. Roxas didn't bother to question what he had said, mostly because he didn't want to talk to him, but even before he would have time to ask he found that he was walking further into the ware house with the man, up some metal stairs and through a door. Walking in slowly Roxas saw the other two that were always around Saïx, his henchmen of sorts, after getting all settled in, the blondie still felt strange, scared, and awkward- not wanting to be in the room with them- he still didn't get along with any of the men, not that they hated each other, they just didn't have anything to talk about. Saïx made the younger of the stranger two to move, sitting down he patted the space next to him for Roxas to sit, which after some time he did.

They planned on using some drugs, Roxas already knew that, and he was determined to slip out while they were getting it all ready but he found that Saïx had somehow managed to snake his arm around Roxas' shoulders. Looking at the door he thought of how to get out, how to move, how to do it without getting caught right away or in trouble, but he was pulled back to what was happening when Saïx was trying to remove his hoodie, Roxas couldn't let that happen- mostly because it was Saïx, and though his ace bandage that covered his elbow would stop them from injecting him in that arm- he didn't know how Saïx would take it, the man made it clear that cutting pissed him off, "What're you hiding Roxas?" Saïx asked, his eyes narrowed to look into Roxas', though the kid was looking down and not making eye contact, "Nothing… I should get going…" he tried to move, but Saïx yanked him back down to the couch and pinned the boy against the back, staring into his eyes as he pulled off the boy's hoodie.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Saïx said, seeing the ace bandage wrapped around his elbow, he wouldn't have assumed it wasn't anything other than a sprained elbow or something but he saw the way it bulged and a piece of gauze poking out, "What did you do Roxas?" He calmly asked, Roxas pushed more against the back and tried to get away, but when he started to squirm Saïx only pinned him to the seat of the couch, making the small boy's heart race with memory and fear, he fought a little with the man till Saïx had succeeded in ripping the ace bandage off, forcing Roxas to remember that that was what was happening and it wasn't a replay of what had happened a few days ago. Pulling off the gauze Roxas actually saw- as if for the first time his injuries, it was a giant gash that stretched across the veins in his inner elbow, the area around it was a purplish red and it was bruised, he finally took stock to how cold his arm was because he had cut so deep- deeper than he had thought. He had also cut more than once, he had cut a total of about five times, he couldn't really tell, there was definitely more than one cut though, and they were all equally deep- spreading downwards towards his wrist.

Saïx was quiet for a few minutes, staring at the wounds, they would have screamed in pain if Roxas hadn't practically overdosed on pain killers, "Why did you do this?" The other two got quiet and knew they were supposed to act like they weren't even there, they were doing such a good job that Roxas had actually forgot that they were, though he still didn't answer Saïx's question, he had just started to talk to Saïx before it happened- now he felt like he couldn't talk because nothing would be correct, the right answer. "Don't," Saïx leaned closer to the boy's face, "I don't ever want to catch another cut on you- do you understand me?" Roxas sank back into the couch, trying to get away from Saïx again, but Saïx wouldn't allow it, "Do you understand me?" he stated again, looking off to the side Roxas ignored him till he felt a rough hand grab him by his chin and force him to look up at the blue haired man, Roxas took stock that the man actually seemed frightened- "This is something he doesn't like," Roxas thought to himself. It was the first thing he knew of that he could do to hurt the scarred man, and he wouldn't forget it, that's when he noticed that the man was talking to him- lecturing him, but he still didn't care to notice then he felt something press against his lips. The boy's eyes squinted shut, he felt like vomiting, even though the kiss was simple it felt like acid and disgusting, while he was focusing on getting away from the lips, knowing not to squirm anymore when he felt Saïx give a shake to his body, he pushed his head back into the sofa to try and get away. That's when he felt a familiar prick in his arm, "No," he started, speaking around the lips, finally able to use his other uninjured hand he pushed the man a few inches away- all he could really manage, "Why did you do that…" it was supposed to sound like and be a question but his words faded out as the drugs faded into his system and everything became hazy and swaying, but he tried to keep a straight head, trying to get away and succeeding far better than the first time he ever tried weeks before. Pushing against the man's chest, Roxas was able to push the blue haired away, then trying to stand up to walk home- or at least to a cab, but he couldn't even get in a position to stand up. Only able to roll the upper half of him off the couch since Saïx was pinning the other half down, Roxas tried to push against the floor- his senses all active and revealing in the feelings- his resolve to get away was being blocked by his mind thinking other things were more important. Trying to pull away- Roxas was fighting with himself, his mind was lolly gagging around while his heart was telling him to run and flee- isn't the heart normally stupid while the mind is brilliant? Apparently not, pressing his forehead against the rough carpet Roxas tried to pull his muscles so he could slide out from under the man but he couldn't concentrate enough and the muscles wouldn't react so instead the boy decided to slip out of it and stop caring.

There was a comforting voice and Roxas wanted to swim in it- though the thought never crossed his mind of how that could ever be possible, he felt a constant pattern of warm air blowing onto his cheek and he didn't care if he ever left the state he was in- though, again, he didn't think that. An annoying tapping kept hitting his nose, it was random but Roxas tried to ignore it; trying to remain in his state through it, but it continued and he was brought closer to a surface that allowed him to have more feelings. Feeling warmth on his stomach and side he was even more comfortable, but the tapping continued and his muscles finally felt present- like he was remembering he had them though still, no thoughts passed through his head. Nuzzling his face into whatever the warm being was in front of him, he heard the pattern of noise and air change a little, then he felt something to his back- on his head ruffling his hair gently, it felt comforting but yet it was drawing him more and more aware of his surroundings.

Realizing that the noise he was hearing was a voice speaking words his mind slowly began to listen to the words- all of it was pure instinct as the child was still in a sleeping state. Roxas finally had an aware feeling- like for example he knew where his legs were though they weren't moving; his whole body was present to him and he was finally making connections, though ever so slowly and ever so vague. Something soft rolled onto his back- so he thought, the warmth stayed above him but shifted a little, the annoying tapping returned to his nose and the noise became slower and slower, his body remembering he had eyes- one of them popped open slowly, seeing a bright green, pale color, and red, he stared unknowingly into the face of Axel. Taking a few minutes for him to fully register the common knowledge, his other eye had popped open and he realized he was smiling at the also smiling Axel, "Hey Sleeping Beauty," the voice was the one the boy had been hearing the entire time but this time he actually heard and comprehended the words, the smile on his face tweaked a little bigger.

"Axel," the child began, his smile still on his face, he realized that he was now pinned playfully on his back to the bed- and though the man outweighed Roxas- the boy felt weightless beneath him. "Where…" he began to ask, not knowing where they were or how they got there, Axel began laughing gently, "My place," when the child when to ask a question yet again- though it was about the time, "It's twelve… p.m.," Kissing the boys forehead the redhead went to stand but found a hand holding weakly onto his arm, not allowing him to go anywhere, a smile still on the boys face. Lying next to the smaller boy he pulled him over so they were in the same position that they had slept in, Axel laying on his back with Roxas curled to the redhead's side. Cloud crossed Roxas' mind but he couldn't have cared less when he was cuddling with the redhead, "What happened?" he finally asked, not wanting to ruin the moment but his curiosity was getting the better of him. "I didn't know where you were… so I went looking for you and I found you down on the South side… stumbling around- I was worried, I pulled over and talked you into getting into the car… You passed out but when I asked if you wanted to go home you made it clear that you didn't want to.

"Now, how about some food?" his voice was calming though he was moving away towards- what only Roxas could think of was- the kitchen, sitting up the blond got a little light headed, like he took to many pain killers again, "I'm not really hungry though…" Axel only smiled and threw a pillow at the boy, "Too bad shorty- believe it or not, humans actually need food to survive, so eating something isn't going to kill you," throwing his arms in the air like the conversation was getting no where, Roxas laid down on the bed, while still softly falling back Axel heard the small boy say, "Yes it will," Instantly the worried older boy was on top of the skin and bone child, he knew Roxas was only kidding when he said it but it made the older man worry. "Please don't say that," staring into the teal eyes, Axel could see his own green ones, Roxas looked sadder by Axel's come back than Axel would ever hope to see the boy like again. Pressing his lips softly against the boy, he took stock to how- at first, the child resisted a little more than normal, but that only seemed to increase as everything went on, pulling away slowly he looked back at into the boys eyes, he looked genuinely scared, "Roxas… are you… are you okay with all this?"

"Yeah," it was one of the quickest times Roxas had responded to a question, he knew he loved Axel.. He just couldn't say it yet, with everything happening with Saïx just made it all the harder, but he definitely knew that he loved the redhead, his body tingled when the redhead just looked at him, let alone when they were skin to skin. Roxas didn't think that he could ever willingly be completely naked around anyone- for the simple fact that well… he was embarrassed, "I wanna move in with you…" it was out of no where and caught the older one off guard, though it was surprising it put a smile on his face, kissing the boy he rolled next to him, pulling him closer. "He wont let you…" "He will… he just… wants me to make sure that I'm not getting into something that I shouldn't… he wants me to be open…" "Then be open," Roxas replied to that with silence, "Come on… here, tell me about yourself," again, Roxas responded with only silence. Axel realized it would be more difficult than he thought. "So… you live with Cloud, he was your therapist, how did he get custody of you, what happened to your parents?"

Silence again, so Axel narrowed the question down, "What's your mother like?" "I don't know.., I never met her…" "Then who raised you?" "My grandmother… and father…" Letting out a sigh, Roxas began to spill his story- a short version of it, "My mom was young when she had me, so she gave all rights to my father and his mother… you've already met my father, my grandmother was so sweet and nice though… he only randomly ever came around… she died when I was five and I had to stay with my father from then on." there was nothing really wrong with his story, right? that's what he kept thinking over and over, he didn't want Axel to think there was something wrong with him- he wanted to be perfect in, and only in, the redheads mind.

"I've seen your scars…" Axel murmured, Roxas was still cuddling to his side with the redhead's own hand wrapped around his shoulders, holding him gently but not wanting the kid feel like he had to run away or escape. Burying his head in Axel's side, not wanting to look at the man but not wanting to run away, though he did feel like doing that he knew that if he did he might never see the redhead again, he needed to explain and hope the man would still treat him the same. Rolling over, pinning the boy to the mattress yet again the redhead softly pushed his lips against the younger ones, he waited till the boy was no longer stiff with discomfort to deepen the kiss further, one of his hands weaved it's way into the blond locks while the other one trailed down his stomach slowly, distracting the boy from his traveling hand.

Reaching the bottom hem of the shirt, Axel softly maneuvered his hands underneath to gently reach his hands up the boys torso, the friction from skin to skin was making it a little hard to keep his restraint in order because he knew he was basically just teasing the both of them because the boy wasn't going to be comfortable going any further- _that_ the redhead knew. His mouth catching small almost inaudible moans from the smaller one, but once Roxas felt the hand on his actual skin he jumped back as far as he could but Axel acted like he didn't notice and just moved his mouth to the boys neck, he could feel the boy shaking beneath him but no longer in the way Axel would prefer. Soft pleas left Roxas' now unoccupied mouth, asking for Axel to stop, and though he didn't literally say it the redhead heard in the smaller ones voice that Roxas thought he was disgusting or something. He tried to get the hand out of his shirt but his body was some what fighting with him, wanting to be around Axel and have that kind of contact but also not wanting to ruin everything.

Once Roxas was close to success, Axel pulled his hand out of the shirt, placing his hand on the shaking boys cheek he kissed the other side, "Roxas… there's nothing wrong with you…" but the boy was still pushing hard against the bed to get away from the man on top of him, almost having a panic attack when he took notice to what he had just done and what he was doing, and after Saïx he knew how much it hurt and he didn't want to ever do that again. Axel felt sorry for putting the child in such distress but he wanted to prove a point to the boy, holding himself above the boy he blocked Roxas beneath him, his movements were slow but the boy still seemed shocked by it, "Roxas, look at me… please…" grabbing gently a hold of Roxas lower arms, he pinned the arms against his chest, he could see the panic in the boys eyes and felt even more guilty. "Please, Roxas… it's okay… I just wanted to show you that you're amazing… I love you Roxy." that succeeded in calming Roxas down a bit, he was able to remind himself that it was Axel and he loved him and he felt childish for how he acted, looking down he felt ashamed of how he acted, speaking in his mind that he should have known better than to think Axel would hurt him.

"I'm sorry…" Axel could see that the child was genuinely upset about it all, so he decided to laugh it off a little, "oh, really now? And how you gonna prove it to me?" smiling a shit eating grin, it almost made Roxas feel worse till he saw the white teeth smiling at him, feeling the man pull him on top of him when the Red head decided to roll over, Roxas was now pinning him and he felt safer that way. Cockier too, so he decided to pin the older one to the bed and though he wasn't sure if he would regret it or not, he placed his own lips on the redheads, catching him off guard at first but in an instant the older one was lifting into the kiss to try and deepen it and that made Roxas only smile around the lips, hearing muffled but loud moans flowing into Roxas' lips from Axel. When he slowly pulled away so they could breathe Roxas had moved Axel's hands so they were now pinned down above his head, his legs were spread to straddle the older boy but it only made Roxas smile more when he could feel Axel's hard member on his own- trying not to laugh.

"Oh what, I'm funny now?" he whispered, sitting up a bit to pull the face back to him, it was getting hotter and hotter in the room but he only wanted to get closer and closer to boy- who kept teasing him by pulling away, so, Axel rolled over to pin the boy down, but unbeknown to him they were already on the very edge of the bed. "Ah!" the word escaped both of their mouths in unison before they found themselves on the cheap carpet floor, Axel was stuck on his back again, his arms wrapped around the blond who was also laying on his back- though his head rested on the other ones chest. They were silent for a moment, Axel almost felt embarrassed but as he went to apologize to the blond he heard him snickering to himself, soon they were both bursting out laughing.

After almost an hour of laying in the same spot in silence Axel began to speak, "Roxy… I love you, you know that, right?" "Yeah," Roxas tightened his hold on Axel's hand, "And you know… I would never hurt you, right?" Roxas was quiet but he squeezed the hand again, in the months time since he met the redhead all the man was was nice to him, and he thanked the man for everything, Axel felt slightly hurt by the silence, but he couldn't force the boy to belive him he had to show him, first things first, he was going to get the food he promised the anorexic teen, sitting up he also prompt the blond up. Roxas didn't want to get up though, but when he finally was he noticed what he was wearing, "What's today?" Axel shuffled around to get a shirt out for himself, turning around with a "I'm not really sure," look on his face, sliding the shirt over his head he looked over at a calendar, "It's Tuesday," Roxas looked up with a confused and sad look on his face, "Why?" Roxas had left Sunday morning… so he had been gone for practically two days, in the same clothes, for all he knew, "Do you have anything I could borrow?" Axel looked questionably at Roxas, "like… a shirt and some pants?" "Oh, yeah, though… I don't know if I have anything that'll fit you." he looked at himself then at the smaller boy.

Digging around in his bureau, pulling out a pair of black sweat pants, the only thing wrong with them was the string was missing, and a light blue tank top that was a bit too tight on him, "Here ya go," Roxas was now off the ground and standing by the foot of the bed, arms length away from the older one. "Thanks," Looking around he tried to see if he could find a bathroom but he didn't see one and Axel was gone before he could ask, waiting a second he waited for the man to walk back in, when he didn't he began to change- his pants first, he noticed right away the marks on his ankles- they definitely weren't there before, then the bruises on his upper legs- he didn't even feel them, he didn't feel any of it. Sliding the pants up his legs gently, afraid he might feel some pain, they barely held up on his waist, when he let go they actually dropped, quickly picking them back up he rolled the band over once just to make sure they wouldn't fall down again. Taking off his hoodie he saw the ace bandage sloppily wrapped around his elbow, he quickly re-wrapped it, hoping that Axel wouldn't walk back in, when he finally got it all fixed where it looked just like a sprang he slid off his shirt as well.

This time Axel walked in though, Axel never really took stock to the scarred skin on the child, the one and only time the child didn't have a shirt on Axel was too busy worrying about if the child was going to be okay or not- and even then the only thing he could really focus on was the bruises on his hips. But now, when he walked in, Roxas' back was bare of any concealing clothing and with it being daytime the room was bright from the sun, he could see thin long strips that covered the lithe boy's back, as he stepped closer he saw smaller circular scars like they were burns from a cigar or cigarette. Feeling the boy jump as he wrapped his arms around the smaller one's waist, Roxas kept his head down but didn't pull away, he wanted Axel to see him but he was also entirely embarrassed and disgusted at himself. Rubbing his hands on the flat and soft tummy Axel wanted to show his Roxy that he wasn't put off by it and the longer he felt and saw the scars the more it revealed to him that he really loved Roxas.

A few minutes passed and Roxas was actually leaning into Axel but he caught himself before too long, "Hey… um, Axel, do you think I could put on a shirt now?" Smiling at that the redhead only leaned down to be closer to the blonds ear and held him tighter, "But I like the way you are right now," trying to hide his smile Roxas also tried to squirm his way out of the older ones hands. Instead the redhead held him tighter but the blond was persistent- and his persistent-ness pushed them both onto the bed, moving his fingers in an unintentional way- Axel heard Roxas let out a few laughs, he tried to stop but was out of breath- trying to push of the hands, instead he found his own being held inside the bigger ones, their fingers locked with Axel's palms to the back of Roxas' hands. "Oh, so my Roxy is ticklish," Laughing just from the fun he knew he would have with that he could feel the blonds face blush, going to tickle him again Roxas squirmed around even more- laughing softly but in a way that Axel almost could have assumed- but the real thing was just so much better to hear.

Finally Axel stopped, but only when they had managed to be face to face and Roxas took the chance to catch the man's lips with his own, slowly the hands left Roxas' tummy but the smiles remained on their face, till they heard a knock on the door. Axel left the bed and Roxas took the chance to slide on the shirt he had been given. A smile still present on his face, and after a few minutes when Axel hadn't returned he walked out to hear a familiar voice at the door, "Cloud?"

**Soooo… sorry for not uploading sooner- I have actually been trying xD **

**I got kinda a writers block also, I didn't really know what all to do and it just… bleh… not working out exactly right, if you have any ideas as to what should happen- comment/message/ share your almighty knowledge with me pweeeassee. Originally this chapter was only a page long, now it be four with my random babble xD imma try to upload a story everyday but if I don't, I'm sorry. **


	7. Chapter 7: The Hero Villain

The ground came racing into Roxas' face, trying to scramble up he was pushed back down towards the ground, and after a few more times he was finally able to stand on his feet and keep his balance, walking into his house- his and Cloud's, but the man that kept pushing him wasn't Cloud, it was his own father. Cloud leaned against the car with an all knowing look on his face, watching as Roxas' father pushed him into the house, when Roxas hadn't shown up like he was supposed to- only to be found at Axel's, Cloud was furious. He was so drunk he never even noticed that Roxas didn't come home till the next morning he found the boy's birth father knocking on his door, he wasn't going to let the man near Roxas but the boy didn't come home and Cloud was to drunk to care. Hearing a grunt leave the boy's mouth as his father pushed him into the house door, Roxas didn't want to open it and he didn't have to, his father kicked the door open and Roxas fell in, getting grabbed by the collar of Axel's shirt it strangled him but his father wouldn't let go, till he threw the boy against the far wall. Infuriated and above all- coming down from a high he wish he didn't have to. The main reason the father came around was to take Roxas but he wasn't where he was supposed to be and the good for nothing Cloud didn't help anything, you would think the man would keep the father of the boy that was so tormented by him away- but not when the father is also Cloud's older brother.

Of course Roxas would never know, the way everything was going got both men richer, the man able to do whatever he wanted with his son and not get in trouble, and alcohol for Cloud to suppress his screaming conscience. Slamming the door behind him, Cloud was shut out from the punishment that his older brother was going to give his nephew, it all worked appropriately legally because they were only half brothers and Sephiroth and Cloud had stopped talking while Cloud was still a teen because his brother tended to treat him just like he treated Roxas. He was more lenient with Cloud though- sharing drugs with him and everything, but he was still an over all bad person to be around- almost wrecking Cloud's life entirely. Hearing Roxas let out a few cries, he knew Sephiroth was "Being a Father Figure" to his son, something Cloud could never do right as his brother said, reaching into the car he downed another beer, trying to block out the cries of the boy.

Cloud knew how it felt to be treated like Roxas was- for the most part, he had suffered just like that as a child, getting beaten by his own father like Roxas and being sold for drugs by his older brother just like Roxas, he would never tell the boy though. He knew the boy hated him and he hated the boy because of it, he drank more and tried to tell himself more and more that he really hated the blond. Though when he was with Tifa and the boy everything was perfect, Roxas thought he drank because Tifa died- which drinking did help that, it was actually because he was given his nephew as a client unbeknown at first but when he found out that his brother was actually looking for him it scared him and he started to drink. Not as bad as now though, he had never hit Tifa or Roxas then but now he often pushed the boy around and sometimes he scratched or threw something at the boy, but he only did it because he thought the boy truly hated him. Finally the screams from inside the house ended, or maybe he just couldn't hear them anymore. Few more alcoholic beverages later Sephiroth walked out, a cut on the bridge of his nose like he got hit in it, looking down Cloud saw the limp boy being dragged by his father, getting thrown into the back seat he let out a groan and tried to sit up to get out but his father caught him and pointed in his face, telling him something that was blurred in Clouds drunken mind, feeling a tap on his shoulders he slid over to the passenger seat.

Falling asleep for most of the ride, Cloud was told to stop drinking by his brother and not wanting to piss his brother off he stopped. While Cloud served in the army for a short while, so did his brother- in fact, his brother had spent more time in the army than Cloud himself so it was a strong factor that didn't matter. Pulling onto a new street Cloud heard Roxas in the back seat, "Fuck, let me out!" only looking into the rearview mirror, Sephiroth didn't comply, Cloud could almost feel the panic in the boy but he tried to act like he didn't care, sliding into his seat more, he really did feel bad for the kid but him stepping in wouldn't get either of them anywhere because his brother would just come back after them. Banging on the window and door, Sephiroth finally had enough and slammed on his brakes, yelling something at the child that Cloud did his best to block out, the only person who ever protected him was his older brother and that just made him a timid person.

Pulling into what used to be a trailer park, but was now pretty much just a junk yard, they drove all the way to the back and parked out back of a blue trailer- it looked like a crack den. Sitting almost completely unaware, Cloud was only brought out of his stupor when he heard Roxas give out another grunt, looking back he saw the boys face wasn't really all that bruised, mostly his arms and probably his stomach. Sinking further down into the seat, Cloud wanted nothing to do with what he knew was going to happen to the boy, it was practically like watching it all happen to himself again, "Cloud!" but Sephiroth wouldn't allow him to just sit in the car, after a few more yells he managed to get Cloud out of the car. Roxas was terrified, he hoped that Cloud would help him- when he first met the man Cloud promised to never let anything happen to him like that again and yet here he was, not doing anything. Looking everywhere but at Cloud or his father he hated himself, for living the life he found himself in, he must have done something wrong, it had to be his fault, he knew what was going to happen once he got inside and he did everything he could with his sore body to get away from it.

Sitting inside, Roxas was thrown down on a sofa and Cloud was told to watch him, it was something Sephiroth enjoyed doing, by saying that, Roxas wouldn't get up because he would be afraid of Cloud- ultimately making the boy fear Cloud more and Cloud would be to scared to do otherwise and would sit quiet just like Roxas. Going into another room to talk, Roxas kept his eyes low, not wanting to get anyone's attention though Cloud still watched him intently, he heard his father say his name and he heard the way the other person replied- it disgusted him. Sephiroth always took the money in advance because it bothered him that doing this hurt him, he hated that he felt sorry for his own son, so while his son was doing whatever the men wanted he would be tripping on drugs, though the guilt didn't bother him all that much or he would never do it again. He made sure that they never actually did too much to his Roxas, he wasn't that much of a bad father- so he thought.

Dragging Roxas back by his hair, he threw him into the room, slammed the door shut and sat next to Cloud to start the drugs, he knew Cloud wouldn't want to, but that was okay because he was going to force the man, soon a scream could be heard from the room, only giving it one look they both went back to the drugs. Cloud wouldn't last long hearing those screams and soon he would be begging for the drugs because he had no more alcohol to down, this was nothing hardcore to what Sephiroth normally did, but it was right for the moment. Watching the men across the coffee table spray some weed then continue to roll it up, Sephiroth would be set for a week with what he gave, taking the first hit, the man passed it to Sephiroth who was ready to take it, but he wanted to make sure Cloud got a hit and if needed he would persuade the man. In an attempt to hand it to Cloud, Cloud shook his head, "No, I don't do that shit…" "Oh shut up, fuck, we both know you do," they were silent for a second, a second loud enough to hear Roxas argue with the man in the other room, and with a disgusted look from Cloud he hesitantly took the weed.

Knowing that it wasn't just simple weed but weed laced in PCP, it was like he was hit by a shovel when Cloud took his hit, not used to it anymore, but he kept it all under control, the screams from Roxas faded away and he found himself no longer caring about anything. Soon everything faded into a swirl and he couldn't care about anything at all, he laid back and reveled in the feeling and at some point everyone was asleep. Roxas would get no sleep though, his heart raced for the entire night, mostly from fear but also because the man that was in front of him was a very picky man and made Roxas do things he hated, finally he faked being asleep- ordered to sleep next to the man, but he couldn't, when the man began to snore, Roxas found his discarded clothes and made sure he was all together. Axel wouldn't want his clothes back now, the shirt was ripped and covered in blood, and the pants were cover in God only knows what, feeling his phone go off he looked at it, answering imminently, "Roxas, be here in an hour," before Roxas could say anything the man hung up again as quickly as he had called.

Sitting in the corner Roxas didn't know what to do, he was terrified to go out into the other room because they all knew he was supposed to stay in the room with the man, the soul window in the room had screws that prevented anyone from leaving unless they smashed through, and he could risk getting caught. Staring at his phone he was actually begging for Saïx to call him back, and only when an hour was up did he phone go off again, "Roxas, I told you to be here in an hour, and that hour is up," there was a silence, Roxas didn't know how to act, did he want to tell the man or did he want to just stay hidden away, the man shifted on the bed and Saïx began to speak very loudly into the phone. "Shhh…" Roxas finally said, technically to both men, cooing to one and telling the other to shut up, "What," Saïx was taken aback by Roxas' voice, "You're going to wake him up…" Roxas finally whispered, "Who up?" Saïx was intrigued on the other side of the phone and though Roxas couldn't see the man had held up his hand to silence all the other men around him, also gaining all of their attentions in the process. "I don't know his name…" "Are you in some kinda trouble Roxas?" "I'm… I don't know… I'm stuck… I don't know where I am," Saïx could hear the panic setting into the boy, "Just tell me what happened," Feeling a tear on its way to run down his face, Roxas quickly wiped it away, he hated that the only person he could go to for help in the very instant was a man who had raped him and fucked up his life even more.

"Do you want me to come get you?" Saïx was being utterly serious, he was genuinely pissed off that something was happening to his Roxas, there was a silence for a few seconds, and Roxas finally forced out the word when he saw what time it was and the thought of everyone else in the house, "Yes…" Roxas could hear Saïx moving around on the other side, the man was grabbing his keys and walking out the door, two of his men following him, "Just leave the phone on, hide it if you have to," hooking the phone up to a GPS and having one of his cronies enter a few codes in, he saw the address of where his Roxas was, speeding all the way there. Sliding the phone behind a stand, upside down to hide the light, Roxas was shaking even more, what would happen when Saïx showed up, what if it just made everything worse, what if Saïx was friends with this guy and what if he also gave Roxas back over to the man, Roxas was so unsure. Crunched into a ball, Roxas tried to be as quiet as possible and mumbled to himself over and over again to calm down. His stomach hurt from his father kicking him, his arms hurt from his father and the man squeezing his arms. His face also now hurt because the man had both slapped and punched it a few times, getting blood from his lip and cheek, but the pain was something Roxas could deal with, what he couldn't deal with was the pain he felt inside, he wanted to rip his hair out but in the attempt he heard a car pull up.

Staying crouched down, Roxas actually wished for the first time that it was Saïx, but he wasn't sure, so he stayed sitting down, stayed still- holding his breath, he didn't hear anyone talking, he didn't hear anyone moving but suddenly the door opened in front of him, looking up he saw the outline of blue hair and instantly knew it was Saïx. The phone returned to his pocket, Saïx helped Roxas up and they creeped out of the house, looking over he saw his father passed out on the couch with Cloud next to him, the other two men in the room he didn't know. Something caught hold of his leg as he walked by, his heart skipped a beat, he jumped around to see his father grabbing on to his leg, an angry look on his face, but Saïx was behind Roxas in an instant, "Roxas! Where do you think you're going?" his voice was quiet but not out of respect but because he was still half asleep and still doped up on drugs. "Who is this man Roxas?" Saïx asked, he was pressed up against Roxas' back now, the boy stuck between two of the men he hated on the earth, Roxas didn't respond, Saïx quickly pulled Roxas away, but yet again when they got outside a man stopped them, this time, it was Cloud, "Roxas," he stumbled a bit, "he's going to be pissed when he finds out you left," he fell into the grass before his words could sink in and he was out cold.

Saïx asked again who the man was, Roxas stayed starring at Cloud not saying anything, he was terrified to leave because he knew how it would all go over later, and he didn't want to deal with that, Saïx pulled him away gently and sat him in the back seat, now his body was throbbing and everything hurt, leaning his head against the glass and door he wanted to fall asleep, Saïx kept looking back at him as if to check and see if he was okay. Maybe he had a concussion? After all the man had slammed his head against an oak stand but he didn't have a headache at the moment, he let sleep talk him, only waking up briefly when the man next to him laid a hoodie on him, he heard some talking but blocked most of it out. Worried that his Roxas might die, Saïx tried to keep his mind clear that the boy was going to be okay, when they finally pulled up to the familiar warehouse, he opened Roxas' door to find the boy fast asleep, not wanting to wake the boy up, Saïx just carried to sleeping boy into the warehouse, laying him on a couch as he sat in the occupying chair.

Finally the boy woke up, though when he did he let out a groan of pain, he sat up, Saïx had taken full stock of his injuries while he was sleeping, not wanting to freak him out while he was awake, Roxas face was swollen a bit from being hit, his stomach was covered in bruises along with his back and anyone who ever had the shit beaten out of them- always knows it hurts way worse the second day, "Hey…" Saïx mumbled wanting the boy to know he wasn't alone, though Roxas wouldn't mind if he was. Roxas stayed silent and Saïx understood. Some time passed and Roxas found himself huddled up at one end of the couch, his knees brought up to his face- though it hurt his back, and his arms wrapped around the top of his knees to hide his face, he didn't know what to do now. "Why were you there Roxas?" the man finally asked, he didn't know whether to be mad at the child for doing that to himself or be mad at someone else for forcing his Roxas into it.

Instead of words, Roxas just looked away, just because the man saved him didn't mean that he like the man, but said man just moved onto the couch and sat next to the boy looking at him, "I didn't want to be…" Roxas finally muttered, Saïx practically let out a sigh of relief that his Roxas didn't willingly go there, "Then why were you?" his voice came out a bit harsher than he intended but the boy took it as a hint and huddled away as much as he could, after Saïx insinuating the question a few more times he asked the right question, "Who dragged you there?" "…my father…" Roxas had his forehead pressed and pinned against and between his knees, his arms at his sides, he didn't have the energy to hold them up and all he could smell was the other man. Looking at his hand all he could remember was what he had done and it made him feel sick, he was so disgusted in everyone but mostly himself, he felt water weld up in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away, he couldn't cry- that would get him nowhere.

Not thinking everything through, Saïx pulled Roxas over to him, but the boy quickly went rigid in his arms and somehow pulled himself back away from the man, Saïx seemed actually hurt by that action. Looking away Roxas was terrified by how the man would act, but the man only pulled him back once again, this time Roxas' back was pressed against Saïx's side and Saïx's arm was looped across his chest, holding him tightly. "Roxas, I'm not like them…" Saïx tried to coo Roxas, but Roxas just felt disgusted, "No… you're worse…" Feeling Saïx jump, Roxas didn't care if the man did anything to him, he was already dead inside, nothing matter- especially in that moment, "I wouldn't sell you for drugs Roxas," he said very clearly, enunciating every word clearly, Roxas wanted to say something back- to prove him wrong in some way, or prove him worse, but he couldn't… the man so far hadn't… "Doesn't make you any better…" he finally said, Saïx was somewhat hurt by the words Roxas was saying.

"Fuck," Roxas mumbled out, the man only held him tighter and kissed the top of his head, he felt tears in his eyes again, remembering everything but also thinking that this man was technically better than his own father… his father had hurt him ten times the amount Saïx had. Burning from the man's touch, mostly in hate, Roxas tried to get free of the man, he was going to run and he wasn't going to stop till he couldn't breathe anymore and he wouldn't have to worry about anyone looking for him because no one really cared about him- at least how he saw it. What was at first only small movements was now a full on struggle, he had to do something or the dam inside of him would break, but Saïx just held him tighter and moved with the boy when he could keep a solid grip. "Let me go…" Roxas choked out, Saïx could hear the boy was on the verge of tears, and he was going to hold the boy like he had the last time he cried, face down on the dirt and dust cement floor, Roxas finally broke, he was out of energy because everything hurt and he couldn't mend his dam and fight- he tried to keep fighting though, pushing his forehead against the concrete floor in an attempt to push his body up, the tears flowed down.

Sick and tired of everything, Roxas couldn't hold it back- he hated crying, so he never cried, but when he was being held still like this it was the only thing he could do to not go insane. Saïx softly loosened his hold on the child so the rest of his body didn't slam into the concrete and hurt it more than it already did, but Roxas couldn't have cared less, he still weakly struggled to get away but the man practically had him in a giant bear hug, kneeling next to him, holding his mid section off the ground because of the position they were in, Roxas tried to force the tears back but that only made more come out, "Please… let me go…" though he knew it didn't really matter because he was already bawling his eyes out, he couldn't think straight, he couldn't even breathe right- his breath coming and going in uneven erratic gasps.

Unable to do anything to stop his crying he tried to push it out through pain, wanting to cut so deep that maybe he could just bleed out his entire being and not have to deal with anything, but he couldn't- not with Saïx holding him the way he was. "Let go!" he choked out again, and again Saïx didn't answer and didn't comply, only having one hand free, he tried to use it to pry off the arms now, but that didn't get him anywhere. Instead, he used his fist and started to punch the floor, begging with the man to let go, "Roxas, stop that," but Saïx's words went unheard, Roxas just punched harder and harder till his tears were no more and his fist was bloody, even then he didn't stop. Not until Saïx moved a bit and had both hands pinned to the boy's sides, that's when they both noticed how much Roxas' body was shaking, though of course- Roxas didn't care, "When was the last time you took those pills," Roxas didn't answer, but it made since as to why his body was acting the way it was all day. He was sweating an awful lot and his heart raced but he thought it was just from fear, his body also kept shaking but he thought that was from fear- but now it had become much worse.

Feeling sick all day, he thought it was just from being hit in the stomach- he just blamed everything on the fear and the pain, he never thought he might have been suffering withdrawal, but he was and it could turn very bad very soon for him. Flipping the boy over, Saïx looked at the boy's face, who was till struggling with him, he knew that when you stopped like Roxas had- you snap back like a rubber band and need it more than you would normally at first. Literally picking the boy up, he carried the struggling boy up some stairs, throwing him on a bed- instant memories of what had happened the last time he was on that bed reappeared in his mind, he felt like he was going to be sick- from everything added together. Saïx yelled to one of his cronies while sitting on the bed next to Roxas. Who had managed to turn on his side in an attempt at getting away, but Saïx kept his hold on his upper arms which limited his movements, there was nothing that he could do- there was nothing Roxas could do to get away, he was on the verge of tears again.

Pinning the boy down, Saïx sat on top of him, successfully distracting the teen from the crony entering with the needle, holding his arms down tight, tighter on one side than the other- his hand was practically the tourniquet, "Roxas!" Roxas stopped moving for a slip second, which was enough time for the man to push the needle through the skin and inject the warm poison into his bloodstream. "Why'd you do that?" it was meant to sound angry, but from Roxas it only sounded like a cry- his mouth started to become dry and he was running out of energy, slowly lifting his hands off the arms of the boy, Saïx placed his hands on the side of his face, watching in fascination as the eyes became glazed over and the pupils dilated, soon Roxas' voice faded out, slurring, and he was just blank, his arms stayed down- because like always his arms and legs felt like they weighted more than he could lift. "It's alright Roxas," Saïx whispered, watching the body completely relax beneath him, the boy's mouth had fallen open- loosing energy while in the middle of a sentence, taking a second before continuing, "Why'd you do that?" he forced strength into his tone, but it still sounded slurred and his muscles were fighting with him a bit.

"You needed it, you were suffering withdrawal," "You should've let me die…" Roxas closed his eyes, not having any more energy to keep them open and really not caring if anything happened to him- it's not like it would change him any, he was already completely fucked up in his mind. The weight left him, opening his eyes just to see what happened, Saïx stood next to the bed, when he started to walk away Roxas tried to roll off the bed, tried to run away- he could still end it all. But his legs and arms didn't agree with him and instead fought with him, maybe the fall off the bed would kill him- if he landed headfirst, he thought, but he was unable to when he felt something be placed on his shoulders. At some point his eyes had closed yet again but he only opened them when he heard a clicking noise, opening his eyes he looked to see that Saïx was handcuffing his wrist to the bed, he pulled weakly against it but even if he wasn't tripping it's not like he could break it.

Although he was now chain by left hand and right foot to a bed, the same bed he was raped in, with the man who had done it- he didn't care, he still tried to roll away though, still tried to make an attempt to get away- to do something, "I don't ever want to hear that from you again," Saïx said as he sat down on the bed next to the blond, hydrogen peroxide in hand with cotton balls and some gauze squeezed in along with it. Grabbing the hand of the boy, he looked at the blood that had oozed down his fingers and shot up his hand from force, his knuckles were scrapped raw, already swollen, and already bruised, the hand didn't flinch away when he tipped some peroxide onto it, his Roxas was covered in bruises and it enraged Saïx to see them. Cleaning the hand off took only a few gentle minutes, and after he was down with it, he moved onto another part of the boy's body, his chest, cutting the shirt, Roxas mumbled out a few words as if trying to get Saïx to stop, but the man just ignored the little drugged boy, continuing on with his own actions , the stomach of the boy was flat of all muscle, like always, but it was thinner than he remembered, the bones stuck out more clearly.

Before when his hands were chained above his head, his ribs stuck out but not as much as this time with the one hand tied up, his hips were even more protruding but when Saïx looked at the bruises more closely instead of the boy's bones he saw the dark bruises were probably from someone kicking him, wiping off excess blood, he found were the blood was coming from. There was bite marks on the boy's chests, tear marks with them like he wiggled around and tried to get away while the person had his teeth in him, wiping them off, Roxas tried to move away but didn't get very far before his body stopped- before the restraints could act in. so he took off the one on the boy's wrist. Rolling the boy over onto his stomach, moving his head so he wouldn't suffocate in the bed, he removed the shirt and looked at the back, his neck had claw marks in it along with a few on his back, but mostly everything was hidden in the blue, black, and purple mess.

At some point Roxas was back on his back and his hands were both hooked up, Saïx had taken the chance while the boy was on his stomach to see if the boy was full on raped or just forced into other stuff- to his joy, he wasn't. At an attempt to yell at the man, Saïx rolled the boy over onto his back, now, Saïx was straddling the boy's hips and going after his face with the peroxide, Roxas tried to move away, the drugs starting to wear off enough for him to have movement with his body. "Hold still," Roxas did, with a pout on his face, Saïx adored it, leaning down he pressed his lips against the dry ones below, Roxas tried to move away, using all of his drug free strength he had, but he didn't have very much, he was still tripping, far more than he would let on. Licking at his lips, Roxas' first reaction was to open his mouth, so he did- not having any sane part left of him really to tell him, "No," Saïx smiled at the movement but loved it, he started to slide his body up and down, rocking his hips- all natural reactions for him to do when he's making out with someone.

Moving so his knee was between the boy's knees, one hand slid up his chest while the other slid to rub his inner upper thigh, rocking his hardening member against the boy's leg, he heard the boy let out a whimper, Roxas didn't want this- he didn't want any of it, but Saïx continued. In an attempt to stop the hand, Roxas pushed his knees together, not knowing that Saïx had his leg there, instead of getting rid of the hand he pushed the knee into his own cock, a soft groan raising in his throat, Saïx literally stopped to stare at the boy. Looking down he saw the teal eyes halfway open, a blush across his face- not of choice though, his mouth open a bit and now covered in saliva- most of it was Saïx's own. A small laugh left his mouth while he made his way to devour the boy's lips again, Saïx wanted to hear more from the boy- loving the sound, but the drug was wearing off with every second and Roxas was able to shake his head, hearing a knock on the door Saïx cursed.

Roxas couldn't have cared less, but the point was- Saïx had to leave, so he unchained the boy's wrists and leg, checking out the body on the way, he was pissed that he had to leave but Roxas was relieved. Finding his way out as fast as he could, he was still a bit groggy from the drugs but he walked anyway, as to where, he didn't know. Finding himself at Axel's he knocked on the door, the only things he had on were a cut and bloody tank top, too big sweats, and an ace bandage- he didn't know when he lost his shoes, but they were mostly holes anyway so it's not like it mattered. No one answered, he knocked again, "Axeeellll?" Roxas tried for a few minutes, when he got no answer he looked to find his car wasn't even there- he probably should've checked that first, the only other place he had to go was either his house with Cloud, or back to Saïx. He would have to go back to the house- it was the only sane choice, he slowly began his walk home.

Not seeing any cars outside, he went around back to climb in through his window- but for some reason it was now locked, that was strange, he walked back around the front and hoped that no one was inside and if anyone was they weren't mad or they were too drunk to coordinate correctly. Slowly turning the knob Roxas noticed the house was pretty dark considering it was still day, creeping inside he made his way to his bedroom, but out of nowhere he felt something push his back and he fell into the wall. "What the fuck," his words were cut off when he felt someone grab him by his collar- pulling him up, Roxas eyes squinted shut- afraid of the pain he knew was going to come. "Where the FUCK did you go!" Peeling open one eye, Roxas looked at the man, his father, yelling in his face, holding him up by the collar still and now shaking him for a response, "I left!" Giving a smart ass answer was the only thing he could think of, he was in a mood were he didn't give a shit, but he couldn't say that he had a heroine addict came and took him away, you know the same one that raped him- that would get him nowhere.

His father dropped him harshly to the ground, Cloud was sitting on the couch, he also got punched for waking up to find the kid gone and yelled at because he was found passed out outside face down in the dirt, Cloud looked like shit. Roxas didn't pay too much attention to Cloud though, not if he wanted to stay alive, right when he went to look back at the man he found that his father was still pissed. Bringing his foot up to kick across Roxas' face, sending the boy flying to the side, his vision blurred and blacked out for a few seconds, blood flowed into his mouth and down out of his mouth, he couldn't get his mind together before he was picked back up and thrown across the room yet again. There was something murmured from Cloud but Roxas couldn't make out the words, he could make out the words Sephiroth said back though, "Shut the fuck up Cloud," that was last either of them heard from Cloud, that was the last thing Roxas heard from anyone. Getting thrown onto his back he laid, struggling to breathe, just wishing for the end- wanting everything to stop hurting, stop haunting him, to be quiet again, and all the pain to just go away, he heard something crack and then he got just that.

"Sephiroth," Cloud spoke again, and his brother went to yell at him, but when he saw the look on his brother's face, he looked down at his son, he had stomped on his son's chest, Cloud could hear his ribs and chest plate cracking from across the room. Kneeling down, Sephiroth checked for a pulse, noticing for the first time the blood that was washed all over his sons face, the pulse was almost non-existent, he had to move soon or the boy would die, picking up the boy he yelled at Cloud to open the door. Running out more blood bubbled from Roxas' lips, his head lolled back and forth, Sephiroth looked down to see Roxas trying to cough- trying to get rid of the blood that was building up in his throat but he couldn't, instead the blood just oozed out. Jumping into the driver's seat Sephiroth slammed on the gas, Cloud sat backwards in the passenger seat, his hand on Roxas- holding the tiny boy that was laying in the backseat, a few whimpers left him but other than that he was almost completely unresponsive, his body kept getting colder and colder.

Pulling up to the hospital, Cloud ran in, his hands covered in blood, yelling that he needed a doctor, a few second behind him, Sephiroth was quickly walking in, Roxas in hand, his head turned inward, blood oozed out of his mouth onto his father's shirt. Getting a gurney, Roxas was laid on it and his father cupped his face in his hands, searching his eyes, like he was going to say something to his son but all he could do was look from one eye to the other, to the blood on his face to the bruises, and the whole cycle over again, he didn't know what to say. The nurses pulled him off and soon Roxas was rolling past a pair of double doors and away from sight, Cloud sat down with a chart, filling it out, Sephiroth sat down next to him, he'd never seen a chart like that before and when he tried to look over Cloud responded to him with a cold shoulder, "You better leave, you're not legally allowed to see Roxas." taken aback by the coldness of his brother, Sephiroth saw the point, letting out a sigh he stood up, leaving without a good bye, the nurses looks made it clear that Roxas wasn't going to survive. He'd just killed his son, once out of the sight of the distressed Cloud, he stomped down the hall- pushing everyone out of his way, "He's my son, he isn't supposed to be able to die! He's not allowed to die!" he swore in his mind over and over again, he would find some drugs and wash away all of his own feelings till he killed them all.

**How much of a bitch would I be if I just ended the series right here? Lol, I'm not that mean… maybe xD**

**I'm certainly mean to Roxas, I know, but I love the kid sooooo much xD I don't know if he's going to survive though- I have two ways this could all pan out, and yes, in one way- he dies. *gasp* **


	8. Chapter 8: Truth

Axel found out the hard way about what had happened to Roxas, watching the news during his break he saw that a boy was hurt in an accident, his name Roxas- at that Axel almost couldn't stand, they couldn't have meant his Roxy, but the more details they gave the more he knew it was. Almost everyone at his work knew Roxy, not in person obviously, some of them had known Axel when he was younger and they were all curious as to why the sudden change in Axel, and he told them it was all because of the kid. The boss was a hardass, but she nodded that Axel could go, as quickly as possible he drove to the hospital, running through to ask one of the nurses if Roxas was there, the first hospital he tried didn't have him, the second one did though. He knew before he even got to the desk, because he saw Cloud standing in the waiting room, pacing around, "What the hell happened?" practically jumping at Axel's voice, having not talked to anyone other than the nurse a few hours before, Cloud was a bit off in his own world. "Roxas got in a car accident…" Grabbing Cloud by the collar of his shirt, Axel lifted him up, looking into his eyes, "Don't give me that bull," he noticed that Cloud's face was swollen and he had a black eye, Cloud stayed quiet and continued on like Axel wasn't even there.

Staying quiet after that, Cloud wouldn't tell Axel anything and Axel was left completely in the dark, but they shared the waiting room, waiting for the nurse to come out and say Roxas was dead, or what they both hoped for, Roxas was alive. Cloud didn't know what to say, he hated that he let the child be hurt so badly- he just hated himself and he could never explain what he felt to anyone- less they even believed him in the end. Minutes passed, hours passed, and finally a doctor came out, asking for Roxas' family, seeing as how they were the only two in the room and they were in a hurry there wasn't much question, "The sternum is attached to the rib's by the ribs one through seven, costal cartilage and a true synovial joint are what connects the two- there was such sudden force on Roxas' chest that it caused the cartilage to break and the joint to break," "We don't need a science lesson…" Axel muttered, the doctor nodded his apologies, "His lung collapsed because of the broken ribs- we had to insert a tube between his ribs into the space around the lung," "Is he going to be okay?" "So far… yes." Axel felt a smile spread on his face, "He'll have to remain in the hospital _at least _till his lung is fully functioning again," "Can we see him?" The doctor had a smile on his face now, "Of course, but he is extremely weak, in and out of consciousness, so your visit must be non stressful- he isn't in the clear just yet."

Axel's heart broke when he saw his Roxas in the intensive care unit, tucked under a thin light blue crocheted blanket, Axel was quick to be right by him but he wasn't ready to see the full extent of his injuries. The boy didn't have a shirt on because the bandages and brace wrapped around him bulged too much and covered his chest and stomach either way, there was a big tube bulging under the blanket and flowing around to the edge of the bed up to some type of machine. Roxas' face was covered in cuts and bruises but it was Roxy, Axel slipped his hand into the boy's bruised and swollen one, tears on the threat of brimming his eyes. Questions running through his head of- "What if Roxas dies? I'll never be able to annoy him till he wakes up, wrap my arms around his frail body… I'll have no one to live for… if I can't ever see his smile again- I'd…" he shook the voices out of his head, noticing then an eye slowly opening, "Hey Roxy," he placed his hand on the cold boy's cheek, he noticed the lips twitch a, hearing a soft sound come out- knowing he was trying to say, "Axel?" "Yeah… You're going to be okay…"

Roxas felt a soaring pain rip through his chest, he wanted to cough it out, wanted to move to get rid of it- but his muscles hurt and his bones felt frail, closing his mouth he tried to get moister back in it so he could speak, but the pain was spreading all over his body and he felt like he was going to go mad from it. "Are you in pain?" Axel finally asked, watching the boy's eyes squint shut and his head barely tip from side to side, Roxas tried to speak but was only able to mouth the word, "Yes," "I'll get the doctor to fix it," Axel didn't want to leave, but after a few seconds he forced himself to go and find the doctor, he didn't know but as he walked out, Cloud walked in, "Roxas…" he said while still standing by the door, didn't know what to say- he wanted to say something, he just didn't know how or what to. Creeping closer, he examined his broken nephew but he couldn't- he couldn't sit there and look at the result of what had happened because he couldn't stand up to protect the only one he promised himself and Tifa he always would. Axel would be back- so Cloud left, knowing Roxas would be in good hands.

Finding the doctor he brought him back to the room, turning the IV drop, he explained that they had to keep in a little pain before he was fully awake- to make sure he would wake up again, thrilled after a few minutes when Roxas looked peaceful- no longer in pain. Holding Roxas' hand the entire time, Axel stood over the boy, smiling when he woke up- talking to him, till Roxas slipped back into unconsciousness, longing for the boy to wake up again. Glazed over teal eyes opened slowly again, but this time Axel was speaking to a nurse- he was furious that they expected him to just leave Roxas alone in his room all night- the nurse tried to explain but Axel didn't want to hear, "Listen, I know it's hard to leave a love one here, but there is only allowed to be patients here at night- we can take better care of him when the hospital has left people, you can come back in the morning and stay but you are not allowed to stay here all night." Axel went to argue but he didn't want to get kicked out, "Alright… just give us a few minutes," the nurse nodded and left the room, "Axel?" Hearing Roxy's voice lit up Axel's face, "Hey baby," he leaned down to kiss the boy's forehead, Roxas didn't want Axel to leave, he was afraid to be in the room by himself, "Don't go…" pulling on Axel's heart strings he rubbed the boy's cheek, "I have to, I'll be back first thing in the morning- I promise," Roxas looked disappointed but there wasn't anything Axel could do unless he wanted to spend the night in a prison cell- at least this way he could see the boy all day the next day. "I love you Roxas," he kissed the boy's lips, "Please… don't…" he tried to hold on to the hand but he couldn't even move to grab it, "I'll see you tomorrow," Roxas wanted to beg him to stay, he loved the warmth in the room when Axel was around, he was scared.

Axel left the room as slowly as he could, speed walking to his car so he wouldn't turn back, with no one there Roxas was in and out of sleep- only waking up when the nurses had to check on him, the nurse was nice, she constantly talked, making the room feel less cold- she talked enough for both of them. Nightmares about what could happen to Roxy while he wasn't there made it very hard for Axel to stay asleep, but finally morning came, having already called in for work he made his way to the hospital yet again. When Axel got there he found Roxas halfway awake- his eyes shooting open when he saw the redhead walk in, "Roxy, how're you doing?" Roxas smiled his response, still a bit to weak to talk, he could finally move one of his hands though it hurt his side to do so, he moved it out a little- positioning it for Axel to hold. Smiling he took the hand and placed a kiss on the boy's forehead, "I'll be here all day… try to rest up," Axel tried to speak in a happy tone but there was still a darkness that was brewing in the back of his mind. His mother never cared for him till one day she just woke up and decided to be an actual mother- and it was perfect, just like his love with Roxy, but he watched as his mother sat in a hospital bed much like Roxas. She got really bad then looked like she was going to make it, feeling as good as to sit up in bed and talk and eat, and then just a few days later she died, ripping out his heart. What if that's how it would go with Roxas, what if this was all just his last leg and he would be gone in a few days just like her?

Roxas was in and out of sleep, feeling much better every time he woke up- though not by much, when it started to get dark outside he couldn't force sleep onto himself anymore, "Axel…what're you doing?" he was finally able to get enough air to construct a full sentence, though it was quiet, it brought a smile to the man's face, "I'm just sitting here, thinking, why?" "Don't you… have to work…" it was a question but it didn't sound like one, "I got off for the rest of the week," "I'm sorry…" Roxas thought of saying he'd be okay if Axel went to work- but he wouldn't be, he didn't like not having Axel there, "It's fine Roxy, not your fault, and I hate working anyway," it wasn't a complete lie, there was a silence for a little while- in that time Roxas tried to get enough energy to speak again, "I'm sorry.. for you clothes… too…" Axel laughed, "It's alright Roxy," Axel was curious though, he wanted to see what his clothes looked like, looking around he found the bag on the other side of the bed, waiting for Roxas to fall back asleep, he unzipped it and peeled out what once was a shirt. It was cut down the center- sloppily, the fabric was ripped and wrinkled, covered in tears and blood, the sweat pants weren't as bad but they weren't any better, what was left in the bag was the ace bandage, the bracelets Roxas always wore, and his cell phone. "Could I have that?" he heard the small voice behind him, "You're up? Yeah… I'll set it right here," he placed it on the pillow next to the boys head.

The rest of the visit was filled with random conversations, till the nurse told Axel he had to leave, yet again, and that's how it went the next day too, except Cloud came for a little while, not even coming into the room, just asking the nurse how the boy was doing. Again it was night, Roxas was now able to be up for the most part, he was able to sit up a little, but it hurt when he did, it was around one am when his phone started vibrating, "Roxas, where are you?" for some reason, it shocked Roxas that it was Saïx, though Saïx was the only one who ever called him on that phone, "…hospital…" his mouth was still dry but he wasn't allowed to drink or eat anything yet. "I'm coming over," he hung up and Roxas dropped his hand, out of breath from the simple movement, he didn't want Saïx to come over, but he couldn't tell the man that. What felt like hours passed and Saïx walked through the door, Roxas didn't know how he was allowed to come at night if even Axel wasn't allowed to stay but he didn't bother to ask, didn't want to waste anymore energy. "What happened to you Roxas?" one of the goons were standing outside, Roxas stared at him, wondering why Saïx would bring him, "went back… to my house…" Saïx laid his coat on a chair, reaching into the pocket he pulled out something, rattling it- it was pills, "We'll get a nurse to give you these," Roxas didn't know if he was supposed to say thank you or anything at all, but he said nothing.

Looking at the chart, Saïx acted like he actually knew what it said- though it was all pretty clearly written out- so he probably did understand it, "You broke your chest, your ribs, and you have a collapsed lung… that's pretty much it…" Saïx made it sound like it was no big deal, "You didn't tell anyone about your job, did you?" "No…" "Are you sure about that?" getting questioned by his own cronies that the kid was just using him, or maybe trying to get him in trouble, he felt like he had to force the kid to spill the truth, "Cuz… I mean, if you did, we'd have some problems," walking around he slowly turned the knob on Roxas' IV, turning it so it was barely dripping, watching Roxas' face as the morphine slipped out of his blood stream- his heart monitor began to race, gritting his teeth Roxas forced out his words, "I've never… said anything…" his chest felt like it was being ripped open, sweat started to lace his forehead, he tried to keep his eyes open- but it became harder and harder. Eyes focused on Roxas, ears focused on his words and the beeping of the heart monitor, fingers slowly turning the knob more and more, "Stop…" Roxas choked out, his was practically hyperventilating- from the pain that increased every time he took a breath, his heart rate was fluttering wildly, all over the place, Saïx turned it all the way off, watching as the morphine left the boy's system and the pain soaked back to full force.

Heart race increasing, Saïx moved so he was in the far corner of the room, Roxas was practically choking on air- pain racking his body from breathing, the talkative nurse ran back into the room, his heart race was so erratic and fast it alerted her, he quickly found the problem, "How'd that happen?" she didn't know anyone else was in the room, causing her to jump when she got an answer, Roxas just lolled his head- letting the pain lift away from him. "That's because I did it," "Oh, sir, you scared me… I'm sorry, but no one is allowed in her at this time," she went to fix Roxas askew blanket but found a gun pointed at the now half unconscious boy, "Sir, what're you doing?" "Shut up!" he cut her off, pulling out the pills with the other hand, "You're his nurse, so you'll give him these pills three times a day, don't talk!… If you don't give him these pills, and I will find out, I'll kill him and then you," it was silent for a few seconds, the nurse staring at the man in disbelief, "What are they?" "It doesn't matter, if he doesn't get these, he'll die- it's an unhealthy addiction, so give these to him," silence again, "If it's a health problem you need to tell his doctor," "It's none of the doctor's fucking business," he cocked the gun, "you'll give him these pills at scheduled times, if anyone finds out about it- I'll kill him, if you report me, I'll get other people to kill him and then you." "Go… away…" Roxas finally spoke, able to hold in a breath now- but the wind was quickly knocked out of him.

"Stop that!" the nurse yelled at Saïx, at Roxas' words he jammed the butt of the gun into the boy's stomach, earning a loud crack and a small scream from Roxas, he kept doing it again though, till around the fourth time when the women grabbed the man's wrists and forearms to get him to stop. "I'll do it- okay, okay, I'll do it, just- stop," A smile formed on his face while Roxas tried to regain his breath, "Good, give him one right now," reluctantly she obliged, "Roxas, it's going to hurt to sit up, but you're going to have to…" she whispered to him, moving the bed so he was sitting up- not straight up, but enough were he could drink from a glass and not choke, "This will feel strange," "Just hurry up, he'll get the fuck over it," she didn't respond to his order, and instead basically went against it, "You have to try to swallow," she whispered, Roxas complied, an instant pain ripping through his chest, almost choking on the water, he had to try again to down the pill. The nurse made it clear she was going to stay till the man left, not trusting to leave the boy alone with him- he wouldn't want to kill Roxas if Roxas was one of his guys, leaning into the boy's face he whispered some venom filled words, giving the nurse an evil look- he walked out. The women wasn't sure what she got herself into, looking at the pills she wondered what they were- and if they would kill the boy, she left, without another word.

Morning came and Axel was in the room, the nurse came in, no longer in such a happy mood- though she was faking an almost believable one- they could see through it, "How're you doing today Roxas?" Roxas forced words out, not wanting to disappoint the nurse who probably didn't get any sleep, "fine," "Sir, could you leave the room for a few minutes, I need to discuss something with Roxas," Axel began to say something, defend his reason to stay but the nurse cut in, "Please," Roxas nodded his head, Axel mumbled okay and left, walking to find some sort of food in the joint. "Who was that last night?" "…He would… get mad… if I told you…" Talking a deep breath she continued, millions of thoughts running through her head, "Alright, fine, so, are you close to this guy, friends with him, what's the deal?" there was silent for a little while, "I work… for him- I don't want to," "Then quit," "I can't…" "Okay… so, what're these pills?" "Heroin… basically…" "So you're a druggie?" "No…" "Oh really?" there was silence again and the look she received from the boy pulled her heart strings, "Okay… I'm sorry, I'm just a bit freaked out, my jobs on the line and I really need this," there was silence again, "I'm sorry…" Roxas was running out of energy, "So… how did you really get all broken like this?" he was silent, "I'm not going to tell- just tell me," trying to some up all the strength he could to reply before he fell asleep. "…Father…" he mumbled, but he was already asleep before he could continue.

Axel returned to find the child asleep and the lady pacing around the room, frantic like Cloud was, "Is everything okay?" he poked his head in, the woman looked shocked to see him, but she also didn't know how to react, she knew the man was the boy's boyfriend, but did he know everything about the boy. "Listen, I know I don't know you and you don't know me, but I'm really worried about your boy here and it's something you should know about." She was silent and Axel was shocked a bit, what could she tell him that was so important for him to know that he didn't yet, "We should go somewhere else," She walked around the hospital till they found an empty room, she stood- arms crossed, pacing back and forth, pulling out the pills she held them up for Axel to see. "Do you know what these are?" shaking his head she took a deep breath, "Some men came to see Roxas last night, he had a gun and kept it aimed at Roxas- he said Roxas had to take these pills or he would kill him… do you know about this?" Axel seemed terrified, maybe because he actually was, someone had threatened a small broken boy like Roxas, let alone that it was his Roxy.

"Don't give him those," "I have to, or Roxas is either going to be killed or he is going to just- die," Axel was furious, "What the hell are those?" "I asked Roxas… they're pills for people who are trying to wean off heroine…" sitting down on the bed, Axel almost missed when his knees gave out, "What?" "Listen, I don't know if you're in on it- or whatever, but that boy doesn't need this and… I don't want to see a kid his age waste away on drugs. "Did he say anything else?" "No… just that his injuries are from his father, could you tell his mother or his relatives or something about that?" shaking his head no, Axel spoke his thoughts while walking out of the room, "He doesn't have anyone else," slowly he made his way to Roxas' room, what if every moment he spent with the kid was just effects of the drugs and not real. "Axel?" Roxas was sitting up a little, he could see the look of death on Axel's face, "What's wrong?" trying to force all his thoughts into words, Axel finally managed to construct a fitting sentence, "You're a heroine addict?"

**This chapter is a bit… not all the way together- I apologize, anyway, YAY Roxas is still alive… for now… xD but anyway it's really hot and I'm really impatient at the moment so this chapter was a bit short but Axel finally figured out about Roxas, at least a little bit… And with the whole past of Axel- he isn't much for druggies (Though he used to be one) so it could be the end of AkuRoku… oh nooooss **

**my kitty Stormy, who wants nothing to do with me all day and suddenly wants to be near me while I start typing, had to lay on ****the keyboard- still laying like that right now, good thing I can work around his ginormous paws xD**


	9. Chapter 9: Faith

Roxas looked as shocked as was physically possible in his condition, he didn't know what to say- he wanted to explain so much but he didn't know how to put it into words and even then he didn't know if he could force the words out, mentally or physically. Opening his mouth to say something, the blond was interrupted by the redhead, "Roxas… why?" the redhead didn't think anything about the boy coming home in cuts and bruises- didn't think of the man pointing the gun _at the kid_, he was blind to anything that would've made sense- instead he saw that the kid was just using him- for what Axel didn't even know, or maybe he just wasn't enough for the blond. "I'm sorry…" Forcing out the words, Roxas almost choked on the air, panic setting in, what if the redhead left and Roxas was never given a chance to even attempt to explain, when Axel called him "Roxas," the boy almost felt like crying then and there.

Trying to keep his mind straight Axel took a deep breath, walking closer, a little taken aback by the injuries of the boy all over again, seeing the boy in a whole new light, "I can't question him like this… not when there's still a chance he could die.. Roxas wouldn't do drugs, he already made that clear- but he is! I love him… that's not a question, but… maybe he doesn't love me," Axel thought in his head, sitting in the chair next to the boy, slowly grabbing the frail hand of the blond, startled by how much the boy was shaking. "Are you cold?" his own voice was, but he was going to force forgiveness right now, at least till the boy was better, "No…" his voice even shook, "Axel… please- don't hate me…" tears brimmed his eyes and it succeeded on pulling the heart strings of the man- but he couldn't fall for it, not yet. Making his way around the bed, Axel grabbed another blanket and proceeded to lay it over the boy, said boy tried to make eye contact, tried to read the man's face, but the man just looked at the blanket.

Axel stayed for the week, quiet for the most part, though the child kept saying he was sorry- even when he was sleeping, but too many questions were running through the mans head, the next week he had work, seeing Roxas when his shifts were over, by then the child was awake more and able to sit up, the tube to his lung came out a few days later. Thursday came and Roxas was determined to speak to Axel, he often argued with the nurse about taking the pills, but near the end most of his energy was gone and he couldn't really fight with her anymore- he managed to talk to her when she came in to visit him while Axel was away. At first the woman was distant after finding out about Roxas, but she came in the night that followed when Axel found out, the boy couldn't sleep at all- it was her job to care for him and she had probably treated worse people she thought.

"What's wrong?" she asked, not all that concerned but curious, Roxas was crying- straight up waterfall's pouring down from his eyes, "I fucked up… Axel… he hates me now," his words came out choked, his weak body didn't even find sleeping needed now with the distress in his head and heart. The woman felt a bit of guilt, she had told without even knowing the full situation, "Go into rehab- get clean… then try again," "No! I could quit… I don't care- about the drugs… I don't want them…" now standing by the bed the nurse looked over the boy, she was also seeing him in a different light- but hers was more correct. "Then stop, tell that man that," she'd never really dealt with a druggie- she wasn't from the bad side of the city and wasn't really aware of what could happen if someone did what she said. Laughing a little the woman wondered what was so funny, "I don't find this funny," "It doesn't matter… if I don't want them- he knows I don't!… that's why he keeps doing it…" "He's forcing you?" she didn't understand why anyone would force someone else to do drugs, especially knowing they're expensive, Roxas gave his head a nod and wiped away his tears- hating himself for crying.

"Keep away from him, don't go near him then," she was determined to prove Roxas was capable of getting himself out of it all, instead of laughing at her like he did a second ago his demeanor was the complete opposite, he looked completely frightened. "No… I can't do that…" "And why not?" crossing her arms she shifter her weight to one leg, Roxas looked away, how could he tell her if he couldn't even tell the only person in the world who mattered to him. "What's he do, beat you up, hit you, steal from you, threaten you?" she wanted to know what was so bad that he felt ashamed to tell her, he shook his head, no longer speaking, she lowered her arms- thinking completely serious now, "Did he kill someone?" again he shook his head no, though he didn't really no if that was true- it was irrelevant, "Then what? I can't guess it," there was a silence not very long but in that time Roxas tried to peace together a sentence that maybe she could draw conclusions with. "He…gives me the drugs- for free… so… if I ignore him… or don't listen to him… he… takes his money worth…" he hoped she would understand, his heart started to race a little just from the thought of it all, "What, like… has sex with you?" the bar for her tolerance for the kid was lowering. Roxas made a face- like her answer wasn't correct, but it was along the right lines, his head shook no very slowly, "So he… forces…" she couldn't even say it, once the realization of what the kid meant hit her she felt beyond guilty and well, she felt like a bitch, Roxas didn't shake his head- didn't move his head in anyway, she wasn't completely certain if they were on the same page though, she had to ask and he had to say yes for her to be one hundred percent positive. "He rapes you?" her tone was cold, it was the only way she could force out the question, Roxas was silent for a little while, he had never actually said it out loud like that, "…yes…"

Now when Axel walked in, he noticed right away that the child was sitting up somewhat, when he let the moment slip by to silence he realized he normally would have said, "Feeling better Roxy?" now the room just felt cold. "Axel…" Roxas didn't know what to say, he had rehearsed lines over and over in his mind of what he wanted to say, what he wanted the man to know but now that he had to say it to the man he couldn't. Sitting on the edge of the bed Axel looked at the boys arm, zoning out into the wrappings of bandages, "Roxas… I just need you to explain everything…" Roxas didn't like this- it's not that he hated what Axel had said, he hated that the face that normally had a smile on it was so serious and disappointed because of Roxas. "I'm sorry Axel…" "I've heard. But you see, how do I know if you're not just a lying drug user?" Swallowing any tears that wanted to fall down Roxas' face when he heard that he had to explain but his mind went blank. "I don't know… how to explain…" "Easy," Axel thought, but he didn't really now how it was, there was a silence for a few minutes, Roxas stared at Axel trying to figure out how to explain while Axel zoned away into his mind.

"So… you're addicted to heroine, is that it?" "Yes." that Roxas knew the answer to, "Tell me now Roxas," "I'm not a druggie!" Roxas yelled back, he hated the was Axel was looking at him when he spoke, Roxas looked down- angry and confused and embarrassed at the same time. "Shooting heroine makes you a druggie," "I don't shoot heroine… it's… mostly in pills…" "That doesn't change anything." Letting out a sigh Axel straightened his back, all the conversation was doing was making him more confused, "Axel… please," "You need to explain this to me Roxas, the truth." Roxas' response was a bit delayed- all because he was so shocked by Axel's cold voice. "I don't want them…" looking at the child for the first time Axel didn't believe him, he knew drug users _wanted _them- that's what kept them going back, he couldn't take anymore of Roxas today, not with his own mixed feelings about what he wanted to believe and what was true. "I'll see you tomorrow Roxas," he stood up to walk away, not even in the room for thirty minutes and he was already leaving. "Wait-… Bye…" Roxas whispered, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks yet again, wiggling his arm around he hit the button to lay the bed down straight again, maybe tomorrow he would be able to tell Axel all he wanted and his emotions wouldn't get in the way.

The nurse watched as Axel left, she could tell he was angry she wanted to ask why but he was already gone, instead she went down to Roxas' room, who was silently crying- but was so out of it in his own sorrow didn't hear the door open. Feeling someone standing next to him he opened his eyes, but everything was so blurry from the tears, seeing a blue outline panic set in, he went to move but found the nurses voice present, "Roxas, it's me," Quickly wiping the tears away he saw the nurse leaning over him, her blue hair reminded him so much of Saïx's. "Oh… nurse…" he mumbled, she gave a small laugh at that, "My name is Aqua, hey, are you okay?" tears started to fall down the boys face again after the nurse gave her name, "Axel… he… I don't know how to tell him… I tried to," he looked up at her, "But," looking back down he saw his bandage wrapped chest, "I couldn't tell him…" sitting down on the edge of the bed like Axel had she held the boy's hand, "Axel won't just go away, you can tell him," "What if I do… and he doesn't believe me?" Roxas felt like his heart was breaking. "Listen, it'll all work out, okay… you'll see… it's late… why don't you get some sleep?" with that she waited till he cried himself to sleep and slipped out.

The next few days Axel came over, Roxas tried to explain- over and over again, but he always got caught up, Axel seemed more and more angry and Roxas was even more upset, two weeks went by, and Roxas went home- given pills and a number to reach Aqua. Finding that it didn't hurt all that bad as long as no one touched it and as long as he didn't move too much, Roxas walked to Axel's house, waiting outside for hours for the man to get home from work. Finally he pulled in and Roxas watched the man, he was silent but watched the boy and waited for Roxas to speak, "I'm sorry really… but, there's stuff and I don't know how to tell you… but… I promise I'll stop, I'll drop it all and leave it all behind…" Axel shifted his weight, "Just please… don't hate me anymore…" Trying to choke back his tears Roxas looked down, trying to keep calm till he heard what Axel's response was, Axel wanted to jump at the chance to be around the boy again but he couldn't let the boy off that easily, "Your phone?" he held his hand out, and Roxas slowly pulled out his phone- not because he didn't want to but because the movement hurt, he was afraid of Saïx if he could have Axel.

Placing it in the man's hand- Axel held it up, "No more phone, at all," he went to tuck it in his own pocket but Roxas held out his hand to take it back, letting the blond go on with what he was doing, he wanted to trust the boy again. He took it, looked at it briefly- he thought of Saix for a small second but decided his fear couldn't be conquered by his love, he chucked it to the side- into the river that was down the side of the hill- out of view, the pain ripped through his chest but he held it back. Feeling as arms wrapped around him, a chest pressing into his arm- pulling his own head to lean against the collar bones and neck of the man.

They shared a bed, Roxas felt so guilty for no reason- he wanted Axel to trust him again and he was so determined to have the man trust him, the man was a little distant at first but after he fell asleep he cuddled closer to the boy, Roxas stayed awake though. Enjoying and treasuring the moment right there, when his body started to hurt he let sleep take him, when they woke up, they laid in bed all day, just talking about simple things and enjoying the quiet together, "Roxas… how did you get hurt?" "Nothing important…" "I know your father did it…" there was a silence for a little while, before Roxas started talking, "I came here… but you were at work… so I had to go home… my father was there- and he as angry at me… he didn't mean to take it so far… but… I guess he got sidetracked…" "Wasn't Cloud there?" "…yeah… but he doesn't care…" "I'm sure he does," "I wish he did… but all he did was sit there and get drunk… he got high, I don't know why he hates me…" They sat in silence once again, but it was comfortable and Roxas felt like things were getting back to the way things were, and that was all he wanted in the world.

A few weeks passed, Roxas stayed at Axel's a majority of the time, even when Axel was at work, sometimes he would go to his house to see how Cloud was doing, if his father was there he wouldn't go in, he still couldn't look the man in the eye- he remembered how the last time his father saw him all he could do was stare into the boys eyes. Speechless when he should've had some much to tell the- what could've been- dead boy. On his way back to Axel's house the boy saw a familiar car- Saïx's, rolling down his street, quickly hiding he waited for it to pass, finally it was out of sight and the boy hightailed it back to the man's house, locking the door as soon as he was inside, running as fast as he could without hurting himself, he made sure all the doors were locked- all the windows, and that all the shades were pulled. He sat on the floor, behind the couch for hours, terrified of what would happen- and he was right to be.

Hearing a car pull up, Roxas' heart stopped, he listened intently on any voices he could hear, any footsteps- how many people, he could see the shadow of someone looking into the window, quickly he jumped up, away from all the walls, ready to run, watching as the handle on the door jiggled. Someone was trying to get in and Roxas' heart banged against his sore chest and ribs, this couldn't be happening.

**Sorry I didn't get one up yesterday . it was a bit hectic, but- I'll be uploading another one soon, as in- today :D . Get this one up and off to the next I start! :3 (P.S. I know this one is a bit short, only three pages, but this is where I wanted it to end, the next one- if all goes well- will be ubber long)**


	10. Chapter 10: What is Owed

His heart raced, the person messed with the knob again, knocking on the door, Roxas' heart was going to burst out of his chest, "Roxas, open the door," It was the man who lived there. Running over to the door Roxas quickly unlocked it, the redhead seemed shocked at first, wondering what was going on and why the kid did that, Roxas just hugged him and acted like it was nothing. Soon Axel just shrugged it off and everything went back to the way it was, sitting on the couch Axel laid down- his head on the boy's lap as the blond brushed the red locks out of his face. It was peaceful and Axel had forgiven Roxas- Roxas had proven himself in the past few weeks, and the fact that Axel trusted Roxas made Roxas' heart soar. Suddenly Axel sat up, a light had gone off in his head, he was going to prove to Roxas that he loved the boy and that he himself was proud the boy hadn't touched the pills- when in truth Roxas hadn't, once every few days he would take a pill… though it was only because he was suffering withdrawal affects, he was determined to wean off them though. Kissing the boy, Axel sat up, "I forgot something, I'll be back in a few minutes," Roxas was a bit surprised but smiled back when he saw how Axel's face lit up.

Axel went to buy chocolates- it's clichéd, he knew, but it was also one of the only things that Roxas loved and wouldn't mind spending all day eating. Roxas sat on the couch, happy- knowing something good was going to come, a few minutes passed and he heard the phone ring. "Hello," "Hey Roxas, how you doing?" "I'm great!" Roxas exclaimed, he couldn't help but smile, "That's great," they talked for a few minutes, endless chatter, hearing a car pull in, Roxas got even happier, he was now in the kitchen though, leaning against the counter, his heart pounded in excitement to see Axel again, even if there was nothing special when he walked in- seeing Axel made everything better and Roxas loved it. But instead of the door opening like he would have preferred- it stayed closed, "Hey, Aqua, can you hold on a sec?" he set the phone on the counter and made his way over to the door, about to grab the handle when if flew open. "S…Saïx…" he was so shocked but the man just stood in the doorway with a smile on his face, "Who's Saïx? Roxas?" Aqua asked but no one in the room heard. "Did you think you could just- get out?" he pushed the boy back, causing him to fall to the floor.

Grabbing at his chest, Roxas did his best to hide his scream of pain, but Saïx heard it enough, smiling at the pain he caused the boy he stepped into the house. "Oh god…" Aqua said, again to herself, scrambling around with things on her desk she held a recorder up to the phone- tapping everything that could be heard on the very sensitive phone. "Did you think you could hide!" he yelled, knocking a table across the room for emphasis. Roxas stayed quiet, trying to crawl away, "Did you honestly think I wouldn't find you!" he threw the broken table into the wall, Roxas heart wasn't helping his aching chest, "Did you honestly think you could get away that easily!" he stomped towards the boy, Aqua hearing a scream from Roxas and the man continued to speak, "Guess what, you're coming back with me. You owe me." throwing the already hurt boy against the wall like he did with the table. A very loud and very audible scream left the boys lungs, pulling on Aqua's heart strings, "Did that hurt? I know why you went there, I went and had a little chat with the man at your house- the drunken fool told me everything, you fucking whore!" he pressed his own foot on Roxas' chest- the same place where his father put his foot when he broke his chest, another loud cry left Roxas throat, "S- Stop. Ahh…" gritting his teeth he tried not to let the man have the satisfaction of hurting me.

"Get your ass up, we're leaving." he took his foot off but the boy didn't move, Saïx stared at him in impatience, breathlessly Roxas answered him, "No…" "What the fuck was that, who are you to tell me no!" he kicked the boy in his now healed face, kicking him into unconsciousness.

Waking up, Roxas was terrified, he kept his eyes closed though he heard someone talking and tried to listen and see if it was anything important, "Roxas… Wake up…" he heard someone say above him but the boy kept his eyes closed, he felt something unhook from around his wrist- then the other, then his ankles. Opening his eyes he figured if anything happened he slept through it- if not he was free to run away then and there, but Saïx was now sitting above him, pinning him down- straddling his smaller hips. His heart pounded more, he went to sit up but was denied when Saïx put his hand on the boy's chest, pushing him back down to the bed gently- knowing any amount of pressure on the hurt chest was enough to get his point across. Saïx smiled though, he was able to feel the heart rate of the blond- a feeling a very much enjoyed, and he could visibly see the boy shaking with fear, this time would be even more torturous- Roxas would be able to fight back a little- but he would get nowhere with it and ultimately it would cause him more pain.

Leaning down Saïx pressed his lips against the boys who kept his own lips tightly sealed, Saïx pressed a little on his chest causing Roxas' mouth to open to release a painful gasp, Saïx took the chance and slipped his tongue in. But much to Saïx enjoyment and Roxas' dismay, Roxas was in a fighting mood and bit Saïx's tongue, that only made Saïx feel more sadistic and excided. "Oh, how you'll enjoy this Roxas," the man laughed, shimmying his lower body down, he was looking forward to punishing the boy and the child just made it all the easier.

Axel returned to find the door open and his house a mess, going over to his phone he went to call nine-one-one to report his problem but the phone rang before he could, it was Aqua, "Hey Aqua, listen, I'll have to call you," "Is Roxas there?" her tone was panicked and it was right to be, but Axel was a bit confused, he felt sick once it crossed his mind that it might have to do with Roxas. Searching around the house he found no Roxas, "He's not here… fuck… I'll call you back," he hung up and sat on his bed, what if Roxas had just ditched him- invited drug users in Axel's home and left with them, he felt sick but his mind was doing everything possible to somehow blame Roxas for it all. The phone started to go off again but he only hung it up, looking through the caller ID he saw that she had tried to call over and over again for 15 minutes straight, obviously concerned about Roxas, Aqua didn't want to wait for him to possibly answer the phone- she was going to drive to his house, doing a quick check she headed out.

Gritting his teeth Roxas waited for the man to end everything, or to just walk away, but no, the man was kneeling in front of him slowly removing his clothing. He tried to fight back at first, but that only got him a smack across the face- more kisses and some words from the man that basically meant- "Fight me and I'll make it even more painful," still Roxas tried to fight a little. Agonizingly slowly Saïx undid Roxas' pants, letting and watching the child suffer from the fate he knew was coming, pinching the loose pant legs he tried to slide them down but Roxas slithered his hands down and kept a hold on them. Saïx gave a warning growl, watching as the boy's face twitched in fear but he held on to the pants anyway, snaking his hands up he grabbed gently a hold of the slim wrists. Giving a small whimper from the touch it soon turned into a cry as Saïx twisted the wrists away forcefully and painfully, pulling the hands up so he could gently try to get rid of the pain that shot through them Roxas watched Saïx's face. Once his pants were off, Saïx- for his own gain- teasingly slid the thin boxer's down, hearing another whimper leave the trembling boy's lips he smiled more.

Aqua pulled up next to Axel's car, out of the car before it was really even stopped, she walked up to the door in front of the car and knocked, she thought over and over about how they needed to do something to help Roxas but Axel seemed to upset to do anything on the phone. "Axel, open the door, it's me," she said knocking on the door and speaking into it, but there was no response, she knew he was inside and he needed to hurry up and open the door, the thought crossed her mind of if one of the man Saïx's men were still inside and if they hurt Axel. Walking in she raced around the complex, looking for the redhead, finally walking into the bedroom but he wasn't there, leaving she ran into the man, half naked and wet, "Damn why can't you be straight?" she thought for a quick second. "I had to clear my head…" Axel walked around her, looking for clothes, but Aqua just followed him in, "We have to find Roxas," she didn't understand why he was acting so calm at a time like that, "If Roxas want's to go somewhere, he's free to." Axel mumbled while pulling on a shirt, turning around Aqua talked to the wall- allowing him to get his pants on, "What do you mean free to, it was that man- Saïx who took him!" she yelled. Turning around she saw a surprised Axel staring at her confused.

Pushing his knees together the boy tried to hide his naked body, his heart pounding even more- embarrassed and scared out of his mind. But that only made the man laugh more and get even more sadistic thoughts in his head, he gently pulled the knees apart- keeping eye contact with the child, he was furious beyond belief, not having seen the child in weeks but he felt his anger slowly slipping with thoughts of how much he could hurt the child. Standing up he started to peel off his own clothes, Roxas took the chance and sat up at the head of the bed, knees pressed together as he pulled the blankets up to bunch around him and hide his nudity. Saïx only laughed, he was debating about whether or not he was going to tell the child he couldn't move- but he was enjoying it all to see how the scared boy reacted. Crawling back onto the bed, he grabbed the boy by the ankle, giving a jerk and dragging him down, Roxas went to move again but this time Saïx spoke what he was debating on, "Hide yourself and it'll be even more painful," it was mostly a bluff- Roxas thought- how could the man make it anymore painful, but he didn't chance it and stopped trying to cover his body. Saïx crawled a little further up so he could press his lips against the boy's, rubbing his hard on against the boy's leg- he was determined yet again to make it utterly painful for the boy.

"Took him? Saïx?… What?" Axel threw his towel across the room towards the door, Aqua was stumped, "What?" "Roxas wasn't taken…" Axel muttered out, he wanted to be angry and it was just so easy to be. Taking out the small recording she had taken she explained to the curious Axel, "I recorded it, I figured we could go to the police station and show them this and they would start looking for him… I didn't think I would need it to convince you…" She played it, all that could be heard was Roxas' cries at first and then a voice and some more words, Axel was completely stunned- someone had actually hurt his Roxy. "That doesn't make any sense," he said once the short recording was over, "If it was anything too intense Roxas would have left- he wouldn't have gotten that involved in something like that," "Oh my God, seriously?" Aqua said, it wasn't at all in a clichéd preppy teen voice but annoyed adult, "Wait… he never told you anything… did he?" Looking up Axel didn't know what to say, "He told me that he told you… that you understood…" Axel most certainly wasn't told anything.

Saïx thought of maybe making it pleasurable for the child also- but that idea went out the window when the child fought with him at that man's house, though he thought to himself how much he would enjoy having the child withering in ecstasy below him, trembling with want and desire. He pictured Roxas in his mind, moan slipping out of his lips as he bit the pink flesh to keep them locked inside, but when he hit that spot inside Roxas the lip would slip and a full moan would leave the mouth. But this was all merely a fantasy- and it would not be playing out that night, he promised the child to make it as painful as possible- so he let his fantasy go in a new direction. Roxas still withered below him- but begging him, shaking with fear and pain, to stop, for some reason this only made the man even more turned on, laughing at his own thoughts he came back to reality for a second to see the child. His hands awkwardly in front of him to hold one of his smarting wrists, he kept looking around the room- thinking rapidly of a way to escape, his knees tried to push together but got nowhere because Saïx was already in between them, he smiled at the child- after all, he did really love the child, he forced himself in the now screaming child.

Plopping down Aqua looked stunned, "So… you just trusted him again?" "…Yeah…" "That's not important, Axel- Saïx is the one who gives Roxas his drugs," "If he wants to take them he can- he's his own person," he said again, "Shut up!" Axel's eyes opened in shock, "Let me talk! You need to listen! Roxas was mugged and got involuntarily hired to be a drug trafficker- Saïx forced him to take drugs," "He could've stopped talking to him." Axel spoke up again, she was yelling so he figured he would too, "Axel! When he ignores Saïx- Saïx rapes him!" That got the red man's attention, snapping around to look at the blue haired woman Axel didn't know what to say or what to do other than looked confused. "We talked a lot while you were at work… he told me about the one day he spent with you- all day, he kept ignoring his phone calls, because he wanted to be with you! That man- that monster thought that forcing Roxas… into that… was punishment- he uses drugs to keep Roxas on a leash!" Axel's knees gave out and he fell back unto the bed, "I made Roxas get rid of that phone… I- I didn't know!"

The hands that held Roxas still felt like they were burning him- he hated the touch of Saïx, but he stayed as still as he could- hoping that maybe there was still a small chance that the man would just leave, but no, there wasn't. There was a smile on his face and with that Roxas felt a pain shoot up his spine and morph into a scream he wasn't even prepared to try and hide, his hands shot down to pull the hands off- they were in a death tight grip around his hips, throwing his shoulders around, trying to squirm away- screams and cries left his lungs but the man acted like none of it was happening- his grip only tightened and his speed only increased. Throwing his head back Roxas tried to somehow will himself away, his chest was screaming in pain from his racing heart and heavy breathing, "Stop…" he started to whisper over and over again- short on breath from screaming, Saïx only sped up and held tighter, leaning down he took advantage of the neck that was presented in front of him. Squeezing his eyes tight Roxas tried to block all the pain- the pain racking up his spine- the aching pain of his chest, but the more he tried to more ways the man found to bring him back, sucking on his neck he could hear the man letting out moans- he wanted it all just to end- the sound was making him sick.

"We have to find him," Axel was shuffling around his complex, finding his keys he stormed of the house with Aqua on his tail, "Wait, hey- wait!" she grabbed hold of the determined man and swung him around a little afraid by how dramatic the action was made, "We don't even know where they are…" she tried to reason with him, "I have an idea," he said- jumping into his car, Aqua got in his car, speeding the entire time, they drove around town till he parked outside a café, stepping out she stood next to Axel, "You think he's here?" "No… around here, I've picked him up a few times walking around here- he was always out of it, he must have been around here. There," he pointed, "in one of those warehouses," he set off across the street, running in front of several cars, earning himself blaring car horns. Aqua slowly followed, waiting for cars to allow her to cross- guaranteeing her survival, she followed in pursuit as he ran up to the first one, how they were going to get inside seemed irrelevant to Axel- there was no such thing as legal or illegal when his Roxy was in harms way.

Saïx's goal for the most part was just to illicit screams from the child, increasing his pace with every minute so the boy wouldn't get used to him, causing the boy as much pain as he could do with only his body. He maneuvered the boy's body so his bone thin legs were over his shoulders, allowing him to go deeper into the unwilling boy, the child's screams reached a new level, Saïx loved hearing the new screams- loved hearing the child beg though all that was really audible was the chocked sobbing and crying of the boy. The own crying of the child was choking him, he couldn't breathe right, he tried to force himself to calm down- to stop panicking but he couldn't, as soon as he thought he could handle it the man did something worse and it all hit him again. Breathing was barely even possible- scratch that, it was impossible, Roxas' screams had died down a bit but were now choked sobs and pleas to stop, Saïx felt his heart rate skip beats and his body began twitching and finally he stopped- his pace slowed down to a crawl and then stopped. Roxas was still crying- still pleading with him to stop, his body was so bruised and his mind was still in a, "Do all you can to stop from going insane," mode, his cries slowly died down though- he tried to force his breathing to normalize but it didn't work. Hyperventilating hurt his chest but it was the only way he could get air into his lungs, Saïx remained inside him, watching in fascination as how the boy tried to breath with a sore chest and sore body, he felt only a little bit of guilt- a very small amount- for not letting the boy enjoy it at all, he had worked hard to miss the boy's special spot just to add to the pain. Letting the knees slide off his shoulders he finally pulled out of the boy, but his body still racked in pain- more than the first time because of the simple fact that his ribs and chest were again, still sore without the need of anything added.

Axel and Aqua had only managed to see inside two, luckily around here- warehouses were mostly used to live in, the first were just gangs and made if very clearly Saïx didn't reside there, but they also wouldn't tell them where Saïx did. He was about to have a break down, locking his fingers around hair he pressed his hands against his head, spinning around, "Fuck, what're we going to do?" Aqua gently grabbed his elbow, but she wasn't looking at him, instead she was looking down the road, he stopped to look too- there was a small figure limping down the road- blond hair. That was enough for Axel- he took off running down the street till he could see that it was clearly Roxas, "Roxas!" he ran faster, slamming his feet to try and stop from moving once he got right in front of the child, he had a giant bruise under his chin, what looked like a bruise on his neck, his cheeks were coated in now dry tears, teal eyes half lidded. Taking a hold of the boy, his grip was loose- afraid he might hurt the child, but his hold tightened when the blond collapsed in his arms, Aqua soon followed, telling Axel to watch out- though the blond boy was whispering Axel over and over again, she finally pushed him away and was able to look at the boy, "Go get your car!" she had actually told him a number of times but he only heard it once, quickly he scrambled to his feet and dashed back to get his car, pulling up- despite honking from various cars, he jumped out and went around to lift and put Roxas in the back seat. Once he got in the drivers seat and Aqua in the passenger, he sped to his house, he would drop them off and if he needed to he would speed to a store to get whatever items Aqua needed.

Roxas didn't know how but he was dressed in a button down light blue shirt, it was unevenly button- only a few of the white circles were actually through the loop on the other side to hold it closed, his pants were loose sweat pants he had on before though he took no notice, he also didn't take notice that he- again, no longer had shoes. He walked mindlessly, his mind still in distress, then he heard someone speak his name, only able to move a little he saw the redhead- he wanted to explain to him, to apologize for everything but as soon as he felt the man's arms he crumbled to the ground- any energy he had was to make sure he survived and now that he was in the only person he cared about's arms he felt safe- safer than he did anywhere else. Passing out he finally felt comfort- though it wouldn't last because he felt the man let go of him and after that he stopped caring.

Picking up the light boy Axel carried him in to lay him on the couch, he would've preferred the bed but Aqua said the couch specifically, "Axel can you get him new clothes and come ice?" Axel was already on the move, returning with a pair of baggy black sweat pants and a giant white tee shirt- one of his own, and a bag full of ice, "Can you leave the room?" "Why?" "I'm going to change him into these clothes and take a look at his body- he'd be embarrassed if you were in here, I know he finds you comforting but if you ever see him naked he probably doesn't want it to be like this…" Aqua had a point, Axel admitted in his own head- he nodded his hand and stepped outside, enjoying the cold breeze.

Taking a look at the child Aqua saw the bruises that riddled his inner legs and hips, taking a rag she cleaned him up, changing his pants first, the shirt clearly wasn't his but she through it with the pants anyway, sliding the giant shirt on him she get another rag and took care of his face, wiping the small cuts and dried blood, wiping away the tear stains and brushing out his locks- dried blood batched around his hair. Aqua wanted to make him as comfortable as she could possibly so when he woke up he wouldn't have much to worry about, more than what was already on his plate, opening the door she motioned for him to come back in. Placing the frail boy on the bed Axel walked back out into the living room to see Aqua cleaning the couch with soap- good thing it was leather and not some type of fabric. "So… how is he going to be?" "Physically? Well… his chest is probably extremely sore now, he had deep bruising around his hips and his inner legs- he should heal fine… but it might be painful for him to ever have sex… Emotionally? I can't really say…" Axel leaned against the wall… he felt so guilty now, for being so cold to the boy, he should've trusted him, determination that Aqua was going to sleep on the couch just in case anything did happen he walked back into his and Roxy's room. Sliding into bed by the unconscious boy, "Roxy…" he whispered, the boy almost relaxed right then and there, he pulled the boy closer and buried his face in the blond locks, "I'm so sorry."

Waking up Roxas almost panicked, he didn't know where he was at first, till he felt someone breathing on the side of his head- not a thought crossed his mind of if it was Saïx or not because the child could already smell Axel before he felt anything- he went to sit up but found it extremely hard. His bum hurt from the simple movement, not to mention his chest, and there was an extra weight, looking down he saw a pale arm awkwardly stretched across his stomach to avoid putting pressure on his chest or ribs. "Axel?" his voice was hoarse from screaming and crying- quiet because his lung didn't let him take a deep breath, the man was instantly away, "Roxy?" it brought a smile to the mans face just to hear the man call him Roxy. "I'm so sorry- I shouldn't been so stupid, so blind… Roxy…" he was leaning on his elbow to look into the boy's eyes, "I was so worried about my own feelings I didn't try to understand anything- I'm so sorry I," the little blond cut him off, "Axel… do you still hate me?" "I never hated you," he brushed the boy's hair out of his face, stroking the side of his head, "I could never hate you… I love you so much Roxy" though it hurt, Roxas forced his body to turn on its side so he could wrap his arms around the redhead.

**Not as long as I intend, eight pages, but it's here…there?… yeahhh… well, I was able to type this AND make four home made pizza's right in the middle of typing this chapter. That my kind sir is called multitasking. Hopefully it didn't mess up any of the writing :o **


	11. Chapter 11: Cut

Pushing the razor through his skin Roxas sat on the toilet lid, Axel smothered him with love while he was around- but it only reminded him of the pain he felt from Saïx. Slipping off to the bathroom as much as he could he was happy that for once in the past three days he was actually in the house alone- Aqua and Axel at work, he didn't have to leave the comfort of the bathroom. Since he had been with Axel Roxas hadn't really cut as much as he felt like, before he met Axel- extracting blood was just something he did, like a routine to keep from going insane. But the cuts were shallower- of course the depth of the cuts never crossed the blonds mind, in fact nothing crossed the boys mind as the blood trickled onto his hand and bubbled over the edges to drip on the floor- before, now that he hadn't sliced his skin as much when he finally did again he pushed the blade deeper, he had managed to slip in quite a few cuts while in the hospital and even when he was just spending time with the redhead. Pulling off all of his bracelets- there was only four, two on each wrist, but one pair stretched up to his elbow, though most of the time it had found it's way back down to only cover the middle of his forearm and down. Looking at his bare and bloody wrists he saw the scars that blended together, covering both wrists.

He went to grab the toilet paper- to start to wipe off the blood, but he was still shaking and he still longed to cut deeper, moving his hand only a tiny bit he grabbed the razor instead, he wanted to cut and he never wanted to stop but the small rational part of his mind continued to shout at him no, but the cries fell on deaf ears. Without thinking Roxas pulled the knife across his skin over and over again, not paying attention to how quick the blood flowed like usual, instead all he could think about was the blue haired man. Roxas thought of how he wasn't even tied up- he felt weak, thinking he should've been able to get away he should've been strong enough to get away from te man and he should have been able to do something other then scream and beg. Opening his eyes he threw the blade across the room, not hearing it as it _tink_ as it his the wall and floor, sliding to his knees he cuddled the ten's of cuts on his wrist- wanting to cry and scream again but everything that was built up was temporarily released in his pain- though tears still managed to fall down his face.

Scrambling across the floor he found the previously discarded razor, pressing his back against the wall he brought the razor to his arm again, going to cut deeper- feeling even weaker for crying, suddenly he heard a familiar noise but he couldn't place it. It went off again- the phone was ringing, his heart raced but he found himself holding his breath, waiting for the answering machine to pick up, hearing the beep his listened intently. "Hey Roxy, it's Axel, I was just calling to see how you're doing… well… I guess call me back- I love you," he hung up and Roxas let out his breath, he went to push the razor but his body fought against him his mind yelling at him, "If you hurt yourself you hurt Axel! He loves you, he's going to be so disappointed when he finds out," little did Roxas know that Axel had pretty much already caught on.

Seeing the boy almost everyday at first, he could tell when the child acted happier but also acted as if he was sick, he caught on that the child was probably hurting himself but he wasn't certain, putting his phone in his pocket, he wondered if Roxas would feel offended if he asked and it turned out the child didn't. A few hours passed and Axel made his way back to his house, he was almost nervous about walking in but relieved when he found the tv on and Roxas passed out on the couch. Leaning down he felt the child shaking, placing his hand on the boys head Axel didn't really feel anything wrong with the boy's temperature, but when he lift the boy up to move him to the bed a very cold arm pressed against his shirt and chilled his own chest. Confusion hit him first, it felt like the boy had held his arm in freezing cold water, once he laid him down he felt the other arm- it didn't feel any different, "Roxy? What'd you do?" his soft tone succeeded in waking the boy, "Axel?" looking around the boy tried to find a clock- tried to determine what time it was but he found none and instead only found a perfect cream skinned face in his own.

Axel didn't want to pry, he didn't want to upset the boy or push the boy further away then he already had so instead he pushed on his smile and once the blue eyed boy returned the action he kissed him, in thought Axel always used to think that he would hate having someone constantly wrapped around him. But with Roxas- he longed for the smaller child to wrap his arms around his waist to cuddle or to follow him around- the way the child had managed to do it was prefect in everyway, the boys own body contoured to the man's body. Not even knowing it but the blond had succeeded in pulling the man up and laying him on his back, Axel didn't even notice till the boy pulled away from the kiss and buried his face in the man's side. "What did you do all day Roxy?" The redhead was always curious but always found the same answer from the child, "Not all that much…" it was quiet for a little while, then the blond spoke up again, "I think I'm going to go see Cloud tomorrow…" Axel was a bit surprised- he would have been more surprised if he knew the whole story but the blond kept quiet about that.

Two more days passed, Axel at work- Aqua at a reasonable distance outside of Axel and Roxas' life, Roxas walked down the familiar road, his hands stuffed into his hoodie pocket, Aqua had managed to get him new shoes- they were the first never pre-owned shoes the blond had ever had. Knocking on the door he waited, listening intently to hear who all was in the house, "It's open…" Cloud mumbled inside, opening the door Roxas looked around- the house was a mess, but that made since seeing as how Roxas was the only one who ever cleaned it. "Roxas?" instantly the boy knew he was drunk- depressed drunk, Roxas wondered if the man knew that alcohol was a depressant, with the way the man was going it didn't seem that way.

Taking the bottle out of the man's hand he set it on the counter, looking around he noticed the floor was covered in empty 150 proof vodka, "Come on…" picking the man up he helped him into his room, laying him down on the bed, "Rox… Do you hate me?" Cloud asked, Roxas almost didn't hear him he was so distracted trying to fix around the bed, "No… Cloud I don't…" but the man was already passed out- little did he know that all Cloud heard was silence. Cleaning around the house was pretty simple- just moving all the bottles into garbage bags and placing them by the door, a few hours passed and Roxas was done, the house was spotless again. He thought of leaving a note, to tell Cloud to call him or come see him sometime… but he wasn't sure if he wanted to do that, he left it on the counter anyway- "Hey Cloud, if you ever need anything, Call me- you're still a part of my life," under that he put the number and left the note.

Cuddling with Axel on the couch Roxas beaded together a bracelet, Axel sat on the outside with the blonds head resting on his underarm, his thumb rubbing over some part of the boy's body- though the man wasn't sure exactly, his hip, his side? Roxas had the beads sitting in a container on his stomach the colors were of the man: red and green, and the other two represented Roxas: cream and blue, all of the colors were see through but that only added to the depths- reminding Roxas of Axel's eyes, the pattern went red, cream, green, and then blue, over and over again. Roxas felt a little guilty- he had been with the man for almost four months but yet he hadn't done anything to show the man he loved him, other than constant kissing, Roxas laughed at the thought ,"What's so funny?" the redhead inquired, lifting his head a little to try and look at the boys face, Roxas only replied with a smile and slid his body up to give the man yet another kiss. Beginning to pull away, Roxas found the man's lips were following his own because the redhead was determined for the kiss to not end, finally they both pulled away- smiles present on both of their faces, Roxas set the incomplete bracelet in with the other beads and set it on the floor so he was free to cuddle with the man.

Hearing a knock on the door Axel's heart raced, more than the boy's own, "It's probably Cloud," Roxas reminded the man who he had told earlier about the note he left for the drunken man- it had been a few hours since then, enough time for the man to sober up, realize food was delicious, and want to talk. "Yeah," Axel groaned out- though it was about eighty degrees he felt cold leaving the blond on the couch, opening the door he was taken off guard, for it wasn't the blue eyed blond at his door, but instead a silver haired pale blue eyed. Remaining quiet Axel didn't know what to say- he had never really met the man, only twice, but he knew that the man was the one who caused his Roxy to be in constant pain still after almost a month. "What do you want?" he growled out, not afraid to show his teeth when he said it, "I need a word with my son," Roxas heard the voice and instantly felt the shivers claw their way down his back, he creeped behind Axel, making sure to stay behind him incase his father acted out or something- he pressed against the man to let him know he was there, "What?" his tone wasn't rude or disrespectful, just matter-of-factly. \

Sephiroth twitched his head a bit as if he wasn't happy that his son was so brave and cocky around him, but that didn't matter at the moment, "Cloud's dead," his pause wasn't because of self hurt but to add effect to his words, "He killed himself, you're no longer his ward- you've been returned to my custody." he waited to walk off, the blond just stared at him in disbelief, how could Cloud be dead? When the man began to move is when Roxas was taken out of his stupor, "Wait, what… I just saw him only a few hours ago… he's not dead," Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, "Are you telling me that I wouldn't know if the man was dead? Do you think I'm a moron?" He step towards Roxas as if ready to beat him again and instinctively Roxas tried to step away but he forgot about his hold on Axel and was only allowed a small twitch back. Axel gave another growl when he felt his Roxas shake, "Leave," his tone was cold but he didn't care, he noticed the hold around him was gone but he waited till he had the door shut and locked to look behind him.

But Roxas wasn't there, the redhead looked in their room and again the blond wasn't there, "Roxy?" he knocked on the now shut bathroom door, "I'll be out in a little bit…" the blond choked out, not from tears but from the pain of the cut and all the emotions he was trying to hold back. After a few seconds went by there was another knock, "Roxy… please open the door," Axel didn't know exactly what the kid was feeling, but he knew it wasn't good. Struggling to hold back the tears as he yanked off his bracelets the boy dug the razor deep into his skin, the arm that didn't have the fresher wounds in it- but these cuts were deep, gushing before the blade ever left the skin, sadly the boy was too shocked at making himself feel the pain and feel the alarms his body was setting off. His arm kept bleeding but he still felt a tear fall down his face, "Fuck, no," he swore in his head, he cut again- deeper, three short but deeps cut lined up on his pale and scarred wrist. The bleeding blue eyed boy didn't know when but at some point the redhead managed to get the door open and was crouching in front of him, his hand held the shaking boys own- the one with the blade in it, he still wanted to cut again but the voice spoke to him once again, "Roxy… please… stop…" letting go of the blade the bleeding boy wrapped his now free hand around the wounds and brought them close to his body, hugging them in front of his stomach as he sandwiched the hurt arm between his legs and stomach.

Roxas had so many thoughts and emotions running through his head that while he tried to focus on them to sort them all out tears found their way silently down his cheeks. "I messed up," he thought, "Cloud asked me if I hated him but I answered too late! Tifa was the only reason he had to live, but he was left with only me- I'm not worth living for? He must have hated me- if I knew that he felt at all like that- I would've done something, wouldn't I've?" in his mind, everything made since, the reason why he was so fucked up was his own fault. Blaming himself but also just trying to deal with the death of the man, Roxas' eyes seemed broken because he was so lost in thought he couldn't see anything, or feel anything- not the man in front of him, rubbing his back. The boy couldn't even put his relationship with the man for anyone to understand- he didn't know how to explain it, he also didn't know that he was muttering words for the redhead to hear.

"I let him die… It's my fault…" was one of the only things that Axel could make out from the boy's crying, he could feel the boy trying to stop his tears but that just made everything worse, he was only crying for less than five minutes but Axel knew he wanted to stop, "Hey… Roxy… it isn't your fault, you didn't know…." that pulled the boy to reality for a few minutes, "No… he asked if I hated him… I don't! but I didn't say it fast enough, I didn't make sure he heard me," the boy hadn't cried all as much as he felt like he had, he had bled a whole lot more, so much more in fact that he felt lightheaded now. "Roxy," the rest of the sentence- if there was one was cut out to the boy, loosing as much blood as he head he almost fell face first into the floor. Turning the boy as he fell, Axel caught the blond against his chest, falling against the wall himself he held the boy, "Roxy?" he asked again, there was a small pause but the blond answered, "Axel… I'm sorry… please don't hate me…" he mumbled out, it was a natural thought in the blonds head- to never have Axel hate him.

"I don't hate you Roxy… It just makes me sad when you do this… when you hurt yourself…" Axel wasn't completely shocked to find that his Roxy was hurting himself, to such an extent was though, moving closer to the tub he wet a rag under the faucet and gently grabbed the hurt arm, dabbing off the blood where he knew it wasn't hurt just to make sure that he wouldn't cause his Roxy even more pain, he didn't want to do that- ever but he found himself pushing gently around the wounds to clean the blood away, though it continued to bleed. Hearing a heavy breath- almost like a light snore, Axel wondered if his blond was sleeping, "Roxy?" no response, finding some gauze he wrapped an ace bandage around to hold to gauze- he couldn't help but look at the scars that riddled the boy's wrist. Picking up the blond like he found himself doing a lot of- not that he mind, he loved holding the blond, but the reason he did it upset him a bit- gently lying the boy on the bed he watched as he tried to move to lay one his side but was quickly denied- a small and sort whine could be heard in his throat from where Axel sat on the bed. Roxas did it often while he slept, he would try to lay on his side or he'd try to roll over but his still hurt chest bones would yell at him, "Maybe I should make him wear the brace?" Axel thought to himself, once the kid was out of the hospital he took the brace off, though it was obvious that the brace should've been worn the blond thought otherwise.

Axel slid into the bed next to the boy who could lay on his side if he had the redhead to lay his arm over- to take the weight off his chest when he laid on his side. Continuing to talk to the boy, Axel tried to comfort him when he could feel the boy crying again, his breathing would become shallow and his body would shake a little… the redhead wondered what the boy was thinking about. Roxas was upset over Cloud- the only person who had ever been a father figure worth looking up to, but also- guilty the child was thinking about how now he was in completely control of his father again. Sure he was sixteen but he was only allowed to live elsewhere if his parents consent it, which now his father most certainly wouldn't agree with.

**Hiya, it's been a few days- sorry about that- have some family shit goin on :/ . This is just a quick chapter just to kinda have Axel meet one more of Roxas problems and yes… Cloud is dead *sad panda* THERE IS A REASON THOUGH…. Mostly cuz this story is built on unfair drama, I know the relationship between Roxas and Axel is a bit strained(?) But I'm doing that on purpose :P it could get closer… but then again it could also get further apart… dun-dun-duhnnnnnn! **


	12. Chapter 12: I Love You

Sitting on the couch, the redhead didn't know what to do- it pained him to know that his Roxy was hurting himself- now that he finally had actual proof, but he didn't know how to handle it. "AH!" he groaned out, throwing his head back into the cushion, rubbing his palms into his eyes he tried to force a thought into his head- tried to find a solution in his subconscious but it wasn't working at all. He hadn't even heard as the blond woke up and slowly found his way to stand in the doorway, watching the distressed man sit tormented on the couch, red hair slipping between his fingers as he grasped to hold his head, quietly Roxas walked towards the couch, waiting for Axel to notice him, but it didn't happen. Gasping, Axel moved his hands away from his eyes when he felt arms wrap around his neck and shoulders, "Roxas?" his voice was cut out a bit, the weightless blond was sitting on his lap and, Axel soon realized, trying to comfort him. Kissing his red hair, Roxas stroked the locks in an attempt to comfort the confused man. At first the redhead was confused about the motions but quickly he wrapped his arms around the weightless boy sitting on him, pulling him closer, not understanding how the child could have met so much to him in such a short time.

Hours past and Axel found himself waking up, though he didn't know that he had fallen asleep, picking his head up he surveyed the room, noticing then the lap he was resting on, "Hiya," Roxas said with a smile, his one hand was placed on the man's chest while the other continued to stroke the red hair, Axel didn't know what to say at first. At first, the smile on the blond was forced- not entirely fake but also not entirely real, but when Axel wrapped his hands around the boy and pulled him closer, a silence followed where neither knew what to say. "Axel… I'm sorry…" tipping his head to look away Roxas felt pathetic, he didn't know why the redhead would even hold him close like he was important. He was too self-conscious and scared to show that he loved the man, he wasn't emotionally stable and seemed to always have problems, he hadn't been in school at all and it was two months in- meaning he basically dropped out, and everything was just unfortunate- so the boy thought as he waited for the man to reply. There was another long silence, Axel tried to piece everything together in his head correctly so it would come out right, "Roxy… It hurts _me_ when you do that…" Roxas turned to look up at the redhead, he hadn't expected to hear the man say that, but realized it was what he kinda wanted to hear- it was what he needed to hear.

"Just promise me… Promise you won't do that anymore-" Roxas went to cut him off, to speak something but Axel continued on and made it clear he wanted to keep speaking and for Roxas to listen till he was done. "I know that sometimes it's hard to handle- if you ever feel like doing that, please, don't… just talk to me," he moved so he could hold the child's face between his hands, stroking the boys cheeks with his thumbs, "I'm here, talk to me… okay? Please… I don't think I could survive if I didn't have you in my life," With the redhead now sitting up, Roxas wrapped his arms around thin waist, soon being led into the bedroom by the tall man- who was careful not to pull on the wounded arm. Pulling the blond onto his lap Axel wrapped his arms around him, the blond was so small Axel felt like if he made one wrong move he would break the boy. "Roxas… I was a punk ass kid who thought he was so badass and I didn't get close to anyone, you know that, and you know that when my mother died it just… it just seemed like the whole world was against me… I kept trying to get out of the gutter that I had been in since then but I never had anything to live for."

Roxas had heard similar stories to this but never in such a serious moment, he looked up at the redhead who had a very pained look on his face, "I hated myself and I was desperate to find something, to find anyone to want me around, I just needed that one reason… and I found you, so please, please don't go away… I love you and I don't think I could function if I know you keep getting hurt… I promised and I know I haven't been completely true to my word but when I promised to never let anything happen to you I meant it." Pushing to sit up, Roxas placed a kiss on the older one's lips, he felt awful for hurting the redhead- he'd been lying to himself, without even being fully aware, but he truly loved the redhead and he never wanted to leave the man's side. "Axel?" "Hm?" the boy was now sitting up and waited till he saw the green eyes to speak what he was thinking, "I love you Axel," He'd never been able to say it before but he was truly able to now

_**So I know this is an extremely short chapter, and just wow… don't hate me . **_

_**hopefully I'll be able to make up for lost time before school starts :/**_


	13. Chapter 13: Memories

There wasn't really a funeral for Cloud, the government supplied the casket and a simple headstone since no family could be found, Roxas and Axel were the only ones to show up, "It's so much different from Tifa's…" Looking down blond hair covered Roxas' eyes as he continued to speak, "At Tifa's this whole place was full of people…" Axel tried to keep a distant, wanted to let the kid vent without him stuck up his bum, he could see the hurt flowing out of the boy, after all, Cloud had been the main father figure- the only one that was even sum what reasonable to look up to. Feeling a tear play in the corner of his eye the blond quickly wiped it away, sure the man was on a down whirl spiral but who wouldn't be after they lost the only thing that ever mattered to them, someone who they wanted to lay embracing for all eternity. He felt like he himself could go down the same spiral if he was to lose Axel, Cloud wasn't a bad man at all though- he just had some moments… Roxas couldn't blame him even if he wanted to- not just because he was gone forever now but because the man was once perfect to him.

"Would you want to live with my wife and I?" Cloud asked one day while Roxas was sitting in his office for a government mandatory scheduled therapy session. Roxas didn't know what to say to that, deep inside he was ecstatic because he had heard many stories from the man and even from his wife about their own life, and in the current moment his father was only allowed supervised visitation while he stayed in a youth facility. But the end of the month was coming and if his father didn't have a stable home and job then Roxas would be moved into a foster home, something he was terrified of, but this was a solution to all his problems, a smile crept onto his face and Cloud took that as a yes and smiled back. Not even a week later Cloud and Tifa were his legal guardians, it was a unanimous decision because Cloud told them that Roxas was very secretive and wasn't open and it would be easier for the child to stay with someone who knew something about him other than what could be found in a document. His life was ideal, with Tifa being a teacher for the first year he lived with her he was able to stay home and get caught up in school- seeing as how with his father he was behind three years, he was supposed to be in tenth but he was in eleventh because as everyone soon found out, Roxas was very smart just not given the best start off.

Looking over, Roxas saw Tifa's grave, covered in new flowers and cards- she was always remembered because of her student and friends… but Cloud was alone in the world, other than Roxas himself. He was lost in memories of the first real Christmas he had, of course he was a teenager, but he was still excited to see lights and a tree, he was in utter awe, he had said he didn't want anything- he was happily content with what he had but to see presents under a tree with his name on it jump started his heart. "Roxas! You're up," Tifa giggled out, standing up to rush over to the newly awoken boy, it was close to noon but Roxas often slept through this day but was suddenly regretting it, "We've been waiting," she said light-heartedly again, Roxas felt a light blush spread across his face, "S-sorry…" he mumbled out, Tifa only laughed again, leading him to sit on a couch and with a gasp she turned to face the tree grabbing something wrapped in green paper she handed it to Roxas. Dumbfounded he looked up, did they get him something even though he didn't tell them to, "Well go ahead open it," rolling it over he tried to open it as neatly as possible, trying not to tear the paper- he remembered his grandmother yelling at him when he was younger because he always reused the paper- though he didn't know because she rarely got him anything.

Cloud laughed, sitting in a chair with Tifa, "You can rip the paper, it's alright," but by that time the paper was all the way off, and sure it was just a simple blanket and clothes and such, since living with them he watched movies where the kids were greatly disappointed because they didn't get a toy but instead clothes but Roxas was thrilled, "Thanks," he mumbled out in awe after every present. Clothes had never been actually given to him, more of stolen or found, but never bought with the purpose of giving to him, it was his perfect day to a year that started out awful but turned out into something he loved to pieces. Thinking back, the beginning of the year was a nightmare, just like the rest of his life, he became so far away from his father that Roxas didn't even know what state he was in or the names of anyone, till one day Roxas found himself being pulled and pushed out a small window, the man who had been dragging him around for days now was quick to follow behind him. Finally awake he saw the lights of the sirens and in an instant he was being grabbed by a police officer, there was more shouting and Roxas watched as the man was tackled and handcuffed. He found himself back with his father and then in a youth facility were he was required to talk to a therapist, Cloud.

"Roxas?" Axel asked, the redhead stood silently watching as the blond was quiet for a good 20 minutes, the silence only brought to the attention of how small the child was yet again, Axel sometimes forgot the kid was just a kid, and with the kid dressed in a black tucked in silk shirt that belonged to Axel himself though he couldn't fit it and it was from when he went to his own mother's funeral. It seemed almost impossible how tiny the child had gotten, blinking himself back to reality he approached the blond, "Roxas?" he leaned his head down to try to look at Roxas' face, he noticed then that the child was crying, staring at the stone in the ground, "Roxas?" asking again he could tell he was zoned out of it, "Roxas," he said again, finally he got the blonds attention when he placed his hand gently on his shoulder. Jumping back to reality Roxas quickly wiped his silent tears away, "Sorry…" he mumbled, he hadn't even noticed that he was lost in memories, Axel rubbed his back softly, "It's okay," the silent sobs turned into soft gasps for air but quickly it faded as quickly as it started, "Come on, it's getting dark, let's go get something to eat," Roxas tried to protest but quickly lost.

Sitting back at the house Roxas sat curled up to Axel enjoying his time with the redhead and trying not to think of anything else but that moment. Hour's passed and with words for Axel, Roxas was finally feeling up for everything, finally felt like he could handle everything, like he could get through it all, it was about midnight when Roxas finally got up and dragged the now sleeping Axel into the bedroom with him, laying on top of the blankets they fell asleep.

Axel awoke to find no Roxas next to him, sitting up he was a bit panicked, he checked the bathroom first, but no Roxas, "Roxas?" no reply, walking into the kitchen he found a note, "Hey Axel, I went over to the house to get everything sorted out, I didn't want to wake you up. I should be back later, ~ Roxas". Taking the note in hand he moved around the counter to lay on the couch and was soon sleeping again.

Pushing the key through the lock, Roxas was nervous, he didn't know if he could really handle it all, but taking a deep breath he pushed open the door. Looking around it all hit him but this time he swallowed his emotions and with a little inner monologue telling him he could do it he walked in and shut the door. Opening all the windows in the house, he sat down in the living room, "Where to begin…" Taking some garbage bags in hand he started to place the everything in them- unopened mail and papers, there wasn't really any material items in the house just miscellaneous belongs. A few hours passed and the home was becoming a house- he was glad he used his money to buy a bunch of garbage bags, with money in mind he remembered he shoved the bag full of it under his bed, he wondered now if it was still there. Looking into his room he nervously picked up his mattress, and to his surprise the bag was there, he thought of his father, if his father had found it maybe some of the stuff wouldn't have happened to him. Shaking that away he went into his bathroom and tucked all of his belongs in the bag, four bottles of pills he was supposed to be taking though on three he wanted to, his two towels and the rest of his clothes- which managed to all fit into his backpack. It was sad to think that was all that he owned.

He found picture albums and took his time going through them all, out of everything, there was only two backpacks full of things that needed to be kept, photo's and Cloud's clothes, he had finished taking all the garbage bags outside now and stood inside the empty house once more, taking a slow walk around the place to put all his memories in order, closing all the windows. "Well," he said in his mind, "this is good-bye I guess…" backing up to the door he opened it slowly, turning around he was cut off guard when a man appeared in front of him. "Hello Roxas," "What do you want?" Roxas gasped out, backing up his heart began to race. "Just came to check up on you, and seeing as how you weren't at the redhead's place, I assumed you must be here. And look at that, I found you," Saïx stepped into the house, closing the door behind him. "Yeah, and what do you want?" Roxas forced his tone to be brave, to be cocky- he didn't want to act like he was afraid.

"He," he laughed, "I missed you of course," looking around Saïx noticed the now empty place, "moving out are we? You're supposed to tell me about things like this, you know, keep me informed," "It's non of your God damn business." Roxas replied curtly, still taking small steps backwards. Saïx didn't like that retort, It's all of my God damn business I own you, remember?" "You don't own me," Standing his ground Roxas didn't care what would happen he would make sure that the man didn't for another second believe he owned him. Stomping over, he shoved Roxas a few inches back into the wall, "Oh, I own you- I own every fiber of your being," grabbing hold of the blond hair he tipped the head back, watching as Roxas closed his eyes in pain, trying to not show fear all the while.

Pulling Roxas by the hair he dragged him outside into the now dark streets, throwing him into the car, slamming the door behind him, child lock on and window's locked while rolled all the way up, Roxas scrambled to try and slide out the front before Saïx could get in, but he never noticed one of the cronies sitting in the drivers side. "Ah," Roxas let out a surprised scream as Saïx sat in the seat he was trying to use as a passage way out, he was pushed back, his back slamming against the seat. "Sit still and be quiet," Saïx spoke harshly, he was going through the bag Roxas had on his back, full of medication he was supposed to take and some clothes, Roxas could see Saïx looking at the names on the pill bottles, "Prozac… it's a depression, isn't it?" "Yeah…" Roxas mumbled out, trying to not sound worried or afraid. "Valium, huh?" he tossed it aside, Saïx new his pills well, "These aren't supposed to be mixed you know?" he looked back at the child, Roxas knew- he knew how he felt while he took them which is why he tried to take only one of them at a time and rotate for one to the other, when he took them together he became a cocky son of a bitch, it wasn't that he thought he was amazing but rather he didn't care and was fearless of everything.

Pulling out another bottle he put it right back in, the pills he had supplied to Roxas to suffice for his new found addiction, the next one he pulled out he wasn't exactly sure what it was, "Prazosin?" Saïx looked back at Roxas, who was just looking out the window now, trying to ignore the man but when he asked again he could tell the man really wanted an answer. "Why are you going through my stuff?" Roxas could feel his heart beating faster, he didn't want the man to think he was scared still, he pushed on his bravo face, "What do you take them for, there's a lot missing out of it, and you just got the prescription a few weeks ago," Saïx held the bottle up so he could see the few pills in the bottom, it was in truth Roxas' favorite drug. It was silent for a little while then Roxas finally answered him, "To make me stay asleep…" Roxas didn't want to tell Saïx about it when he hadn't even told Axel about it, "So I don't have nightmares…" he always had them, every night, since he was small- sometimes he would scream himself awake- other times he would just pop open his eyes and soon be able to fall back asleep. Axel didn't know about it and Roxas was glad, thinking about the redhead Roxas remembered that Saïx had said he went to Axel's home and didn't find Roxas. Sudden fear over whelmed Roxas, did Saïx hurt Axel?

_**Again, Short Chapter I know- don't be mad D= but anyway.. I know where it's all going just getting there is kinda the hard part… well anyways either tomorrow, later today, or in two days there should be another chapter up- and that one will most likely be long :)**__**  
**_


	14. Chapter 14: Trust?

Roxas sucked up all his emotions and forced the question out, "What did you do at his house?" he didn't want to tell Saïx Axel's name but it didn't really matter, "At Axel's? Looked around to find you of course." That didn't really answer his question and Saïx knew that, looking back he saw the worried look on Roxas' face, "I didn't hurt your boyfriend… at least, not too bad," he looking out the window. There was no laughter or self-satisfaction in his voice, Roxas was curious and worried even more now. What had really gone down was a little less violent than Roxas thought but more aggressive than he hoped, Saïx loved Roxas and he knew he wasn't the best at showing it but when Saïx went to the house to find the redhead there- of course he was going to ask questions about their relationship. The only reason he punched Axel was just because Saïx hated the idea that Roxas wasn't only his, though he would be.

Saïx didn't have it easy growing up, and the way his uncle treated him Saïx morphed it into 'Just his way of showing love', he would've run away, if he had anyone to run to. His uncle was the only one he had in the world and just having one person that cared about the young boy meant the world to Saïx, even if his uncle was known as cruel and selfish, when it was just Saïx and the man he was loving and kind- at least to a certain degree, he was also sick. Saïx lost his virginity before he even hit puberty- because of his uncles love, but how was Saïx, an orphaned boy who rarely talked and had no one in the world suppose to reject the love of his uncle. It never occurred to him that it was wrong, that his uncle didn't really love him, but when Saïx was 15 the man died. Not knowing how to have an actual healthy relationship Saïx just stuck to what he knew, of course no one really got to him like Roxas did. When Saïx saw the boy for the first time he instantly fell into, what he would call, love, he hated hurting Roxas just like how his uncle hated hurting him- but as his uncle always explained, it was necessary at first.

Saïx didn't treat everyone like how he treated Roxas, in fact- Roxas was the first he ever treated like that, he didn't want to ever bring harm to the small boy and it hurt his heart- a strange feeling he had never really felt- to do so. Roxas was his and even though Roxas thought of that as bad, it actually saved Roxas from getting hurt by other dealers and people, once they knew Saïx owned him they were stuck to lay low, most people would never be as kind as Saïx was to Roxas, most would just use him and then leave. Reaching back he handed the backpack to Roxas, everything he had pulled out was returned inside- he just wanted to make sure there was no knives or weapons that Roxas would use on himself. Pulling up to the storage building that was their 'den' Saïx opened the door and Roxas stepped out, hesitantly. Though Roxas was wearing a hoodie- he was always wearing one, when the blond stretched his hands to wrap around the front of his bag, the sleeve pulled up just enough to show his bracelets and small patch of a bandage.

When he saw the bandage thoughts ran through Saïx's mind, he wanted to ask so many questions, he felt a pang in his heart at the thought that his Roxas hurt himself again, something the blue haired man couldn't stand to think about. Of course Saïx blamed himself for it, he knew what he was doing was hurting the blond- it hurt him at first also, and he promised that he wouldn't hurt the blond his promise broke when it was pushed to the limits though, he understood now why his uncle get carried away with him. Saïx tried to be as nice to the boy as he could, but he could feel the boy go rigid in his hands and tremble when Saïx pulled him closer, Saïx didn't want that reaction though- he wanted to boy to turn into his hold and find comfort, he knew he had hurt him but he also wanted Roxas to know that he hated himself for doing it. He wanted to apologize but he knew it would mean nothing to the boy, in truth he wasn't sorry for how he acted- just that he had hurt the boy, Saïx wanted to start anew, have a better relationship with the boy but he waited longer and longer to say anything and he knew by waiting he was just digging himself deeper and deeper away.

They were having a good time, at least Saïx was- the blond was up tight at first but the longer they sat on the couch, with Saïx's hold getting just a little tighter over the long time, Roxas had his head leaning comfortably against Saïx's shoulder, completely relaxed. Saïx thought of everything he could do that would make the boy more comfortable, for example- he steered every conversation away from anything Roxas might get set off by, when someone went to comment about something to Roxas- like the way he acted or his style of dress, Saïx quickly made a comeback before they were even done with their sentence so everything was focused on them instead. Everyone was just laughing and having a good time, just random chatter for almost two hours, and actually Roxas wasn't bored- he hated to admit it and in fact wouldn't but after the initial dismay of being with Saïx and what he could've done to Axel wore off, Roxas _wasn't _unhappy- though he wasn't happy either. Roxas looked at people, they didn't mind if he did- they didn't yell at him or give him an angry look for looking around, everyone was laid back and it was really the only time Roxas had ever seen those people _actually _acting like normal people.

Axel sat up, in utter confusion at first, he squeezed his eyes shut and popped them open- over and over again, his jaw hurt, and in the short time it took for his hand to touch his smarting jaw, everything came back to Axel. Scattering to stand up he ran to the phone- not knowing what to do, who to call, but he started dialing anyway. No one answered, he grabbed his keys and ran outside, not caring if he didn't have a shirt on or not, he drove to Cloud's house, knocking on the door over and over again but he got no answer- the sun was starting to rise now, how long had he been out? He popped his trunk and dug around to find a black beater, not caring if it was dirty or not he pulled it on and sat in the driver seat, could Roxas just be sleeping- maybe realizing how late it was and was too tired to walk all the way home? Thinking back to what had happened he tried to piece together the scattered memories, he picked up his cell and dialed a number, "Hello?" "Hey, Aqua, I don't know what to do…"

Hours later Roxas felt like falling asleep, he didn't want to be rude- especially to someone he knew would get angry at him, he tried to stay awake- he didn't trust the people around him, but his awareness was at a lower level than normal- meaning it wasn't supplying adrenaline to his veins to keep him awake. Just when Roxas was beginning to question how bad these men really were- a good thing, the rooms number died down to only four people, including them. Roxas didn't mind at first but he quickly caught on to what was about to happen, he watched a familiar crony take out the drug paraphernalia he didn't want to see, he felt on edge as soon as he did. Saïx could feel Roxas tense up, he would wait this time- he would let the other two go first, so they were so far out of their mind it was like they weren't even there. Once they were gone Saïx got the needle ready for Roxas, Saïx's arms now looped around the boy's shoulder, holding him still, Roxas murmured something out but Saïx didn't hear him. "What was that Roxas?" Saïx asked, he didn't stop what he was doing though, he kept on moving around and such- getting everything prepared. "Please don't…" Roxas whispered, he was shaking even more now- waiting for Saïx to snap at him and hurt him in some way more.

Saïx wasn't entirely listening to the boy when he spoke, he heard what he said but he didn't really comprehend it, "But this will make you feel better," he whispered in the blonds ear, feeling as the blond tried to wiggle away, "No…" he whispered out even more softly, Saïx sat in wonder. He wanted to snap at the child but when he saw the look on the boys face, one of fear and pain, he thought that this was the time that Saïx was going to try to set things straight between him and the boy. Setting the needle down he pulled the boy over to him again, so his head was resting once again on his shoulder. "Could you please… just…" his words faded out, he wanted the child to experience it with him, but he wanted to talk the boy into because he didn't want to force him. "I don't like it…" he whispered, feeling brave now that the man was actually listening to him. His small heart began to panic when Saïx stood up and gently pulled Roxas along with him, he was pulling him up to the bedroom, Roxas felt like he was going to cry right then and there, he pulled back, trying to stop from going up the stairs, Saïx looked back surprise and Roxas froze, he wanted to run away but the taller man would catch him and it would just be more trouble.

But still Roxas found himself slowly backing up, Saïx quickly realized what was happening, that the child thought Saïx was going to hurt him again, and while that slowly angered Saïx, he kept his cool and wrapped his arms around the shaking boy. Placing his hands on the blonds cheeks he made Roxas look up at him, "I'm not going to do anything Roxas… trust me." Roxas didn't want to, not after how much the man had hurt him, he was shaking so much but if he said no the man would just get angry, "Roxas, just trust me," he pulled Roxas closer and Roxas found himself breathing in the scent of the man, the blue hair man stood there, holding Roxas till he felt the blond give a nod, it had taken a few minutes and in that time Roxas was thinking a million thoughts per second. "He's been nice so far… he hasn't be his usual self… he hasn't yelled at me… or anything… he's never asked me to trust him before- and he's a drug dealer so… his words gotta be worth something, right?" Roxas nodded and felt Saïx slowly walk up the stairs, not grabbing his hand or anything, but knowing Roxas would follow, and hesitantly Roxas did just that.

Opening the door Roxas felt nervous, "Sit on the bed, near the wall," Saïx spoke softly, Roxas didn't want to comply but when he saw Saïx going through drawers to a bureau that he didn't even know was in the room he slowly approached the wall, the directions were simply because only one part of the bed was near the wall. He sat down, if he sat correctly his back would be towards the blue man but Roxas was turned to watch him, finally Saïx found what he was looking for and walked closer to the bed, sitting a foot away from Roxas, feeling a lump grow in his throat the blond tried to not look scared- though he was, God! was he terrified. After a small silence, Roxas heard the familiar _tink _of something, he looked into the man's hands to find silver handcuffs, he went to start talking- plea with the man, he hadn't even noticed he began to press himself against the wall and head board. "Roxas… Relax, trust me…" Roxas clamped all his words in a small box and tucked it away for a moment. Of course he didn't think he was over reacting by freaking out, but what if Saïx wasn't doing anything wrong- he already told him he wasn't going to do anything, taking a slow deep breath with his eyes closed, Roxas looked up through blond spikes to look at the man's face. Something he hadn't done since he first saw him in the alleyway.

"I won't make you do it," Saïx finally spoke, Roxas was shocked but he figured since the man had led him in a different room, but he still didn't understand. "But… I need it, Roxas," he had the boy look up at him, he wanted Roxas to look in eyes, "And I need you be here when I come to," he made a special emphasis on the word 'here', Roxas didn't understand where Saïx was going with it all, "I'm going to handcuff you to the bed-" Roxas went to protest but Saïx kept talking, "The door will be locked so no one can get in, I'll put the key under the corner of the door so I can reach to grab it to let you out," he reached for Roxas' hand but Roxas didn't want to get handcuffed, he didn't want to be stuck there, "No-" but Saïx cut him off, "Roxas, I'm trying to work with you, but you have to stay here," there was silence for a little while- Saïx watching the boys face, "I won't go anywhere…" Roxas finally mumbled out. Making the decision he would rather stay there 'voluntarily', rather than get handcuffed to the bed, "Roxas, I-" Saïx didn't believe him but like what Saïx had done, Roxas cut him off instead, "No, I'll stay here, in this room, and I won't go anywhere… just don't do that…" he looked at his hand and the handcuff that was about to close around it.

It made Saïx's heart soar when he saw Roxas fight back, Roxas had never really done that before, and for some reason Saïx loved seeing the child as a child for once, much more than he loved seeing the child crying and screaming in pain. But he still didn't know if he trusted the boy or not, with a deep sigh Saïx sat down on the bed next to Roxas, deep in thought- he wanted Roxas to be telling the truth, so when he got done with his fix he could come up here to find the boy, he would love that. But if the boy wasn't there when he was grounded again, he didn't know if he would be able to control his anger and pain the boy would cause him, "Roxas… I have to," he went to say again, standing in front of the boy, he wouldn't be able to have any type of functional love with the boy if the boy couldn't keep his word, "I promise, I won't go anywhere, I'll stay right here," he went to say more but Saïx cut him off, kissing the boy's forehead, he could feel Roxas panicking more, he distracted the boy with the kiss on the hairline while he hooked the cuffs, Roxas went to protest further but Saïx grabbed his other hand and Roxas felt something get placed in it. "I don't understand…" Roxas said slowly, Saïx had handcuffed his one hand to the headboard but then gave Roxas the keys so he could get away, "I won't lock the door, but Roxas, I have a reputation to keep… if anyone else walks in here- I want them to see the cuffs on you… It may seem cruel but if you wear them, it'll keep you under my protection and they'll know I'm in charge… do you understand now?"

Nodding, Roxas felt a small smile inside, Saïx was trusting him- and while the man made him sick to his hearts content, he felt like it actually meant something that the man trusted him. But before the man could leave he had one more last thing to say to Roxas, "Roxas… I'm trusting you… I was true to my word… please, I'm begging you… be true to yours," he kissed the boys forehead once more before taking his leave. "Saïx," Roxas spoke at the last second, right as the man was about to exit the door, it was a leap he was taking in saying it but he said it anyway, "Thank you…" Saïx smiled and shut the door, Roxas sat back, his wrist was relaxing and he didn't want to freak out every time someone came by and hook the damn cuffs, so he just slipped the keys into his pocket and fell off into a sleep, happy thinking that maybe the awful Saïx he knew and that would haunt his dreams was gone and this was the new one.

Now people are going to assume that something would happen- that Axel would come in and save Roxas but it would end up hurting Roxas more when Saïx woke up- if Roxas had been presented with that, he might have begged for it to happen, no, what happened was much more terrifying and scarring… Roxas slept peacefully in the bed, he hoped Roxas was okay, but something in him just told him that the red head was alive and kicking, and he very much was. Axel spoke into the phone talking to Aqua, "Roxas went to Cloud's to clean house and all that, I didn't think anything would happen… Saïx came to look for Roxas, he asked if he was with me, I told him no, he shrugged his shoulders… but he didn't leave, instead he stared at me for a while then asked what I was to Roxas- if I was his boyfriend or just a roommate, I didn't think to lie to him or anything, I said I was Roxas' boyfriend and the next thing I know I'm waking up on the floor…" he relayed everything for Aqua, he was terrified for the small blond and pacing around, he didn't know what to do- finally he and Aqua decided without words to speed over to the warehouse and steal Roxas back.

Roxas wasn't entirely aware about what was happening, he felt someone messing with his wrist causing some noise he knew he should recognize but he couldn't place it, feeling a soft prick in his arm he rolled over to look at the person but his eyes didn't want to open all the way- there was a fog spreading across his vision, but the person shushed him back to sleep and Roxas complied as he felt them pick him up.

Waking up again Roxas found himself in a moving car, sitting in the middle, a seatbelt drawn across him- his cloudy mind found it hard and complicated to get the damn strap off, he kept pushing his mind to respond but something in his mind was almost shouting at him to go to sleep- it was like he had no will. Everything was just a blur and took more energy than he cared to give, his mind wasn't getting any clearer by the time muffled sounds reached his ears, he was so out of it he couldn't even tell they were sounds- they just were. The person he was leaning against moved, softly guiding- or at least he thought, he couldn't tell- the blond over to lean against the person on his right, he felt himself get wrapped in warmth, they were arms but he couldn't tell, he just wanted to fall back- further into the tunnel that was obscuring his blurred vision. Feeling something tight around his arm he tried to move to get rid of it but his hand wouldn't move, the person holding him put his own hand over the boys- all the force needed to hold down his hand, a soft whine left Roxas' throat when he tried to move his arms, tried to get rid of the discomfort. It got a little worse before it got any better, he felt something painful in his arm- even more painful than the thing squeezing his arm, but soon everything faded back out and everything blurred, he tried to speak, what he was trying to say he didn't know, sounds swirled in colors as his vision sang to him and the smells rocked his body to unconsciousness.

Turning his head to the side Roxas felt out of it still, he didn't know where he was- he didn't even know to think to know where he was, slowly he opened his eyes and was engulfed in the color yellow, the walls were pale yellow- the ceiling a dirty unwashed white, the blanket and pillow were also pale yellow, he saw four men to his left, gathered around a very low table- it took him a second to realize it was just a coffee table and that he was laying on a bed. He surveyed the room, they were in a motel- or this was the bedroom, but he could see the dark wood colored door, cigarettes and lighters and other drug paraphernalia on the table, the men were only a few feet from him, he followed the wall his feet were almost touching, it continued on to his left towards the men for a few feet also- till it cut off and he could see cabinets and made the connection it was a kitchen. Looking to his right he saw just a solid yellowish wall, there was a window near the ceiling, but it was just out of his reach to see out of. He felt like coughing but forced the feeling away, instead he rolled onto his side- curling up into a ball, squeezing his eyes shut in hopes of getting the dizziness gone. When he slowly opened his eyes he saw a man looking at him, a stranger, he realized then- actually realized, that he was in a room with four men and he didn't recognize any of them.

One moved towards him, not all that much older than the blond, he crouched down, rubbing the boys cheek, the other noise in the room stopped as the men looked back at the blond. The slightly older boy was whispering for the child to go to sleep, that he had hardly gotten any- Roxas didn't make a connection or think of asking anything, all he could think was that the man's touch was gentle and soothing- he couldn't even think that! All he could think was that it was the idea of good, Roxas also didn't realize that small whines that had been barely audible in his throat could be heard by the boy as his stomach took affect from the sedatives he didn't know he had been forced to take. Soon Roxas felt his face turning into the bed as his body relaxed again and his eyes drifted shut, giving into the hazy surroundings he gave into everything as his eyes shut, the older boy took notice that while his eyes were shut and he was relaxing that the boy wasn't actually asleep yet, he continued his motions till he felt the boy completely and utterly relax and breathe easily.

_**Really sorry for the wait -_- … well… I'm finally getting where I want the story to go, and there should probably be some warnings for the next chapters … **_


	15. Chapter 15: Payment

Roxas awoke suddenly, looking around the room, panic setting in- he was in his right mind now- not completely right, but the halfway right were he doesn't recall specific details about how he got where he was at, but enough to know that it wasn't good and that Axel was a person of great importance. Silently he sat up and eased off the spring bed, the room was lit but he didn't know how far anything went past the wall to what he could describe as a kitchen, he started to tiptoe, looking cautiously towards the kitchen, there was no one, hearing a door open he looked at the front one, his heart racing, would he be in trouble? Would he get yelled at? Who was it? But the door remained shut, his heart still raced, he turned to look straight again and found nothing but a face in his own. Startled, Roxas jumped back and a small gasp left his lips, the man only smiled, standing straight up again- he was taller than Roxas but not as tall as Axel, he also wasn't as old as Axel… also, he didn't have fiery red spiky hair but straight silver that came to about his shoulders. "I'd been thinking you'd wake up soon," Roxas didn't know what to say, the boy had to be around his own age a few years older maybe. The silver haired boy scratched his shinny head, "Sorry, I'm Riku… And you are?" he blinked a few times and instantly Roxas wondered if it was a trait he did when he lied, "Roxas," he finally spoke after a few minutes, realizing he had been asked a question.

"Well, Roxas, are you hungry- I'm not all that handy in the kitchen, but I can make eggs," he was still smiling, waiting for Roxas to give a reply- any creepiness Roxas first felt was slowly starting to disappear, "No, thanks- but I'm not hungry…" he spoke out, wondering how the boy would act, the boy's eyes opened in surprise as he gawked at Roxas, "Really, you're not hungry, not at all?" Roxas shrugged, he was nervous now only because the man was a stranger- other than that Roxas felt comfortable enough around him. When Riku saw the shrug he laughed out his words, "Liar, sit down and I'll make you some eggs, you do like eggs- don't you?" Roxas was led to the small square table by the wall- further into the kitchen but there was another door on the wall, he looked at it wondering if that was the front door instead- though it didn't look sturdy like a door to the outside world would. "That's the bathroom," Riku spoke as he turned to start digging around in the small fridge to find eggs, Roxas turned around and gave Riku a look that meant, "Mind if I use it," to which Riku replied through the clatter of dishes and pans, "You're free to use it," Riku practically hid away in the cupboard as he tried to pull out a plate and a pan.

A few minutes passed and Roxas found himself looking in the small medicine cupboard mirror- it was as if he hadn't seen himself in days, he looked thinner than usual, picking up his shirt he admired his own stomach. Paying only attention to the fact that his bones stuck out even more than usual- almost sickly looking now, he couldn't remember the last time he ate yet he still wasn't hungry. Exiting the bathroom Roxas sat in the chair in the corner, watching Riku cook away, "I didn't know how you liked them… and since I'm a terrible cook they came out scrambled," he laughed nervously, Roxas just smiled back, it smelt delicious and that's when he realized he really was hungry. "Uh-… hey… Riku?… How-…" the blond kept cutting himself off, his mind was starting to get clear again and the questions he needed to ask were starting to come to him, Riku looked at him with concern- as if he had been waiting for the boy to ask about it all but didn't know how to answer yet. The silver haired boy forced a smile on his face while placing the food in front of him, "You should eat first," he sat down in the chair facing Roxas, the only other chair- though he was facing off towards the far wall, the one the head of the bed was up against- though the bed wasn't visible where they were.

Eating as quickly as he could Roxas felt like a waterfall had gone off in his mouth as soon as he tasted the eggs, he hadn't realized how dry his mouth was, instantly everything began to melt in his mouth, he finished off everything and Riku looked back at him with a smile, "Thought you weren't hungry?" "Yeah… guess I was, thanks," he made a motion to put the dish in the sink but Riku was quicker. The blond stayed where he was as Riku sat down where he was before, looking at the blond, this was the first time Roxas felt strange around the boy. "How old are you, Roxas?" "I turned sixteen this year…" he mumbled out, he didn't see where all this was going but let it go there anyway, "I figured we were closer in age- I turn twenty pretty soon," Roxas let out an 'oh' sound, he didn't think the man was that old- but it was just more random facts for Roxas to know.

"Why exactly am I here?…" he finally asked, Roxas didn't want to sound rude but he was freaking out a little, Riku looked at the table in thought, but the man didn't answer, instead he asked another question. "How long have you worked for Saïx?" Roxas almost tensed up at the mention of the name, was it because of Saïx that he was in the middle of God knows where? "Not all that long…" he replied after a short silence, when Riku didn't say anything he added, "A few months…" Riku nodded, he could feel that the child was up tight- scared out of his mind probably, he put on a smile, "Well you see Roxas, I work for someone too- doing pretty much the same as you, the man I work for is Vexen… you'll meet him soon… You'll also meet two other people- these are people you aren't supposed to meet so try not to give them too much attention," Roxas nodded the whole time, listening intently.

There was silence for a short while, Riku lost in thought, but Roxas was still confused, "Riku? Why am I here?" but before Riku could answer with another question like before, the door popped open and in walked four men, Roxas and Riku stared over in surprise at first, Riku settled down after a bit after he saw two blonds, a pink haired one, and a black haired man walk through and shut the door. "Ah, Roxas- your finally awake!" the pink haired one spoke happily, Marluxia- Roxas remembered him, he had seen him once before with Saïx, Roxas unintentionally shrank into the corner at the mention of his name. "Marluxia, everything's settled… just leave," the black haired one spoke, shaking his head before pinching his bridge between his eye and… eye patch. He looked back, gave a shrug and continued to look at Roxas, "I'll be seeing you again, maybe soon," he turned around to leave, and slipped away almost unnoticed by the blonds, Roxas almost didn't want him to go- he was the only one he knew and he clearly seemed to know him but the man was gone, along with the black haired man.

The two blonds continued to talk to each other, almost as if forgetting Roxas and Riku were in the room at all, finally they were done, turning around they looked at Roxas- waving for him to come over, he looked at Riku almost as if unsure- looking for encouragement from the silver haired man, he nodded for him to go over. Hesitantly he walked over, the one with short hair sat down while the other one stayed standing, once Roxas was right in front of him he grabbed hold of his chin and turned his face one way, then the other. "A bit of scarring… not all that much," the long haired blond said to the short haired one. "How'd you get that set of scars on your cheek," the standing man asked, letting go of Roxas' face, Roxas self-consciously brought his hand up to his cheek, feeling the scarring he received from Cloud. Roxas was silent for a short while, "My ward…" he finally whispered, "How?" The man asked again, sitting down next to the short haired man, not angry with Roxas' answer but not satisfied either. Taking a deep breath Roxas forced his voice to be calm, "… helping him to his room… while he was drunk…" they both laughed.

Roxas didn't understand why they were laughing, "We were told you were a good kid," the short haired man leaned back while the long haired one leaned forward, "And your ward, where is he now?" They still had a smile on their face, Roxas felt like he was being made fun of- a spectacle for their amusement, it made him very unhappy- almost angry. He didn't have to force his voice to be calm- the slight anger made his tone even enough, "He died," they stopped laughing at that, they must not have expected that for an answer, the short haired man went to ask "How,", but Roxas gave him an answer before he could get the word out- angry at how they were belittling him, "He killed himself… Almost a week ago." The long haired one gave a sigh and leaned forward again, getting down to business, "My name is Vexen, this is Luxord," he held up a hand to the other blond. "Yeah, that's just fucking dandy- tweedle dee and tweedle dum," Roxas thought in his head, tempted to say it out loud, he actually almost did but he quickly bit his tongue.

The one known as Luxord starred at Roxas, almost angry himself till he realized that the child was just embarrassed and felt belittled, then he laughed, sitting in silence for a short while Roxas sucked up the courage to ask while he could still force out an even tone. "Why am I here, exactly?" Vexen looked up at Roxas with a curious look on his face, Luxord looked almost sad- almost, more like he expected the kid to know but felt bad that he was now the one to break it to him. "Sephiroth…" Luxord started, Riku listening intently in the background- he didn't want to tell the kid but he also didn't know what to tell Roxas other than a few short things he knew- he also would be figuring out why the child was there. "Your father," Vexen added in, Luxord nodded, "Is very indebt on money you see," Roxas' head slowly started to turn towards the door though his eyes were locked on Luxord, "Him being an addict causes him to continually need more even while he's short on money, so we sparked a deal… You're the payment," at that Roxas ran to the door, opening it as fast as he could, Luxord and Vexen stood up and made an attempt to catch him, but he had the door open and slammed behind him- slowing them down even more.

Riku stood up, quickly walking over to the door, Vexen and Luxord were both running after the child, chasing him down the hall, he opened the door and watched Vexen's hair flying back as he turned to run down the stairs- the slowest of all of them. Roxas' idea of it being a motel was correct- though he didn't really care at the moment, he kept running, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment to push all thoughts out of his head and just run quicker. He was taken by shock when something strung across his chest and because of the speed he was running- knocked the wind out of him twice, once when he hit the object and again when his back slammed against the cement. Coughing a bit from the impact and pain Roxas rolled over onto his side, curling up into a ball, his chest began to hurt more from where it was broken, he remembered to try to get up- that he was supposed to be running but when he opened his eyes the black haired man was in front of him and grabbed tightly a hold of Roxas' arm. Pulling him to his feet, Roxas tried to run away anyway, but he was denied when the black haired man gave another tight tug and Roxas was now solidly stand on one foot, most of his weigh pushed on it since the man was practically lifting him off the ground.

"Heh…" Vexen laughed, finally caught up to both of them, out of breath along with Luxord, "Good thing I was down here," the black haired man said, giving Roxas a shake, "Tch," Roxas gritted his teeth, Luxord motioned for the black haired man to hand over the blond boy, he pulled Roxas up so they were face to face- Roxas wasn't out of breath at all, even after all that running Roxas could still run further, and Luxord took notice to that. "Guess we'll have to keep a tight leash on him," Vexen spoke, still out of breath, "Don't you ever do that again," Luxord spoke while looking into Roxas' eyes, though Roxas was looking away- towards the ground. "Do you hear me?" he gave the boy a shake again, forcing Roxas' to look up at him, Roxas was beyond pissed, beyond scarred, and beyond upset. Something in his brain reminded him that he needed to listen to these men- that he needed to not give them more incentive to hurt him, he looked down in front of him, allowing his body to go limp in Luxord's arms, "Good," Luxord and Vexen turned around and Roxas found himself being dragged back up to the room by the short haired blond.

Luxord pushed Roxas into the room, Vexen and the black haired man close behind. Roxas looked back up at Luxord- but the man was pointing to the bed, "Sit," he said in a very strong voice, Roxas continued to stare at him for a good few seconds before facing the bed and sitting on the very corner near the wall. The black haired man locked the door behind him as the two blonds sat down around the coffee table, Roxas brought one of his legs up to his chest, his arm pressing against his ribs- the room felt a hundred degrees hotter when his chest began to hurt. Setting his forehead against one of his knees Roxas focused on anything other than the pain- but he wasn't able to, at least the pain stopped him from crying. The three men had been talking the entire time, there was a pause and then Roxas found Riku crouched down in front of him, "Come into the bathroom with me," he spoke softly, Roxas was hesitant- curious as to why, till he looked up to find the other three men waiting for him to leave. Standing up he followed Riku into the small bathroom, "Why'd I have to come in here?" Roxas asked, sitting on the edge of the tub, his arm still grabbing his chest, leaning against the sink, arms folded in front of him, Riku spoke in a quiet voice, "They're discussing something, about you…" Riku added, watched the blond.

"Is something wrong?" Riku finally asked after a short while, he could tell the child was in pain but he didn't know why, "Well, other than everything…" the blond started, he hadn't noticed but he was bent over so his arm was sandwiched between his legs and chest- to try and remove all the pain from his chest. "I hurt my chest…" Roxas finally spoke out, Riku knelt down in front of the blond and tried to get him to sit up, "What do you mean?" Roxas took a deep breath- as deep he could with his chest aching at the moment, "I broke chest bones a few months ago… and I basically just got body slammed twice…" Roxas spoke out- it was the most he had talked since he had been there, the most he had talked to anyone other than Axel but he felt comfortable around Riku- even if that comfort was halfway forced. Riku nodded as if understanding now, shuffling around in the cupboard, Riku pulled out a bottle of pills- Vicodin, "If you want, I have these- you can only take one, but it's like extra strength Tylenol," Roxas nodded, he didn't know if he wanted to take any drugs- he hated drugs but one of the pills, just one- wouldn't do him any harm and instead get rid of his pain and set his chest on the right track where when the drug wore off the pain wouldn't come back.

Riku left the bathroom, the pill setting on the counter, he heard someone walking towards the bathroom- he quickly downed the pill, turning around he found Vexen opening the door, "Back to the bed," Roxas gave the man an evil eye, then looked at the ground- finding his way over to the bed in a hurry, he sat down where he was before. "This is Xigbar," Luxord finally said, getting the blonds attention, he held up his hand toward the black haired man, "If you _ever_ think of getting away- and decide to try, we'll send you with him…" Roxas didn't find it all that intimidating, "He's an expert in torture… after he deems fit, you'll return to our care, making up the time you wasted with him along with interest." Roxas didn't like that at all, but he still didn't find the man all that threatening, till Vexen began to speak, "You see, Xigbar specializes in a special… substance, known as Scopolamine… better known as Devil's breath…" That terrified Roxas, his body went stiff.

Devil's breath was a… special drug that when simply blown into someone's face- erased all of their free will, he had never been given it, but he had met a man once when he was younger who suffered and died because of it- because of everything he was recommended to do, and did. Vexen laughed when Roxas looked down at the ground again, Devil's breath was like a rapists favorite drug… Roxas would make sure to steer clear of Xigbar. They didn't' talk to Roxas for the rest of the time, Riku sat by him at one point and told him he should get some sleep, which Roxas respectfully declined. Instead Roxas sat further back on the bed- in the far corner by the pillow, his knees drawn to his chest, he tried to stay awake for as long as he could- he knew he should savor his first day because after that it would only go downhill, but Roxas didn't know what to expect but he couldn't think long because he soon found himself drifting off to sleep.

_**Hello. I figured I get some writing done seeing as how I'm home alone other than 3 little ones. I did most of this yesterday though- so my bad if some stuffs ain't right. Anyway, off to the next chapter I go!**_


	16. Chapter 16: The Inner Drive

Yellow over took Roxas' vision as one eye popped open and then the other, he didn't even know he had fallen asleep, but he had- folded up with his back against the wall, his knees brought up to his chest and his head resting against the wall. He tried to act cool- like he had been awake the whole time, but he knew they wouldn't believe that because everyone else was also awake, the three men sitting at the coffee table like they seemed to always be doing while Riku stood in the kitchen with his arms folded and eyes close. "We'll be leaving today," Luxord spoke to Roxas, though he didn't bother to look at the small boy, "You'll remain here, in Riku's care," and as soon as the thought crossed Roxas' mind, the short haired blond quickly got rid of the idea, "If you try to escape and maybe in some way succeed, Riku will be punished for it," that pushed his thought clear away. Though he didn't know Riku all that much, he didn't want to see the man get in any trouble or hurt in anyway~ the silver haired man had been nothing but nice to him.

Not too long after Luxord's words the three men stood up and left, leaving Roxas in Riku's care. They were silent at first, both waiting to make sure the men were long gone, "You hungry?" Riku smiled, Roxas went to shake his head but quickly he rethought that and nodded instead, there was no point in lying to Riku, and in any case this could be the only time he got to ate today- or tomorrow. The blond boy sat where he did the day before, resting in the corner while he watched Riku cook, he watched as Riku's face distorted to show panic and then relief and then smile as if proud- the man really was terrified of cooking. Setting the plate down in front of Roxas, Riku sat down across from him, a smile still clear on his face. "You really are good at cooking," Roxas said while eating, he watched as Riku's face showed surprise then smiled again, "All you've tasted is my eggs, and that's cuz eggs are all I can make," he laughed out, relaxing in the chair, Roxas starred at the food- while he was hungry because he hadn't eaten he also had no appetite because he was so confused on everything happening around him. Riku watched the kid for a few minutes, all he was doing was staring at his food, he wondered if he had said something wrong, "Hey, what's wrong?"

It took a few seconds for the words to reach Roxas but when they did he looked up at the sea green eyes, "Riku… what exactly is happening…" Riku's smile saddened but didn't look away or try to avoid the child's question, "What do you mean Roxas?" there was a pause before Roxas was able to piece together everything in his head to ask, "Well…the last thing I really remember was sleeping at Saïx's and… being in a car and- being here… and I don't understand anything about Saïx and Luxord, or Vexen, or the eye patch guy…" he started to ramble on, Riku nodded his head he could explain a little bit of that, but he was taken back when Roxas' face showed panic, "What?" "Does Saïx know all this? I mean… does he know I didn't just leave?" Roxas went to ask more but Riku held up his hand, a small smile on his face, "I'll tell you, okay, just calm down… finish your food too," there was a pause again, "Please?" Riku asked again, and quickly Roxas shoveled it into his mouth- no longer tasting it but just wanting answers.

"About Saïx, I don't know, Marluxia was the one who brought you outside, what he said and did I don't know," Riku saw the worry on Roxas face, "I'm sure Saïx isn't mad or anything…" there was a pause for a little while longer, "You know how Saïx deals with heroin? Well, Vexen specializes in things like… PCP and LSD… Luxord specializes in benzodiazepines," Roxas gave him a questioning look, he knew drugs but he'd never heard that one before- at least not that name, "Umm… it's basically the over all category for drugs like Brotizolam… Lendormin…" Roxas continued to give him a strange look, "Valium is in it's category." that one Roxas knew, Riku continued on, "And Xigbar, the one with the eye patch specializes in Devil's breath," "Why?" "What do you mean?" Riku thought he was doing a good job at explaining, "Why do they all specialize in a drug? Are they partners or something?" "Exactly… How do I put this… Well, you see, there's this man- he's in charge of it all… would it be easier if I drew out for you?" Roxas nodded.

Riku sat back down with a pad of paper and a black marker, he drew one stick figure at the top, "This is the head man, nobody knows his name or what he looks like, except for these two," he drew two people under the man- as if to make a triangle. "These two are the only ones who know the head guy, they're known as the Second Class" he then proceeded to copy his second movement and drew two men under each person in the Second Class, making it look sort of like a pyramid, he drew lines to connect them all. The first guy had two arrows, one each pointed to a man in Second Class, the Second Class had the same. Two lines under each of them that lead to Two of the four men below them on the Third Class. Each man then had another man drawn under them, so there was another set of four- the Fourth Class, the eleven figures filled almost the whole page. Riku then started to write, "This is Saïx," he wrote the name under a stick figure in the Fourth Class, then next to him he wrote Vexen, "This is Vexen," he moved up a class, so he was now on the Third, "This is Luxord," he wrote it above Vexen's stick figure, he moved over so he was now above 'Saïx', "This is Marluxia," he moved up one more, now on the Second Class, there was only two on that level, the one that followed up from Vexen was labeled Xigbar, Roxas nodded his slow understanding, "Then whose on the Second class for Saïx's side?" "I've never met him, I wouldn't know… You and me, we're right here," he drew another set of stick figures, Roxas' right beneath Saïx's and Riku's own right below Vexen's. (In case you don't understand how this is drawn out, I literally did… you can see it here, fytesgrasp. deviantart art/ For-my-story- 323115635 )

"Do you get it?" "Sorta…" Riku continued on anyway, "It was all created and organized so there would be less competition between dealers, everyone makes money this way and it keeps users involved with them- because they're such a big organization it's really hard to find any other dealer and even then, your previous dealer could have you ended." Roxas understood for the most part, he was a blond but he wasn't that slow when it was all explained to him, basically what Riku had been saying was a big gang of eleven people was started- each taking special care to a specific drug, making it so they wouldn't have competition and in the end would make more money. "Your father… Sephiroth, I know him… he's had a lot of problems with a lot of drugs… we shut down the last people he was going to… Your father is what I call a 'Poly-User,' he doesn't care what drug he's on… as long as it gives him a good affect," Riku paused for a second, "Sephiroth went to his previous dealer for weed, well… when his dealer was shut down we were the first ones he found, the first ones he came in contact with about drugs…" "What exactly did he 'buy' off you?" pausing again Riku knew this conversation was making Roxas entirely pissed off, and it should've, Roxas was sixteen and his father was selling him for drugs since he was a young child, but now he wasn't just giving him away for the night like usual, he was handing over the boy for months.

"Riku, what drug?" Roxas asked again, still pissed off, the only reason he hadn't run so far was because he needed answers and even then he didn't know if he felt about Riku- he didn't know if he could live with the man getting hurt. Riku waited as long as he could to answer, "30 2C-I pills of 30 milligrams…" Looking down, Roxas calculated it in his head, "For 450 bucks, I have to-" "He also bought some PCP," Roxas waited for how much but Riku wouldn't tell, "Why couldn't I wake up when Marluxia got me?" Roxas changed the subject, "That's because… we… drugged you- so they're wouldn't be as much of a fight…" Roxas felt his cheeks flame up, he didn't know why but he found himself embarrassed and angry, "Marluxia gave you a low dosage of benzo- just enough to make sure you stay unconscious," having anything injected in Roxas set the boy off even more. "Listen I'm sorry, okay?" Riku tried to reason with Roxas, who was storming around the room, "But… it won't be all that bad here, they aren't as low as Saïx… at least, they never have been before…" looking back, Riku had succeeded in calming down Roxas, the blond let out a sigh and tried to clear his mind of everything, maybe it wouldn't be so bad here- at least he had Riku.

"So how did you come to work for them?" Roxas finally asked, they were now both sitting on the bed, Roxas up near the head, his legs crossed in front of him while Riku sat at the foot with his feet dangling off. "Huh? You mean for Vexen?" Roxas nodded, "It's kind of a long story…" "Well… we're both stuck in here so I think we got time…" Roxas couldn't help the soft chuckle that escaped him, Riku was smiling nervously also. "Hmmm… Well, I was born to a exceedingly rich couple… once they got married though my mother's side of the family disowned her, but my father was still rich, I grew up with tutors and lessons everyday…" He smiled at the thought, "It was beyond fun… my father died before I could officially start school," "I'm sorry," "Eh, it's alright… the house we lived in was paid for by Father, so when he passed we lost the house. Out went everything we were use to… My mother still tried to make a good life for me though… She died when I turned fifteen," Riku looked down at the table. "We moved around from place to place a lot because she never made all that much money, as soon as I got old enough I tried to help out but she wanted me to pay attention to school rather than work. When she died I was homeless- I had no job, no job history, no way to get hired and make rent… I found my Uncle, Father's brother, he said he'd fix me up some place nice to work and in the process I could stay with him. He was a mean old man… I ran away a year after I found him, when I was seventeen, tried to find money on my own… I didn't get very far… I was sleeping in an alley- as cliché as it sounds, when Luxord found me, told me if I was clean he'd hire me… Thus started my working for Vexen." Riku smiled, causing Roxas to return one, though his own was sad.

They sat in silence while Riku's thoughts remained in the past, Roxas could tell the silver head wasn't extremely happy with his thoughts at the moment so Roxas tried to change the subject, "Where exactly are we?" Riku looked up at Roxas as if he had two heads, quickly he shook his head and just stared at Roxas questioningly, "I'm from Syracuse… Are we anywhere close to there?" "If you're thinking of running away, please don't…" "No, no, I wouldn't try under your watch… You heard what they said? I may not know you all that well but I'm not some heartless bitch," Roxas found himself flinching from his own words. "Thanks… well, we're in Schenectady right now… I shouldn't tell you, but yeah… we plan on moving back to South Side soon… we only came here because of you.. They didn't want you to be anywhere familiar…" Roxas nodded his understanding, though he wished they stayed in Central New York, for the same purpose they moved him away- because if he was in central, he could find his way around and have the upper hand.

Hours passed, another serving of eggs and before the two boys knew it, the sun had fallen, Roxas slept soundly for the first time in days, Riku promised to not try anything and if someone, like Vexen, Luxord, or Xigbar showed up- he'd wake Roxas to tell him. Slowly the blonds eyes popped open to the bright yellow room, and another day went by of talking- Roxas kept every subject on Riku, the short boy found time to get in the shower and have even more eggs and still it was barely past noon. The door boomed open and in walked a steaming Vexen and a strangely calm Luxord, the long haired one strew curse words together like a well educated pirate, kicking a chair in the process, Roxas looked at Luxord as if to hear a reason or explanation, finally Luxord let out a sigh, "Riku, let's take a walk," Riku seemed hesitant at first and Roxas' heart began to race as if sensing what was coming before his brain could process it. The silver head looked at each blond before Luxord waved his hand and Riku quickly followed, "Wait, what're," Roxas was cut short when he saw Luxord look back at him before shutting the door, "Fuck," Roxas cursed softly, he was left in a room with a venting Vexen, "Over here, now boy!"

Roxas was hesitant at first but he slowly moved closer at the long haired man's words, clearly the man had been insulted, or embarrassed- whatever happened had not been planned and Vexen wasn't handling it well. Finding himself pushed to the bed Roxas looked back to instantly have Vexen's lips crash against his own, the aggressive kiss was sickening, Roxas struggled, trying to get air and get away from the man, there was no way that he would let this happen, but still he found himself now pinned to the bed. "No," Roxas screamed in his head, unable to scream aloud because the lips blocked everything, "Get off, go away, Axel!" as soon as his mind mentally called for Axel something clicked in Roxas' mind. There was no way he was going to let someone else ruin him, he had to fight and he had to try to get a hold of Axel, Axel would save him, right? He called for the redhead in his mind over and over, thinking of anything he could do, he didn't have a phone on him, Saïx took it, and there was no phone in the room, but soon Roxas felt hands slip to the button of his pants. His heart was racing, his mind screaming, everything was hectic yet in a split second Roxas' mind was able to talk to itself and set a record.

"Axel isn't here, you have to protect yourself till he is, you are here and you need to stop this, this can't go on or you'll die," his mind screamed and once the fingers fiddled with his button he took a leap and kicked the man, not sure of where he hit. Vexen let out a pained noise before unlocking his lips and glaring at the boy, Roxas hadn't kicked as hard as he thought, but then again there wasn't really anyway for him to get enough room to make a strong blow. "Get off," Roxas finally muttered, the lips had returned to his own but he turned his head as far as he could, he pushed the man and tried to get away, instincts kicked in Roxas pulled the man's hair and used the second it bought to try and get away. Vexen only punched Roxas hard though, making his vision black out for a second and return in spots, he forgot to breathe in the small time but quickly he got back together and continued to struggle, somehow they were by the door now, all the way across the room, standing up now, Vexen had his hands clamped around Roxas' throat, making it impossible for the child to breathe. Reaching around Roxas found the door knob, giving it a turn it popped open and he found himself being pinned by Vexen in the hallway, Luxord at the end of the hall.

The blond hadn't realized how tight the man was squeezing, only that he needed to get away, but now that he was pinned under him he found the man squeezing exceedingly tightly, as if trying to kill Roxas, but Roxas was going to go down swinging if anything. He was gasping, trying to at least, blood from his nose running down his cheek- mixing in with drool from his open mouth, his eyes were watering but not of choice, black spots appeared in his vision and soon everything started to fade away, "I'm going to die… well, at least I tried… I'm sorry Axel," Roxas felt strangely happy- he was upset about leaving Axel but take that away and the blond was content, he realized he didn't care if he died, the only thing he was living for was Axel and as long as the man was around he would fight, even if that fight was what ended him.

He was jerked back though, his eyes were forced open by a person, but still Roxas wasn't breathing- more of choice now, it was just easier not to- his lungs stopped their aching and the blond found himself at piece, till he felt someone press on his rib cage. A cough emerged from nowhere, the blond wasn't aware but his 'fight' with Vexen had lasted almost five minutes, most of which Roxas wasn't breathing- though while it was all happening it felt like it was happening much quicker, like it had been seconds at least till he was pinned to the hallway floor. As soon as the cough left his mouth he rolled away, onto his side, as if trying to get away from the person, his lungs continued to hurt once again, but Roxas forced himself to sit up- his body on full alert again, he looked around to see only Riku, on the floor next to him. "Riku?" he questioned but his voice came out soft because of the forming bruise on his neck, the silver head stood up and walked to the bathroom, Roxas sat in the same spot, watching, Riku came back with a wet rag and a bit of toilet paper. Roxas just watched the man as he dabbed the side of his face, wiping off the blood and drool mix, he wadded up the toilet paper and shoved it up Roxas nose, the blond caught off guard shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut for a second, then proceeded to wiggle his nose.

"You look like one tough ass kid," Riku said, water was bunched up in the corner of Roxas' eyes, a bruise and red mark on his cheek from the hit from Vexen, the colors only making the scar a little more noticeable, and a dark bruise that seemed to wrap around Roxas' throat, dark and purple. The silver head patted the blonds' hair, his hair was sticking up more than usual and just made the child look younger, Roxas was still quiet though, looking around slowly he was sitting on the kitchen floor, he didn't see Vexen or Luxord, no one but Riku. "Luxord took Vexen for a little walk…" Riku stood up and offered a hand for Roxas, who gladly took it before sitting in his corner in the kitchen. The door slammed open and in walked Luxord followed by a still angry but strangely quiet Vexen, Roxas glared at Vexen, but didn't dare to glare at Luxord, or even make eye contact with him though he still found the short haired blond walking towards him, "He would've killed you," Luxord began, Roxas just continued to give Vexen the stink eye.

"Boy," Luxord said again, snapping his fingers to get Roxas to look at him, and when the blond did he held his look so now he was giving Luxord the evil glare- to which Luxord noticed and raised an eye brow at, quickly he looked back down, not at Vexen, not at Luxord, not at anyone. "I never imagined you'd act reckless, but if it is to happen again there will be consequences," Luxord spoke strongly, but almost quietly- adding to the seriousness of his words. The blond just continued to stare around the room, "We'll be back tomorrow, I suggest you think things over this time and do something less regrettable," he went to walk away, Roxas heart was thumping his ears from pure anger causing his mouth to move before he could even stop it, "I don't regret it," at the time he didn't think it was stupid to say, didn't think it was also reckless and in the long run hurt him more. Luxord turned back around to look at the blond, who found the guts to look up and return the stare, Roxas continued on, "You will," "No, I won't, cuz I'm not staying here, I don't care what deal you made with my father, my father has no control over me," Roxas wasn't aware but at some point he stood up, his voice had risen to a yell and all fear was invisible to him and to Luxord, Luxord stepped closer to the boy but Roxas didn't back down.

"If you try to escape, it will impact your father," "Like I care, he's never done anything for me except this," he waved his hand, referencing to Luxord and Vexen, Luxord continued to listen, Roxas never would in all his years vent like this, but he found himself doing it now. "I've gone through foster care, through being homeless," he started counting on his fingers but his eyes stayed locked with Luxord, "I've had to fend for myself, I have had no one there for me, the one time I was happy I let him take it away from me, I will not let him do it again," Roxas' eyes screamed murder. Axel was on his mind now and as long as he kept him there he wouldn't back down, he felt good around Axel- Axel made him feel like another person, the redhead never took pity on the blond but instead gave him choices to overcome his pain and choices to carry on, all the while making Roxas feel alive and loved. He continued to stare into Luxord's eyes till finally the man spoke, "We will be back tomorrow, expect to see your father," he nodded to Riku that he was in charge as they walked out the door.

Staying standing in the same place Roxas found himself breathing heavy, normally he would cut himself in this time- to calm himself down and make himself smart again but he couldn't, he wanted to prove to Axel- whenever he saw him again, that he could get through anything just because of the redhead. He stayed standing till Riku walked over to him, then he quickly stomped over to the bed, ignoring Riku, "Listen, Rox, I'm sorry," Riku started, he hadn't known what he did wrong but he knew the child was also mad at him, "Are we friends?" Roxas asked, his voice still a bit loud though he wasn't actually yelling, "Of course," "Then why'd you walk away, why'd you leave, you knew what he was planning on doing and you still just left," Riku paused, now he knew why but he didn't know what to say, "I was told to leave Rox- I didn't know what to do," "How about sticking with me, if we're not friends then I'm leaving right now, so tell me, are we friends?" "Yes!" Riku walked closer to Roxas, "Yes, we're friends, I just didn't know what to do, I'm sorry, I was scared and I wasn't sure what would happen, I didn't want them to get mad at me," Riku slowly inched closer to Roxas, Roxas just faced the bed and stared down, his anger dissolving and instead he became upset, "Axel wouldn't care about himself… he would stay," "Who, Who's Axel?" Roxas looked back up, he didn't mean to say it outside, he didn't mean for Riku to hear him.

"I'm sorry," Roxas hadn't realized the whole time he was with Riku all he was doing was comparing him to Axel, "Axel… he's… my boyfriend…" he finally spoke, he didn't know why it was hard to say but he found himself almost stuttering it out. "Rox," Riku sat on the bed, looking up at the blond, "I'm sorry but I'm not Axel," Roxas let out a small laugh as he wiped his hidden eyes, "I know you're not… I guess I was just wishing Axel was here," he felt more tears come to his eyes as he finally admitted to himself where he was and how Axel wasn't there. He felt arms wrap around him, again for a second he hoped they were Axel's but he felt the difference instantly and realized they weren't, it was Riku's arms. A few hours passed, Roxas curled in Riku's arms, the older man holding him while he cried but after the tears dried up, he still held on, Roxas began to tell Riku about Axel, about his fiery red hair and his electric green eyes to how the man acted and how Roxas loved him. By the time Roxas was done saying everything he could about the man he found himself sleepy and comfy- still in the man's arms, said man let out a small laugh as Roxas yawned, "I think you should be going to bed, Rox," Roxas shook his head but found his body getting moved so he was laying down, and before he could fight it his eyes closed and he fell into a peaceful sleep.

_**So a lot happened in this chapter :D R&R? maybe? Yes? **_

_**I think I'm going to reread my older chapters, because I know there's a lot of mistakes and I don't read over my work- but I shall try to fix all errors and what not so look forward to that :D**_

**_THANKS FOR THE 1,204 VIEWS! _**


	17. Chapter 17: To Live For

"Huh?" slowly teal eyes opened, Roxas was being dragged by Vexen out of bed, the long haired blond hadn't even bothered trying to wake the child up, but continued to pull the half sleeping boy till he was entirely out of bed and proceeded to slam the child against the wall, now Roxas was fully awake. Vexen tightened his grip on the child's collar, speaking closely to his face, "We're leaving, if you so much as take a breath with out our say so, you'll be visiting Xigbar and you can kiss your freedom goodbye." Vexen held him for a few more seconds to make sure his point got across before turning around and leaving, Roxas noticed that everything was different, the room was completely empty other than the furniture- there hadn't really been that much before but still, soon Riku walked in followed by Luxord, who motioned for the boy to come over to him. Roxas obediently listened, Luxord grabbed hold of his upper arm, pulling the blond closer to him, whispering into his ear while he looked over his head, all while pulling him so they were slowly walking out the door.

"We're leaving, you either agree to the blindfold or we'll place you in the trunk," Riku followed behind them, shutting the door, the three of them picked up pace, they walked down the hall and down two flights of stairs before they were outside in front of a cliché drug dealer car with Vexen sitting in the driver seat. Luxord gently pushed Roxas against the door, the boy was turned around so he was facing Luxord, "Have you made a choice?" the short haired one asked, "Not the trunk," he mumbled out, looking down, away from them, Luxord turned Roxas around while he pulled out a blindfold, tying it tightly around Roxas' eyes, pulling the child back gently he opened the door and set him down, child lock on the door just in case, window locked halfway down. Roxas sat silently, not moving at all, he felt someone sit next to him, he hoped it was Riku, the other person got in the front, Roxas looked in the general direction of the person next to him, "Put your seat belt on," Luxord told him, he couldn't tell where Riku was or where Luxord was.

Roxas was bored out of his mind, he didn't know what to do, he tried to sit as still as possible but it felt like hours ago that he first sat in the car, he thought about the time span in the most rational way- trying to judge how long it had been, he deducted that it had to have been maybe an hour. The blond started counting his heartbeats in his head, trying to get a closer guess at how long it took, he continued counting, but once he got to six hundred and twenty he fell asleep. He didn't know how long he was asleep- he loved riding in cars and always made sure to never fall asleep, but with not being able to see anything and only being able to feel the breeze- he couldn't watch the darkness of the blindfold anymore.

Someone was shaking him, he went to sit up but quickly a voice spoke, "Don't move," Luxord's voice was hushed, he heard the car door open across from him and in a few seconds the door next to him also opened, he felt a hand grab his upper arm and pull him out of the car. His legs almost didn't want to work at first, but quickly he got it together and started to command his brain of what to do. He listened to every sound he could hear, hoping it might tell him where he was but he heard nothing, the air was cold and he concluded that it must have been night, the man pulling him paused for a second and slowly inched Roxas forward, there was a step- Roxas figured it was a curb, and the man continued walking fast like he had been before, they walked up some stairs- Luxord telling him when to step up and when to hold still while the man opened a door, The blond heard at least four doors open, had gone up at least two flights of stairs before he was able to take off the blind fold, as soon as his eyes adjusted and he could see clearly he tried to back up, to get out of the room but the man behind him, Luxord, placed his hand on his back and pushed him forward.

Roxas was terrified, it was a motel room like the one before- the color was dark but that could have been just because it was night, but in the middle of the room, at a small circular table sat a silver haired man. Roxas kept trying to back up while his father looked him down, Luxord leaned down and whispered in Roxas' ear, "Express your thoughts to your father, Roxas," he whispered, an embarrassed blush spread across his face, soon after Luxord pushed him closer, he turned around to see Vexen and Riku standing behind him, along with Luxord of course. He inched closer to his father, who remained sitting at the table, he didn't bother to stand up for his son, Roxas was silent, he brought Axel to mind again, to give him any strength he could manage, but his father stayed silent. Time passed and eventually Sephiroth began to speak.

"I heard that you've been creating problems," the man stood up walking closer to Roxas but Roxas backed up, trying to keep distance between them but the man kept walking and Roxas remembered Luxord was behind them he turned sideways but was quickly pressed against a wall. "Well?" Roxas took a deep breath, he knew this would be the only time, if he wanted to break away he had to do it now, he let the anger swirl in his stomach before he finally let it out. "Yes," he went to continue but the blond didn't know what to say, he didn't have anything to go on. "Which creates problems for me…" he finally whispered out and that was what Roxas needed to get going, "I don't care," he mumbled, "You've created problems for me since I was born, when have you ever made anything easy for me?" His voice was quiet but still found it's way out, his father watched the spark in his eyes, "You've changed…" Roxas didn't back down though.

That is, until he felt a sting on his cheek, he found himself on the ground with his father over top of him, his hands on the collar of his shirt, the boy grabbed the cold man's wrists in an attempt to get him to let go. "Who was it who took care of you when you were born, hmm? It wasn't your mother," he spoke in the boys face, loud enough for the others to hear, "It wasn't you either! You were never there, you left just like she did!" he yelled, the only reason he stopped yelling was because his father had smacked him again, "No! I took you some place safe! I did that! I didn't abandon you in an apartment for dead, did I? I made sure you had a roof over your head while you still couldn't defend yourself, I left you with someone who could take care of you, and when she died, who was there!" Roxas gritted he teeth, his father wanted an answer but Roxas wouldn't give one. "Tell me, who made sure you were taken care of! I did that, I was there," "You were too busy getting high to notice anything, how many times did I wake up to find you gone, you left for days and days, no food, no note- not like I could read anyway, and you came back like it never even happened!"

"I always came back, and I always made sure you stayed alive… You think you have the upper hand, do you? I know why you're acting like this, and I know how to fix the problem," He started to walk away, quickly the free Roxas was following him, "What're you talking about?" his father spun around, "You're like this because of Axel, do you think I'm stupid?" Roxas felt his eyes go wide, his father gave a small laugh before turning around and going to leave, "If you fucking touch him, I'll kill you myself," Roxas threatened, stepping closer to his father, who quickly turned around and smacked him so hard Roxas flung into the other wall- thus began a fight of Roxas trying to punch his father while said man tried to strangle the boy all the while yelling their conversation, "I'm your father," "No, you're not! I don't want you as a fucking father, a father is suppose to be there for their child, you were never there, you let them take me away, you just watched, every time it happened you sat back and fucking smiled at it, and when you ran out of money what happened?

"You sold me, your fucking son? I should have run right then, I should've known it would just get worse. You let them put me in a Youth Facility- in Foster Care- do you know what happens to kids in there? And I finally had a family, Tifa and Cloud, and you took that away from me," "You didn't deserve them," Roxas was shocked by his father's words, while it wasn't surprising he didn't think his father would go down that road in that very moment, "But I deserved you beating the shit out of me and almost killing me my whole life?" They were facing each other once again, Roxas' eye's screamed murder and his father returned the glare- till his father let out a small laugh and in that small second Sephiroth had taken the upper hand. Swallowing hard, Roxas tried not to back down.

"You're lucky, I could've left you there to die- never bothered to check up on your mother, you would've rotted in that crib," "I was six months old!" "My point, I took you in when you were left for dead- I didn't have to do that," Roxas was silent, he looked down, he knew where this was going- it always went this way. "I wasted everything, my time, my money, my life- making sure you stayed alive, and what did you do to pay me back? You got me in trouble with police and social services… You're beyond ungrateful, my life would've been so much better had I left you in the crib to die," "Then why the hell didn't you?" "Oh stop with your whining, you're fighting like the whole worlds against you," "Yeah, why not? It's about time I figured out to talk back to you… Could you have maybe once in your life actually cared to do something for me?" instantly Roxas found himself pinned to the ground, his father smacked him first before proceeding to grab hold of his collar "You are my son, I'm not going to give up myself for anyone, I have a life," there was silence, "Then let me have one," Roxas could feel tears growing in his eyes, there was so much there, beyond words, that was being said, his father slowly loosened his grip but stayed pinning the blond.

"You're my son… I'm fixing all this, and it'll all go back to the way it was- I'll be back once it's taken care of," he went to stand up, but Roxas kept a hold of his father's wrists, "That won't change anything… I know you hate me and I know you want nothing to do with me, so why can't you just let me be?" his father just stared at him, his time for a response was lost to silence, he stood up, pulling his wrists free from his sons' hands, Roxas was left in silence- he remembered what his father was planning on doing, he stood up as fast as he could and attempted to run after the man, "Don't you dare touch Axel!" Roxas yelled, Luxord had strung his arm out to catch the blond- stopping the child in his tracks, his father yelled back, "The boy's dead~ because of you Roxas," there was a short silence, "I'll be back," and with that the silver haired man was quiet and gone. The spiky blond fought with the arm stretched across his chest, unaware of the tears streaming down his face, "Let me go!"

Roxas found himself sitting on the bed, his legs folded up to his chest, most of the red marks and bruises from Vexen were faded though his body still hurt from the fight with his father- not as much as his heart though. He cried at first, Luxord had held onto the child when he fell- the long haired man's arm still strung across him, he held the boy to him and convinced the child that there wasn't anything for Roxas to do, it only made Roxas feel weaker though. Tears still poured down Roxas' face, silently, he was lost in thought, all he could think about was the redhead, the warmth and the comfort of the man- that would all be gone. The child was so lost in thought that all he heard was, "Roxas… take this," he was a little hesitant at first, but he quickly took the light blue circular pills that had a cut out 'V' in them, not that the blond notice, out of Luxord's hand and downed the three dry, resuming his thoughts, so deep in those thoughts that he didn't feel the short haired blond sit next to him and eventually pull him closer. If the blond had heard all the words Luxord said, the child probably wouldn't have been so calm, or taken the pills, "Vexen, take Riku for a walk, I'll call you later."

Roxas felt strange, everything seemed calm, that's when he noticed that he was pulled under Luxord's arm as Roxas rested against his side, he thought about wanting to move, but his muscles were at ease and no matter what signals were yelling in his mind he didn't feel like it. He felt light, away, yet still strangely grounded, nothing was happening so he decided to wait and just let his body relax, he would fight if Luxord tried anything but the man wasn't. Said man sat Roxas up, the spiky blond was confused but didn't want to act like he cared, Luxord left but was back in a few short seconds, Luxord made the child look up at him, that's when Roxas realized that he knew the feeling, he knew what it was the man gave him, he'd just never had it in that specific dosage. Luxord held out another pill, this one though, was light pink- it must have been circular but the pill was now cut in half, Roxas looked from the hand to the man and back again, "Take it," the short haired one coxed, Roxas didn't want to- he realized now that the man was drugging him and though he tried to panic his body wouldn't let him.

A few minutes later Roxas was taking the pill, Luxord promised that the pills wouldn't hurt the child and instead make him feel better, he swallowed it and Luxord returned to his side, pulling over the child. "How do you feel?" the man asked, looking down at the blond hair, there was a long pause before the child answered, Roxas didn't know how he felt, he felt light, yet he felt groggy like he was being dragged down, being completely relaxed and comfortable- his mind couldn't grasp any of that though, the word slipped out on it's own before he even knew to stop it, "Sleepy…" he felt Luxord give a chuckle, his body was acting two steps ahead of him- the blond had softly nuzzled his face into the side of the man, it was a small move but it spoke volumes to Luxord, it meant that the drugs were kicking in and soon he could do as he pleased.

_**I love AxelxRoxas/AkuRoku but some shits bout to go down! I'm really excited to type it all xD but just know how much I love this couple, and if you're a loyal fan, please stay loyal :D **_

_**Also, why you no review? I love reviews, even if they're just pointless ones that say 'Like', 'Good/bad/amazing/'how ever you think the chapter was' chapter', coommeee onnn I like to feel important! XP**_

_**THANKS FOR THE 1,365 VIEWS **_


	18. Chapter 18: To Die For

Axel got out of the car, it had been two days since he had last seen Roxas, every minute and every hour stabbed at the man's heart- he called everyone he knew, he scoured the town, but every second just reminded him more that he failed Roxas. He slammed on the door, he had tried once before but he was out numbered- now he didn't care, he slammed on the warehouse door again and again until someone finally answered. It was a crony- no one important, he shoved pasted them until he saw a blue haired man, "Saïx!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, the man jumped up, standing up now he stared back at Axel, that was when Axel noticed another blue haired person sitting on the couch, "Axel," Aqua stood up.

"Where's Roxas?" "Axel, he's not here…" "How do you know that," Axel hadn't realized it but he was yelling, he was also trying to attack Saïx, but Aqua had gotten between them, "Axel, just sit down- we'll tell you, okay? Just sit down…" "Just tell me now," the redhead was in no mood to sit still, he had barely even slept, "What did you do to Roxas?" he asked Saïx, the blue haired man seemed hurt by that but just sat down instead. Aqua found her way to sit down again but Axel stayed standing and stood in front of them, watching as the man slowly began to speak. "Roxas was taken…" "What! Then where the fuck is he! If you did anything to him-" this time Saïx was the one to freak out, he stood up to stare Axel in the eye, "Sit the fuck down, you think I'm happy that he's being hurt right now? You want to find out what happened to him shut the fuck up and listen, you being pissed off isn't going to help anything," normally Axel didn't handle confrontation well, any other time he would punch the sucker in the face, but instead he just stared at the man, forcing himself to take deep breaths before plopping down on the couch, he had to find Roxas.

"Roxas was here… I left him up in the bedroom," Axel's eyes caught fire in a second, "Nothing happened, he got here, we all sat on the couch for a few hours, he went to bed. Sephiroth is down on money," "Who's Sephiroth?" Saïx stared at the redhead, "Roxas' father," the blue haired man couldn't believe the man had been with the blond for so long and still didn't know anything about him, he continued to stare at the man in disbelief, something in the back of his mind started to tell him that Axel didn't deserve Roxas. "So? What's that have to do with anything?" the redhead was still antsy and while it wasn't good, at least he wasn't beating in faces. "Do you even care about Roxas?" Saïx finally asked, he couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Of course I do, I-" "Because you don't seem to know anything about him, which to me seems like you don't give a shit about him," Axel went to retort but Aqua cut in, "Will you all just shut up, Axel, Sephiroth sells Roxas for drugs, now let Saïx continue." she was just as short tempered as Axel.

The redhead was shocked into silence, this was something else the blond had been able to keep a secret from him- was he really so blind? He took a breath and waited for Saïx to continue. "The man from the rank above me, took Roxas," Axel went to say something but Saïx kept talking, "He took Roxas to someone else… Even if we knew where Roxas was we wouldn't be able to do anything because Roxas has to stay with them for how ever long his father sent him there for." "I refuse, tell me where he is," Saïx was stunned, "Do you think that's really how it works? I refuse- that doesn't fucking mean anything, I can't tell you and it's not like I know!" Of course Axel knew that that wasn't how it worked, but he wasn't himself with out Roxas. Standing up he stormed out, Saïx spoke to Aqua, "I'll find out everything I can," with that the blue haired people separated as Aqua ran after Axel.

Pulling up to his house he stared at it, it was just some lousy 'apartment' really it was just some renovated motel room, and in that instant Axel realized that he couldn't call that place his home unless Roxas was there. Aqua opened his door, he looked up at her almost in shook, "Come on," She walked up and unlocked the door, with the problem that had happened with Roxas and Saïx- what felt like years ago, Aqua had been given a house key, she left the door open and turned on the lights. The redhead just realized it was night, finally he climbed out of the car, once inside he saw Aqua in his kitchen, he wanted to ask what she was doing but he really didn't care, she turned around with a bowl of cereal in her hand, "Eat this," "I'm not hungry," "I don't care, when was the last time you ate," taking a leap, she continued, "You're just like Roxas, don't shove food down your throat you'd let yourself starve," Axel gave a small smile at that, Aqua mentally let out a sigh, she was glad Axel wasn't too far gone. Sitting on the couch he slowly ate the food, though his stomach was screaming at him to eat- he hadn't had any food since the night before Roxas was taken.

The food was gone but Axel still found Aqua nagging him, "What do you want me to do now?" he groaned out, he was sitting on the couch with Aqua in front of him, a hand on her hip while the other hand pointed behind her, "Bed, I know you haven't slept- I can see it all over your face, you're acting like a slug and your driving was awful," Axel just continued to stare, "Bed, now," slowly he got up, now laying in bed he stared at the empty space, everything hit him stronger like a wave when he saw everyday life and the empty spaces that Roxas once was in. But need for sleep over took his loneliness and he was soon lost in dream land.

Aqua called Saïx everyday, asking for anything new, while Axel moped around the house, he sat on the couch, head resting on the arm rest, Aqua came up out of nowhere and reached into his pocket, "What the hell?" she was clicking various things on the phone before she asked, "Who's Larxene?" Axel didn't get where it was all going, "She's my boss…" which only reminded him that he hadn't shown up for work in a few days, he didn't care if he got fired, "Who's Reno?" Axel looked over at her, "My cousin…" "Are you guys close?" Axel was silent, "When we were younger we were… we haven't talked in a few years…" "You care if I take his number?" he replied with a grunt, he watched as she looked from his gray and black phone to her own electric blue one, his eyes drifted to the rug, "Hello?" he looked back up at her in shock, "Who's this? Okay, well I'm Axel's friend, he's going through a rough time right now and I just figured someone else should know… my names Aqua… well…okay, goodbye," "What was that?" Axel almost felt betrayed, "That? That was just me seeing if it was his number and informing him that you're moping about."

Almost a week had passed since then, each day continued to stab at Axel, he heard Aqua on the phone, watching her he waited for her to respond, she hung up the phone and set it down next to Axel's own, "That was Saïx… Roxas is back in Syracuse, he got back last night, Saïx is going to try to get a hold of them and see if he can spark a deal of some sort," Axel walked out to the kitchen, he went to grab his phone but Aqua turned him around, "What do you think you're doing?" the redhead grabbed the phone closest to him and put it in his pocket, "I'm going to find him, I can't sit here and act like everything's okay," he turned around to walk out of the house, but Aqua was quick on his tail, turning him around she blocked him from getting to the door, "You needed to let it all be settled by Saïx, you don't know what you're doing," "I don't care!" he stormed through the kitchen, seeing his phone sitting on the counter, he could've sworn he put it in his pocket but he must have been wrong, he put his phone in his pocket and left through the back door.

Driving around for hours, Axel didn't see Roxas or any one out of place, how was he suppose to find the child when he had no idea what he was looking for? Finally he saw something familiar, jumping out of the car he yelled at the man, "Sephiroth!" the man turned around a deep frown on his face that quickly turned into a smile, "Axel, just the boy I wanted to see," the redhead wasn't sure but some how they were now deep in an alley way, "Why the hell would you do that to your son, your flesh and blood?" Axel was pissed but the lack of sleep only made him a fuse- sparking but no actual flame, "I needed money, the child owes me his life- he's making it up to me." Axel wasn't sure when but he flung a punch at Sephiroth but he dodged, kicking the boy in the side got the redhead to fall to his knees, "Did you know I was in the military, I'm an ex-SOLDIER, much like my charming brother- but he left all to soon," Axel didn't know why he cared but he let the man continue, "Oh, that's right, you didn't know… in fact, Roxas never even knew… Cloud Strife was my younger brother… it sad to say, he was so timid and scared of everything. I protected him when we were younger but some how that just made him hide away…"

"Why do I care?" Axel finally asked, sitting up again, he wouldn't let it show but his side was burning in pain, he didn't know but his ribs were cracked, "No reason I guess… I just figured someone should know… He hated drugs, he hated alcohol…" "Could've fooled me," Sephiroth let out a small laugh, "I forced him to do drugs when we were teenagers- it helped me, I figured it would help him too… but he was able to get away physically- without the drugs, he met that bitch," he bit off the word, "She changed him, mocking me, showing me that while Cloud was quiet and shy, I was the weak one who couldn't get over anything, he had a life… a wife, no children… Roxas was taken away from me and just by happy coincidence Cloud becomes his therapist? It was the universes way of telling me to take the chance… I got back in his life and you know what happened?" Axel was silent, "He fell. His world tumbled down again. I was the ghost that haunted and plagued his life- I figured if I was around him, he would lift me up, but instead I pulled him down."

The silence lasted longer and this time Axel spoke, "Why are you telling me all this?" the silence continued and Sephiroth erupted with laughter, "I figured I'd tell someone, and why not tell the boy I'm about to kill?" Instantly he punched Axel, sending him falling to the ground, he began kicking the boy over and over again, hitting his ribs and arms- arms brought up to protect his face. Screaming out in pain Axel tried to time his moves right to get up and punch the man but he wasn't given the chance, the man kept hitting, Axel's body was shaking in anger and pain, warmth and stinging pain spread across his chest, torso, and arms. He continued to scream out in pain, suddenly everything slowed to a crawl, he was pushed onto his back, "Kids these days with their fucking cell phones," he pulled out the small device and smashed it on the ground, Axel turned his head watching the man smash it to bits over and over till it was almost unrecognizable, "Just in case I don't kill you," he smiled at Axel but the redhead couldn't really tell, "Why?" his ribs grinded against each other- broken and trying not to collapse. "Hmm? Why am I killing you?" he started pacing around, "My Roxas was… well… mine, with you in his life he fights me, he argues, he acts like a child, take you away and what's left?" he paused, "my Roxas."

He stepped closer and with one last slam of his foot he stomped on Axel's stomach, he would bleed to death soon enough, if his ribs didn't collapse first- the boy was on the road to death, slowly and painfully, if found he could live, but no one would find him and his phone was smashed, he would die soon, before the night was through, Sephiroth listened to the boy try to breathe, wheezing loudly, though his breathing was paced average, he would suck in air pause and then let it out quickly. Axel watched the man walk away his head turned to look at the smashed cell phone, he had little energy- almost none, he could maybe move his hand but that would get him no where, the last thing he saw before he faded into unconsciousness was dark gray buildings, the dark wet pavement, and bits of blue scattered around him. He could wake up later- but what would he do?

_**SOOOO another chapter up today, I know the last one and this one are really short but hey… review anyway?**_

_**And **__**don't spoil suspense :P**_

_**HEY! LOOK HERE!**_

_**I need people's opinions, I have the idea's for a story, I've had it for a while and I don't know whether to start the story now or to finish this one first. It is another Axel/Roxas story, there'll also be Sora/Riku, Demxy/Zexion, Reno/Rufus, and possibly others... so now? or wait till this story is over? **_

_**I might get a preview up and see how that all goes... but, I don't know**_


	19. Chapter 19: Shame

_**This chapter is basically just… something along the lines of smut… I don't like it at all and I'm extremely uncomfortable writing it but I tried and I just wanted to use this for the future because it's going to hugely impact the way Roxas thinks and such. Also, to the anonymous person who commented: dually appreciated :D and my thoughts exactly **_

Luxord was using pills to get the emotional child to play in the palm of his hand, already having given the blond three and a half pills, he pulled out two more pills, small, circular, and dark red, he held them out in front of the boy, "Take these," he whispered, just loud enough for Roxas to hear, said boy could only stare at the hand for a few seconds before slowly shaking his head. "Why not?" he asked, Roxas didn't _have_ to take these ones- but it could help the child a bit, "I don't want anymore…" he sounded tired as the words lightly came out of his mouth. If Luxord hadn't heard he would have been out of luck because Roxas was in a drive that was dragging him, he had no energy to repeat himself, Luxord could tell that would happen just because when Roxas spoke the four words were slurred together and came out all in one breath.

Testing his drugged up blond, Luxord leaned to the side- away from Roxas, and just like he planned the blond followed suit, staying against his side. "Lay down, Roxas," Roxas stayed still, he was laying down- against the mans side, "On the bed," he added, Roxas realized where it was all going-slowly it dawned on him, he pushed himself to sit up straight, which was hard on its own when his muscles were refusing to lift and shift his body. He stared ahead, "Roxas?" Luxord asked cautiously, watching the blond look off into nothing, "Why?" his voice was hushed, Roxas wanted to look up at Luxord- he also didn't want to, but it didn't matter because he couldn't get his head to move. Luxord moved to be in his view, kneeling in front of him, "Why not?" he asked quietly- not to mock but searching for an actual answer, Roxas was staring off still, his gaze had dropped a bit, "It hurts…" he mumbled out, he was so tired he just wanted to sleep but he couldn't- it wasn't safe and he was sure Luxord wouldn't allow him.

"The pills will make it so it won't," Luxord said, watching the boy's half closed teal eyes, "_Physically or mentally_," he added in thought. Slipping the pills into the boy's hand he watched and waited and in a few minutes when he presented the boy with a bottle of water Roxas took the pills. He held the hands of the boy and moved slowly, sitting on the bed once more he rubbed the child's back, pulling Roxas to lean against him, letting go of the hand he placed it on the boy's cheek, softly getting Roxas to look up at him he planted a kiss on the boys forehead and even more softly and slowly pressed his lips against the boys. A simple but long kiss, all the while he moved Roxas so the child was laying down, once said child was unknowingly pinned below him he pulled away gently, he could see the small blush on Roxas cheeks- from embarrassment more than anything else. That's how it continued for a while, Luxord planting kisses on the boy and Roxas using the same amount of force as the man- not much, in trying to push him off.

Going to take off Roxas' shirt, Roxas was able to tap into any strength he had and stop the hem from lifting any further, Luxord watched Roxas' face, he watched it contort to resemble fear, embarrassment, shame, and something else he couldn't quiet place. "Roxas, it's okay…" he whispered into the boys ear, continuing to pull the shirt up to reveal a boney but otherwise flat stomach, to a still lightly bruised chest and finally he was able to slip the fabric off. Roxas was not at all happy, but with that being said he also wasn't upset or angry, with the drugs in affect everything had seemed less dramatic or important. Luxord trailed a hand down Roxas' chest, stopping at all of the deepest of scars on the boy, he eyeballed them all as if memorizing them, he looked back up to the face of the boy but Roxas was looking towards the door- a sickened and shameful look on his face.

At some point Luxord had taken off his own shirt and pants, along with Roxas', leaving both of them in just boxers, curling in his stomach Roxas had felt something he had never felt before, the feeling made him sick but the pills kept him for doing anything. The boy's mind drifted- getting as far away as he could because he knew what was going to happen and he knew how it would tear at him, better to remember less. He was so far away he didn't feel the hand trailing down his stomach, over his protruding hip bones, but his breath stopped for a second when he felt that same hand grab hold of him, his head turned to look at the man- to tell him to "stop," but as soon as he saw the face he felt disgusted with himself and could only look away again. His heart began to beat faster though he was still under the effects of the drugs, finally he forced the words out, though they were quiet and weak and the only way he could do it was by staring off.

"Please… stop…" it didn't hurt, and that was the problem. Luxord slowed down his actions but didn't stop, with a sad face he watched Roxas, the boys breathing was starting to change and the man could tell the sudden reason for Roxas to speak was only because he was starting to actually enjoy it- something that was making the boy sick, he knew he was supposed to hate it and supposed to fight him but he couldn't when his body was halfway asleep. And after the initial problem of it all, Luxord realized then, whether or not if it was forced- Roxas was still afraid. Leaning down again he gave the child another simple kiss, and he trailed as many kisses as he could till he reached the boy's ear, softly he whispered to the boy, "Roxas, I promise… this won't hurt," without moving his face away from the boy's he began to quicken the pace with his hand, passing the speed he had been going before, and the sudden onslaught had caused waves to erupt in the lower stomach of Roxas, he couldn't help how he reacted- he was so bombarded with it all that he had no time to hide anything.

The waves rolled up his body and slowly diminished as they traveled up, causing him to take a sharp intake of air and turn his face- in an attempt to turn his head the other way but for two reasons that had not happened, one: because he didn't have enough control over his muscles, and two: his cheek was now pressed against Luxord's. He also couldn't stop the small noise that had escaped him as his body felt like it was going haywire, it was quiet but with Roxas' mouth so close to Luxord's ear- the man heard it and smiled inwardly, he kept his pace up and continued on till he could start to feel the sporadic heart race below him, he slowed his movements down to a crawl and placed his lips on the boy's own once more. This time it wasn't a simple kiss- Roxas couldn't stop him and frankly- he didn't want to, he found another tongue in his mouth- it tasted strange but not like acid like how Saïx tasted- that taste was haunting. Roxas could barely focus on anything, his mind felt like it was thousands of light years away, but he still heard the small clicking of something, something had in fact been popped open and then popped closed.

Roxas of course wouldn't admit it but when he felt the hand snaking its way back down his heart race quickened- not only of fear though, he _wanted_ Luxord to continue now but he was still terrified of the pain. He felt the hand ghost over his hip and continue downwards, going down his inner thigh, a gasp jumping from his mouth when the hand rested on his backside and a finger began to poke at him, the movement was slow but still a memory of Saïx came jumping back into his vision, of the way it burned and ripped- how it hurt, he tried to push the man away, not very much force for the simple fact that his muscles were still forced to be relaxed from the pills. Returning his lips to the boys Luxord caught him off guard- for a split second, but in that split second he managed to slip a lubed up finger into the blond, in shock from the intrusion Roxas wiggled even more to try and get away but Luxord continued what he was doing.

Trapping the boy's lips he held them against his own as he slid yet another finger in, slowly pulling back a bit to watch Roxas face, his eyes were practically closed but shown brighter because there was such a prominent blush across his cheek, his eyes began watering from the sting, he remembered the sting he felt before, from Saïx. That pain was far worse, where as the one he was presented with in that moment was hardly anything, the fingers continued to work inside him and after a few minutes no longer hurt, the movement of the fingers slowed but stayed inside him, Roxas could feel as Luxord started poking around inside him softly, of course he didn't know why though. A gasp froze Roxas in his place when the fingers brushed over something, the man froze also, he stayed pinned on that spot and ever so slowly brushed against it again, another gasp erupted.

Yet another finger was pushed into him- stinging more than the last, he bit the inside of his lip to stop any sound of pain. Half of Luxord's own pleasure was found by pleasuring others- the main reason he was being so gentle with the blond, he basked in getting an innocent being, like Roxas, to moan and scream in pleasure, he began kissing him again, his fingers working to stretch the child, Luxord almost couldn't take it anymore- he forced himself to calm down, he pulled his fingers out of the blond. Roxas had resorted to covering his mouth with the back of his hand to stop the moans from escaping, but his hand didn't hide the whimper that left him at the lost digits, the small noise made Luxord smile again. Softly he pulled the hand away from his face, stretching both of the boy's arms up above his head he held them in one hand by the tiny wrists and watched the face of the blond as he pushed himself slowly and gently into him. Roxas' breath become uneasy and this time he couldn't control the tears that grew in his eyes, he wanted it to stop but couldn't bring himself to say anything, instead Luxord continued to push till his hips rested against Roxas.

Luxord gave Roxas three muscle relaxants, stretched him out, and got the boy hard as stone yet he was still almost unbearably tight. Returning his now soul free hand to Roxas' own sex he started moving his hand and rocking his hips, watching the boy's face all the while. It hurt, but it was just bearable, nothing like the pain caused by Saïx, the hand quickened on him while the hips slowly backed up more before pushing back in deeper, every little tweak that had originally hurt or been uncomfortable was slowly washed away with Roxas wanting him to do it again, he stayed silent though, his body felt on fire yet he didn't want to stop anymore. Pushing in had become easier and he could tell by the way Roxas had relaxed and then struggled a bit again that the boy wanted more, he moved the boy's arms so they were no longer pinned above his head but now out to the side, "Roxas," Luxord spoke, his pace was slow and continued to slow down till he was buried deep in Roxas- he didn't want to stop but he wanted to do what was to happen next far more.

Finally Roxas was able to open his eyes almost all the way, he felt strange looking the man in the eye but Luxord continued to say his name till he did, said man held eye contact with Roxas, ever so slowly he pulled almost completely out making sure Roxas kept his eyes locked with his own- and that's when he truly began to move. Pushing in as deep and hard as he could he pulled out just the same, over and over again, Roxas felt like waves and electricity were shooting through him- his back arched off the bed and he threw his head back- he couldn't help the moan that escaped him, and it was exactly what Luxord wanted, he studied the eyes in great detail till the eyes fell shut and the head turned back. When the older of the two could feel the waves leaving the boy he let go of one of the boys hands and pumped the boy as fast as he could- he himself felt like he was going to go insane and he was sure Roxas was just the same. His speed kept increasing and seemed almost impossibly fast, causing even more noise to leave the blond- of course it wasn't as loud as he would have wanted, but at least he was able to hear the blond.

Roxas felt like a tsunami- he decided, everything rushed up on him and pulled back a little only to slam full force against him, his skin felt like it was shivering above his body, he wanted more of everything- every sense was on edge to such a degree with his hormones lacing everything in fucking amazingness- everything felt beyond amazing but it only kept rising and everything seemed so intense- almost as if he wasn't drugged. It slammed against his body with such force that his breath stopped and he couldn't stop the moan that escaped through his gritting teeth, a heavy weight fell on him but he hardly noticed, everything he felt was quickly gone and replaced with what he had originally felt- sick, drugged, and tired. He couldn't believe he had done that, couldn't believe he had let it happen- but then again he couldn't really care about it in that moment, his head was turned to the side so his shallow and quick breaths wouldn't interfere with Luxord's own as they instead beat against the side of his neck. The boy determined in that moment, thinking of everything and placing it in that one instant- he hated himself.

His eyes were half closed and all Roxas wanted to do was slip off into the land of nothingness and not care anymore, he was sick and tired beyond a doubt, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to fall one step closer to comforting death.

_**-hides away- It's awful, I know! But please don't hate me D: **_

_**School started and it's… very long… I'm gone for 9 hours everyday- on a short day D: but at least this school's awesome (I'm new this year) they got me taking 10**__**th**__**, 11**__**th**__**, and 12**__**th**__** grade classes- Summer School sucks and I'm only in 11**__**th**__**! Annnnyywwwayyyy this means the chapters might be more spaced out… I plan to upload a chapter every Monday AND every Thursday- I don't know how that will work out though. But it's a plan and it's more manageable than a chapter a day DX**_


	20. Chapter 20: Gone

He felt comfort for a few seconds, but before he could numb the echoing voices eating away at him inside, Roxas felt someone tapping his cheek gently, he didn't want to open his eyes- didn't want to be awake. "Roxas… don't go to sleep yet." even if Roxas wanted to he couldn't- it was like there was a humming in the back of his mind, slowly his eyes opened- half way, staring at the wall and door across from his position. Luxord was still talking but Roxas wasn't listening, he only knew the man was talking because when he looked at the- now dressed in pants and boxers- man, his jaw moved but his words were too soft for Roxas to care to listen. Something warm wrapped around Roxas, he looked with interest to find Luxord picking him up, the boy went to mutter something but stayed quiet, he continued to stare off instead, something cold touched his backside, he gasped but quickly realized he was now sitting in an empty tub.

The boy felt so distant and so hollow- yet the drugs kept him light, he had been raped and Roxas had actually enjoyed it, he could feel his mind yelling at him- his father's voice echoing that he was pathetic and disgusting, but before the words could fully take affect both the drugs and Luxord stopped it. Turning the knobs water erupted and the coldness overtook Roxas, goose bumps formed over his skin in an instant but in a few seconds the water warmed and became comfortable, it continued to wash over and consume his flesh, once it reached his collar bones the older blond turned it off. In his mind, over and over again, Roxas' yelled at himself- whether it was his own voice or his father's he didn't know, "That's fucking disgusting, it was _rape_ and you actually enjoyed it! What the hell is wrong with you? That is beyond sick, how can you live with yourself?" he felt tears starting to weld in his eyes, looking over he noticed Luxord was no longer there, he ducked his head under and let a few tears fall, slowly bringing his head up he looked back around.

Just simple motel bottles of body wash, shampoo, and conditioner along with a very dirty sponge, nothing interesting or useful. Looking over he found, to his amazement, a black and silver tail comb sitting behind the toilet, just in reach, his mind changed to take a new path, "Your sickness is in your system- your blood, it's rotting you, you have to scrub your blood clean- it's the only way you might not be so much of a disgusting disgrace- pathetic unwanted creature." He wanted to reach for it, he wanted to sink the metal part so deep into his being that maybe he could bleed out all the black, but his body didn't react, when he finally was able to talk himself into reaching for it the door opened and in walked Luxord, still without a shirt but instead he had a pair of boxers and pajama pants for Roxas, though Roxas didn't really notice. Kneeling down next to the tub Luxord held out his hand, "Take this," he only stared at the small pill in the man's hand, it was like the pill he took earlier- the half of a pill, Roxas looked the other way though.

He couldn't, he wouldn't- "Roxas, it's the last one for tonight… just take it…" Roxas continued to look the other way, he felt Luxord loosely grab his chin and turn his head to look at him, his face was inches from the boys own, "Roxas, it'll just help you sleep," The man's voice was… nice? Roxas felt tears welding in the very back of his eyes, a lump forming in his throat, Luxord hadn't quiet caught on that the boy was about to cry, all he saw in the eyes was fear and self-hate. He closed the gap between their lips and held a simple kiss for a few seconds, when he pulled away he fully realized what was running through Roxas' mind.

He wanted to hate it all, he wanted to be disgusted but Luxord made it so hard- he truly hated the man, he hated the man forcing him into that mess, but Roxas found it hard to shake in fear, he was disgusted in himself more so than the day before. The blond boy hadn't felt the tears flowing down his cheeks but once he did he slid his body under water, only a few inches, but enough to make him unable for him to breathe he didn't try to hold his breath- in fact he forced himself to practically hyperventilate under the water, hoping it would make him chock faster and quickly die. But once Luxord saw the bubbles in the water he pulled the blond up, fishing in the water to find the boy's upper arms, he held the boy high enough so the waving water level sat averagely around his collar bones.

Once air hit his lungs he started coughing, his eyes squeezing shut as his body racked to get rid of the burning in his chest, Luxord let go of his arms to cup his face, wiping the hair from his forehead so he could see the child's features, "What're you trying to do?" Luxord's voice was full of concern but Roxas didn't hear any of that, all he heard was a noise and a small inner anger that he wasn't able to end himself, to end his being, and after a few minutes Roxas' breathing returned to normal but he felt himself trying not to cry. Looking around Luxord found the small formerly discarded pill on the ground, picking it up he held it to the boy's mouth, "Open your mouth," there was a bit of an impatient tone from Luxord, leaning forward he pressed his lips against the boy's forehead while he forced the pills between the boy's lips.

Holding his hand over Roxas' mouth he made sure the boy couldn't spit the pill back out, Roxas squeezed his eyes shut and tried to push away the hand and get away from the pill but the awful taste that was forming in his mouth forced him to try to swallow the small tablet of poison. Finally he was able to, Luxord removed his hand and allowed Roxas to move as he please- which meant Roxas was now facing the back of the shower and trying to get away, he wanted to vomit the pill back up. He forced himself to dry heave, he had barely succeeded in the act though because as soon as man saw his shoulders shake and beat he knew what the child was trying to do. Pulling him back over he made Roxas face him, "Roxas, stop," his tone was strong, "Just relax, you'll wake up in a few hours," his sob's finally reached volumes, he didn't want to wake up- he didn't want to care anymore, or to be afraid or hate himself, he just wanted it all to stop.

"I-I… j-just wanit to all st-stop," he finally chocked out, his body was shivering and shaking from the cold of the water and his body was starting to feel even more relax- sleep was beckoning him, but he tried to force his eyes to stay open. Pulling the boy out of the tub, Luxord curled Roxas up on his lap, wrapping him in a giant towel he rocked the softly crying boy till the sobs subsided and Luxord could tell the pill he had given the boy kicked in, knocking the small frame to a deep slumber. The three blue pills he had given Roxas were the child's own ten mg Valium, while the half of a pink pill he made Roxas take earlier plus the whole pill just now was a ten mg tablet of Normison- used to help people who suffer from insomnia to sleep. Luxord's concern for the boy had been hidden earlier, but now with the child sleeping in his arms the man was curious as to when was the last time the child ate. Sliding the boxers on the boy, followed then by a pair of Riku's pajama's- it was shocking how big the fabric was on Roxas, he decided to hold Roxas just a bit longer, and though Luxord himself was quite warm Roxas wasn't absorbing any of his body heat and was much like a icicle in the man's arms.

Pulling the blanket back he sat the child on the bed, watching as the blond shook from even greater cold, he sat down on the edge of the bed, he had called Vexen a few minutes before, in the gap while he himself was getting dressed, telling the long haired man that it was okay for him to come back now. When they walked through the door Luxord caught eyes with Riku, he could tell the silver head boy was upset about something, angry to say the least, he could also tell that it was probably because Riku knew what happened to the boy. "Riku," he stood up and looked for his discarded shirt, finding it he slipped it on, pointing with his thumb he continued talking, "Take a nap." Riku looked confused at first, he didn't understand what Luxord was telling him, till he saw the thumb and the blond gave a nod towards the bed, he saw the shivering figure sleeping curled up on the bed.

Hesitantly he walked closer, "We'll be back tonight," Luxord said, following Vexen out the door, he shut and locked it behind him, Riku was left staring at the blond. "Roxas?" he asked but the sleeping blond had no response, taking off his shirt and shoes he climbed into the bed. When his arm brushed against Roxas' shoulder the older of the two felt how cold the blond really was, he was freezing! Pulling the blond over they both laid on their side, Roxas' face in Riku's chest, the silver head forced the lithe child's arms to hang around his torso while, almost in a panicking fit, Riku tucked the blankets around the boy and continued to hold him close to his body, rubbing his back with one hand while the other hand played in his still slightly wet locks.

Awaking from a sleep Riku hadn't even known he'd fallen into he looked around the room cautiously, it was dark out now, it must have been hours since he had joined the child in slumber, looking over he realized why he'd woken up. Whimper's were leaving the child and Riku found a bit of his back was being pinched in the boy's fist, "Rox? Rox, it's okay-" slowly teal eye's opened and the look of fear in them made Riku feel like he was an evil person- though the fear wasn't directed towards him. Roxas couldn't see anything when his eyes opened, all he could tell was that there was someone next to him, instantly his heart started racing, pushing himself away he felt himself panicking. The figure only moved closer and closer and soon Roxas' back was flat against the wall and his arms were drawn up to his chest to try and push away the figure that only continued to get closer.

"Leave me alone," he started mumbling over and over again, he didn't even know he was saying it but he continued to struggle, the hands attempted to grab his wrists but Roxas began throwing his hands around, his voice was raising in volumes, "Go away!" "Rox! It's Riku, calm down, I'm not going to hurt you," his voice got quieter as he spoke, Roxas' struggling subsided slowly and though neither of them could really see anything Riku's face was full of concern while tears grew in the corner of Roxas' eyes, a blush across his face because of how he panicked. Riku held still to allow Roxas to properly calm down, once he heard the boy letting out slower breath's Riku slowly placed a hand in the blond locks, brushing his now dry hair to help in calming him down.

"Are you okay?" Riku asked softly, he felt the head in his hand give a small nod, he pulled the blond closer to him- slowly, in the few seconds the blond had pushed away his body temperature was now colder, he was shivering and Riku wanted to quickly warm him back up. Stiff at first, soon the blond relaxed into the man's hold, and after a few peaceful moments Riku softly spoke, "Rox, do you want to talk about it?" after a pause the blond quickly shook his head, and the silence returned. "I figured you wouldn't want to… but… you might feel better if you got it off your chest…" Roxas didn't respond and it was quiet for such a long time, Riku took that as a solid "No," he figured he'd be the first to talk, "Rox… I'm sorry I left, I didn't want to- I wanted to make sure you didn't get hurt, but…" silence, "I failed."

"It's not your fault…" Roxas mumbled, he wanted to say that it was okay, but he couldn't, "You would've just gotten in trouble and… it would've happened anyway," he mumbled out even more softly. "What happened?" Riku asked again, a little more quieter than the time before, the silence returned, "Rox… I know you don't want to but if I can understand-" "I know…" he softly cut in, "I… I didn't know you guys left… I was thinking- about my father… when I looked up you were gone…" there was that silence that over took the room again, "I… took some pills- a-and," he felt a few unwelcome tears grow in his eyes, Riku could feel them falling onto his bare rib, "It's okay Rox, don't force yourself… let's just go back to sleep…" he wanted Roxas to share his pain but not if the boy was going to hyperventilate and have a panic attack in the process. Riku almost didn't hear the small voice, "Will… you stay here?" Riku felt hurt by the question- he didn't know why though, "Yes."

Roxas was quick to let himself fall back into nothingness, it felt like he had just entered when something tightened around him and he was brought back to the real world by mean's of yelling. None of the words made sense to him, finally he opened his eyes and looked up to see Riku yelling across the room at someone, the man's arm that was drawn around him held tighter. Looking over Roxas saw someone he wished he didn't have to, "What're you," Roxas' question was cut off by the man, "Axel is dead," his father answered loudly, Roxas forced himself to climb over Riku and jump out of the warmth of his arms, the blond ran to the middle of the room, for one of the first times in his life not caring that he was half naked, had no shirt on, or that he was staring his father in the eye, "What?" he asked in shock, "I took care of the problem, Axel is dead," "No, you're lying, I don't believe you," Roxas could feel his heart racing and pounding, it was probably visible to everyone, his father's eyes narrowed, "Are you calling me a liar?" Roxas continued to stare at his father, but with every passing second, every passing breath he knew his father was telling the truth.

The blond found his gaze falling, but he held his ground, "Turns out he was looking for you, he took all the work out of it because he came to me. I led him into an alleyway, he tried to punch me first," his father let out a laugh, "He thought he could beat me, I quickly solved that problem," he became silent as he thought back, a smug smile on his face, "He was barely breathing- he died slowly and painfully in that alleyway, all because you had to ruin his life. That boys dead because of you Roxas," Roxas felt the tears welding in his eyes but he wouldn't let them show, "If that's all," Sephiroth spoke to Luxord and Vexen, "I'll be on my way," he left. That was it. He just walked out the door, Roxas felt like exploding, his father had no right to just barge in and ruin his life, his fist bawled up, he wanted to go after his father and punch him to his hearts content.

Axel was dead, Roxas had no one, he went to run out, to run and chase down his father, to beat him to a bloody pulp- or at least try. But quickly hands wrapped around him diagonally, one arm over his shoulder to lock with the other hand the wrapped up at his hip, he was picked off the ground temporarily, a sound leaving his throat in pure rage and anger, "No!" he whispered/yelled over and over again, there was no way his Axel was dead, he wouldn't believe it. Luxord set him down again once Vexen was standing in front of the door, Roxas stood in the middle of the room for a few seconds staring down at his own feet, he couldn't believe what he had heard, but only because he didn't want to.

Staring at his feet he tried to calm himself, he remembered he was in a room with others, he looked up, Vexen's face held no sympathy or really any understanding of what was happening, he looked behind him to see both a concerned Luxord and Riku, the latter went to say something, reaching out slowly for Roxas, but Roxas quickly looked off to the bathroom and ran for it. Slamming the door shut behind him he curled up in as tight a ball as he could, a few minutes- or maybe hours passed then a knock softly hit the door, "Rox?" Riku whispered, Roxas quickly looked up and locked the door, he felt bad for locking the man out but he didn't want to see anyone, he heard Riku walk away, it was getting harder and harder to force the tears away, but he just wanted it all to come out. He remembered the tail comb behind the toilet, silently he pushed himself away from the door, reaching gently behind the porcelain object, he held the plastic piece in his hand and the metal part pointed at his wrist.

_**Oh no!**_


	21. Chapter 21: Pep talk

Sitting between the tub and the toilet, both arms frozen from the cold objects- but he couldn't care, he heard someone knocking again, "Roxas, unlock the door," it was Luxord, he sounded calm and unfazed but inside the older blond knew something wasn't right, and of course Roxas wasn't going to unlock the door. He dragged the tail across his wrist, only a small red scratch seemed to form, he wanted blood, he realized the metal end wouldn't cut his skin, squeezing his eyes shut he made a quick decision. In his mind Axel was no longer alive, meaning the only good thing in the blond's life was now gone, Roxas would never be able to wrap his arms around the man or have the man whisper over and over to him that he loved him, any light at all was just ripped out of his world, and Roxas didn't want to live like that. His heart racing, hands shaking, body trembling, the blond closed his eyes as he waited for the bliss to follow, when he'd drop his now raised arm it would stab through his wrist- and the blond would keep doing it, over and over again until his body stopped bleeding.

But the pain never came. Opening his eyes he looked to see someone standing in front of him, his eyes followed up the limbs and body parts to find a head with a bit facial hair. Once the general confusion as to why Luxord was now in the previously locked bathroom- stopping Roxas from bleeding himself dry, Roxas could feel the tears and anger building up in him, he tried to force his arm down anyway, hoping the man would let go or by some chance the small blond could be strong if only for a second. "Roxas!" the boy hadn't heard it before, but Luxord had been shouting his name, Roxas didn't understand why the man seemed to care, in walked Vexen- though he stayed a good distance away.

"We own you," Vexen began, "That body and your life," a slight pause, "You ruin it in anyway… And you'll owe us." "Not if I kill myself first!" Roxas shouted in his head, something stopped him from saying it though, and that something allowed Vexen to walk away, tears began to weld in the shaking blond's eyes, he didn't want to be owned- he wanted to belong, with Axel. Frustrated even more Roxas tried to pull the comb free, he heard some yelling and some harsh speaking but he didn't care to make out the pronounced words, he also didn't care to look when Vexen reentered the room, but some how now the smallest blond was laying down- pinned while Luxord sat on him to hold stop the blond from moving. Roxas hadn't even noticed that he was yelling out, telling them to leave him alone- screaming at them to go away, the comb was pulled from his grasp, Luxord prevailed in holding both the boy's hands in one while he tried to push something into the blonds mouth, but said blond only closed his mouth tighter and shifted his body around in an attempt to knock the man off.

"Open your mouth!" Luxord spoke loudly, Roxas realized he was trying to get him to take a pill- Roxas continued to fight though, but when he felt a bit too much pressure on his chest he gasped in pain, Luxord took the chance and slipped both pills in the open mouth, clamping his hand over said mouth. Mumbling now Roxas tried to scream, tried to get the hand off so he could spit the pills out- this all seemed like a replay of the night before and Roxas didn't want to sleep. He felt breath on his neck and shoulder, Luxord was practically laying on top of him, using his weight to hold the still struggling boy, he let his forehead rest on the floor, waiting for the pills to kick in. Time passed, Roxas pushed all his tears away by pushing through the pain that screamed in his muscles- he really was struggling with all his might, the pills were now dissolved and nothing remained but the awful taste.

Soon a hollow feeling over took Roxas and he couldn't fight the comfort the pills were offering him, his eyes were half closed and his body completely relaxed, he felt Luxord's weight leave him- the older blond grabbed hold of Roxas, pulling him to his feet he led the almost sleeping boy to the bed. As soon as Roxas hit the bed he was out.

Luxord and Vexen left yet again, Riku went back over to the bed- he had slept a full nine hours with the child already that any additional sleep was pointless, sitting on the bed he pulled the blond over to him, resting the child's head on his lap, he brushed the hair back. The silver haired boy watched as tears started to flow from the boy's eyes, though he was deep in sleep, Riku determined right there that he could seem himself with the blond for the rest of his life- and he would try to remain by the boys side for the rest of his life.

Roxas woke up hours later, it was dark but the blond knew he'd slept away a whole day, looking around he found Riku sitting at a table, forcing himself to sit up he sat by the silver boy- sitting in silence they could both hear the footsteps that were distinctly Luxord and Vexen's. Ignoring them was easy for the youngest blond, he tried not to think of anything at all- afraid he might not be able to hold on to his emotions, Luxord sat on the blonds other side, sure Roxas wanted to be nowhere near the man but the only other place he could really go would be back over to the bed and he knew that would get him nowhere even more. "Riku," the silver boy looked up at Luxord, "Why don't you get Roxas something to eat," everything was ignored by Roxas, Riku nodded his head and left without so much as a glance from either of the men or Roxas. He walked to the nearest fast food joint and bought himself and Roxas food- though his food would be gone by the time he got back.

The youngest blond had been chewing his nails, his legs brought up so if he was of average weight his knees would be touching his chest- but Roxas wasn't and therefore there was a gap for his arm with the abused fingernails to rest. There was a pain in his chest, and a lump in his throat, but he refused to think about any of that- not right now at least. He didn't pay attention when the door opened and in walked two people, he didn't pay attention when one of them sat down, and he didn't pay attention to the conversation that erupted. "Roxas?" He knew that voice, it sent a small fear through him at first- shocking him out of his stupor, he looked up to find the blue haired man standing between Vexen and Luxord, the blond was confused at first- hope swelled in his heart. Was Saïx here to take him away so he could be free again? But that thought turned sour when he thought that through more, that man had raped him and caused him more physical pain then Luxord, the other thought crushed any happy feelings he had- he had nowhere to go if Saïx did take him.

His vision turned down, looking at the table he saw a bag, he watched as Saïx pulled a suitcase like thing out of it and presented it to Luxord, Roxas couldn't see what it was but he did notice that all three men kept looking at the small blond. "A moment?" Saïx asked, speaking to the two men and Riku, hesitantly Riku followed the other men out and Roxas was left alone with Saïx, who felt beyond happy and relieved to finally know where the blond was. "Roxas," he rushed around the table and picked up the small blond to wrap his arms around, Saïx almost felt like crying because he finally knew where Roxas was and he could finally do something to get his Roxas back.

Worry washed over the blue haired man when he felt the boney body tremble and almost fight him at first- Roxas was just so surprised the man had done it, but soon Roxas relaxed a little and he hated to admit that he was actually finding comfort in that specific man but that man was also the only connection Roxas had at the moment to think of the life he'd had with Axel. "Roxas, _we are _going to get you away from here… away from them," Saïx said softly and quickly, "We're?" Roxas asked, who was we? He wondered. "Myself, Aqua, and Axel," Saïx didn't think the question was strange or really even notice the question, his heart leaped when Roxas spoke to him. "Axel…" it wasn't a question but Saïx responded like it was, "Yes," "But… Axel's…" Roxas didn't know what to say, his heart beat faster at the thought that maybe Axel wasn't dead his father just thought he was. "What?" "Axel's… he…he's dead…" Saïx seemed shocked by that and everything hit Roxas again- Axel really was gone.

"What do you mean?" looking down Roxas tried to keep any emotion out of his voice, "My father… he told me Monday… that he killed him…" Saïx felt a strange discomfort, he knew what the redhead meant to his Roxas and he knew the child was clearly upset with it all- but honestly, in Saïx' mind, the redhead was more like a dog he allowed his Roxas to have to keep him happy, he stayed silent as he felt the child begin crying. Roxas stopped caring then and everything eventually faded out into more sleep that he didn't need.

Waking up hours later Roxas was over taken by the bright sun shining in and filling the room, looking around he found only Luxord and Vexen, sitting up he rubbed his eyes, Luxord whispered something and that's when Roxas realized that Vexen was incredibly pissed off. He went to climb out of the bed and sneak into the bathroom but as he slid his leg out to touch the floor Luxord- without looking back at him- told him to stay where he was. Vexen was messing with something on his lap, Roxas watched as he opened whatever it was and a bit of black could be seen, the man handed something to Luxord and soon both men were walking over to the smallest blond. He could tell there was something not right about this whole thing, his body began shaking, and in an instant Luxord was pinning him to the bed, "What're you doing?" Roxas asked panicked, looking over in his struggle he saw what Vexen was holding, "Hold still!" Vexen growled, "Roxas… don't move," Luxord added calmly.

Teal eyes watched as Vexen pushed a needle through scars and skin and into his veins, Roxas was asking them not to- the entire time, he didn't want the drugs, mostly because he knew what came with them. Once all the drugs were in his system and about ready to take effect Luxord took hold of his chin and made the scared child look at him, "Shh…" he held up a hand to his lips- he wasn't telling Roxas to be quiet now, he was telling the blond to keep quiet and when Roxas caught onto that his heart raced even more but soon the drugs took effect. Feeling the man starting to strip him, Roxas tried to stop him but once the small side affect of the drug- tunnel vision, Roxas couldn't do much of anything.

He felt the pain, the shame in it all, he knew what was happening somewhere in his mind, but he was unable to fathom any of it, he let his body fall into random acts of conscious and unconsciousness, but not till the morning did anything really bother him.

Sitting up as fast as he could wasn't a good idea on the blonds part. His backside was sore and felt like it had been ripped raw- his movement only made it worse, also his arm was handcuffed to the bed somehow- just one hand, so when he sat up at full force he was only pulled back down by the same force. He let out a groan- rolling onto his side, "You're up," Roxas turned his head around to look at the one speaking, Luxord, he didn't even know anyone was around, he let out another groan- very unhappy with his current condition. Walking over the older blond unhook his wrist before walking away again. His head felt heavy and he made no attempt on keeping it lifted up when he sat up, he felt awful- like he should be puking or something but he had nothing to throw up. Luxord knew that and was in the process of fixing it, "Sit at the table," he spoke over his shoulder.

Awkwardly Roxas walked over to the table, limping the way but trying not to let Luxord see, the man wasn't interested and he honestly didn't expect any different. Putting a sandwich in front of Roxas all the younger one did was stare, it was a plain peanut butter and jelly sandwich but Roxas really wasn't hungry, "Eat," Luxord began- his voice soft, "You haven't eaten in days, you're lucky you're not dead yet," "Lucky?" Roxas thought back in his mind but stayed quiet, starring at the food, "You're not leaving that seat till it's gone," Roxas looked up at the man with a slight pout on his face, "But… I'm not hungry…" Roxas mumbled, his mouth was practically watering just from knowing he could eat it, his whole body was telling him to just stuff the whole sandwich down his throat but he didn't want Luxord to know that.

Sitting for a good ten minutes Roxas couldn't refrain himself anymore, hesitantly he lifted his hands to place on the table, slowly he picked at the sandwich, he didn't want to seem too eager- though inside his mind was yelling at him to just hurry up- he hated how hunger tried to control him. Luxord sat across from him, writing something, Roxas had taken three bites of the sandwich now, but he was curious as to what the man was writing and Luxord could feel the boy watching. Looking up he met his eyes with the teal ones, waiting for Roxas to ask whatever it was he knew the boy was going to ask, slowly Roxas spoke aloud what he was wondering to ask, "What's that?" his voice was louder than before and Roxas could tell right then that his throat hurt- like he had been screaming, he looked at the table instead of the man's eyes.

Motioning to the paper Luxord continued to look at the boy instead, "Taking innovatory," Roxas tilted his head a bit in question and Luxord continued, "of any and all money spent on you," Roxas took that somewhat badly. He wasn't hungry anymore, he slowly returned his hands to his lap, Luxord was taking innovatory of him so probably every cent they spent on Roxas just meant they could hold the kid longer- Roxas didn't want that. Luxord could sense what the kid was thinking, "Finish eating Roxas," he continued writing, Roxas shook his head though the man wasn't looking at him, letting out a sigh Luxord sat back in his chair, "Your food's free, anything you need to survive is free Roxas… Pills and drugs are what I'm cataloging," that didn't make Roxas feel much better, just a little stupid that he assumed wrong, but he still wasn't hungry.

He could tell it would take more words to convince the child- normally he wouldn't be in the mood to be patient for this long but for some reason he could be right now. "Finish eating," he spoke again and this time Roxas replied, "I'm not hungry…" "Yes, you are," he sighed, "Roxas, you're not healthy right now- you need to eat," Roxas had stopped thinking about eating, the pain of hunger had long since left him, and the tiny amount of food had given him enough energy to last for a few days longer, he was lost in thought when Luxord stood up- walking around the table to kneel at the side of the boy, he pulled the boys chin so Roxas would look at him, "Roxas, this isn't as bad as you seem to think it all is- you're still breathing and you're still able to make choices in your life… You're going to stay here- why not at least try to enjoy it?" The middle of Roxas' eyebrows rose, he couldn't think of lying to himself like that- or worse, lying to himself so much he believed it.

_**My computer is starting to not like me DX it freezes and all that jazz when I go to open this story, I couldn't get it to open yesterday otherwise I would've had this up. And just for the fun of random knowledge- this story so far is 83 pages :D**_


	22. Chapter 22: Lies

Roxas tried to continue on, Riku would share the bed with him every night- the only way the blond could really sleep, he'd wake up early every morning for no particular reason, take a shower and by then Riku was also up- Luxord and Vexen would show up around the day at random times, it was only really bad if they showed up alone- that meant 'not good for Roxas'. It had gotten to the point where Roxas had almost completely stopped fighting them, whenever they felt like ruining the blond they would get Riku to leave, pin the blond down and inject him with the heroin Saïx had brought for him. Roxas hated it all and -unbeknownst to him, every night while he slept wrapped up in Riku's arms the blond would silently cry, salty tears poured down his cheeks and it tugged on every remaining heart string the silver head had, it was the only way Riku could actually tell there was anything wrong with the blond.

During the day the blond would be happy, he had taken up cooking lunch- the only meal they really ever ate, though it was at random times because neither boy liked eating around Vexen or Luxord, he invented games to occupy them all day, and to Riku he seemed like any other happy teen you'd find. But Riku knew otherwise, he knew from the screams the blond had let our and the murmured words that had escaped him when he was still under the drug, he knew while the blond pretended to be happy and okay with it all that the blond really hated himself even more and left to his own devices would destroy himself. He watched as the blond came out of the bathroom and sat next to him on the bed, a smile- fake smile on his face, "What you wanna do today?" that was it, pushing himself up so he was upright, Riku had had enough- he couldn't let Roxas lie to himself anymore.

"Roxas this has to stop," a pang shot the silver boy's heart when he saw the sudden fear and sadness over take the blonds face, but when the boy's face returned to the way it was before- just pushing off Riku's words, Riku forced away his sympathy or pity because the blond needed to hear this. "Stop what?" though he was smiling there was fear in the blonds voice, "All this," Riku signaled to all of Roxas' being, again the blond faltered but quickly recovered- though his new fake smile was only half of the one before, "You're pretending everything's fine! It's not! This all fucking sucks and it's cruel and- and you have every reason to not want to even open your eyes in the morning! You're locked in here all day and all night- you haven't been outside in almost three weeks! The man you were in love with," Riku knew this was taboo for the blond, "was killed, by your father! The same one who sold you! You're drugged- with heroin, almost everyday so when two men come to rape you- you wont fight them." Roxas' fake smile had long been gone, he wanted to yell back at the man but the lump in his throat had stopped that from happening, he was staring at the floor, Riku had jumped out of the bed to pace around while he ranted.

"It's disgusting and pathetic," Riku finally yelled out, more venom in his voice than he meant, he stopped yelling- stopped breathing as the blond shook his head, running into the bathroom, he slammed the door shut and hid yet again between the toilet and the tub. His arms wrapped around him to hold his chest while he brought his knees up to rest his forehead on, he felt like screaming, like crying, but he didn't want to- his body was so numb that if the boy was able to sit by himself for the next day then he would be 'fine' and able to go back to how he woke up. But that didn't happen.

Standing in the living room, fists clenched, Riku realized he had just basically attacked the small boy and that was not at all what he wanted, the slamming door reached him and now he found himself racing to the bathroom, opening the door slowly he looked to find the blond shaking in the small space. "Roxas…" "No, just leave me alone!" Roxas had screamed out- some of the volume lost into his legs, Riku could hear the blond on the verge of tears and he would hate himself if he didn't fix it, he kneeled down in front of the blond, "No, Roxas, you need to listen to me," his voice was soft but demanding, placing his hands on Roxas' shoulders he pushed the shoulders back, at first the blond rejected him, he tried again and he saw the pained look on the small ones face.

"Roxas, I'm sorry I yelled," "Just stop," the blond whispered, he was looking down at the ground but Riku could still tell he was about to break. "I want you to hear it…," he mumbled again, this time Roxas had more to say, "No!" he screamed, looking at shocked Riku, "I know everything fucking sucks and I know it's fucking disgusting and pathetic, but you know what! I'm fucking sick and tired of hating myself and everyone around me! I'm fucking tired of wanting it all to stop and I'm fucking sick of not being able to do anything about it!" The tears were flowing down his face but he couldn't care, "I hate… all of this…" he tried to wipe his tears away but more fell, "But I have… no where else to go! The only person who even knows I'm breathing or was ever even born is my father and I have spent every moment of my life trying to get away from him!" he paused to wipe the tears out of his eyes. Over and over he rubbed his eyes but the tears kept flowing so he just continued to talk.

"I hate everything… and I just want it to stop…" Riku pulled the blond closer, said boy tried to fight at first but gave in when another wave of tears over took him, Riku sat with his back against the tub pulling the blond to him, the blonds face turned into the man's shoulder and chest as he faced the tub, crying even harder now. "Shh… Roxas… it's okay…" Riku felt like a horrible person for bringing the child to such a degree, rubbing the child's back he cooed to him, getting the tears to subside a bit before really speaking to the blond, he pulled the blond back a little so they could look each other in the eye, wiping the tears away he searched in the blonds' eyes.

"I love seeing you smile," Riku started softly, "I love hearing you laugh… when I see you walking around here with that smile on your face it hurts to know that it's fake," more tears, "I want you to be happy and I know it's hard to be here, but when it's just us… I want you to be happy- not because everything sucks and you're stuck here and you want to hide away from everyone, but because we're here and we're fine and we can be ourselves around each other." Riku paused for a second, "I know it's hard for you, but I admire you so much." Roxas was surprised but that but continued to listen. "If I was in your shoes- I would've broken a long time ago… all I want to do is make it easier for you Roxas…" taking a chance Riku added his last thought, "I love you." Roxas was shocked by that, the silver head liked him? He couldn't. Roxas felt himself beginning to panic, he loved Axel… but Axel was gone and never coming back, Roxas didn't want to reject the man but he didn't love him the same, "I'll protect you as much as I can… I don't want to see you get hurt," it hurt him to know Roxas didn't like him the same but he didn't want to scare the child more. "I need someone… I need to need someone…" Roxas thought, "Maybe I could… learn… to love him the same."

Riku leaned in to kiss the blonds forehead but Roxas looked up, Riku paused, he didn't know what the blond was doing, slowly he found the blond leaning closer to him, light shot through Riku's mind when his and Roxas' lips touch briefly before the blond proceeded to hold him tighter and just hug him. Roxas only halfway meant the kiss but he figured if he forced the thoughts to burn into his heart than he could learn to love it, learn to love him.

Riku had just finished cooking eggs- the only thing they really ever had there, they had figured out millions of ways to cook the simple protein and now they were about to eat the things again, but before the blood shot teal eyed boy could even really give them a look the door opened. Vexen walked in, slightly irritated, the blonds heart sunk deeper when the door shut behind the blond man, he looked down at the ground instead- he wasn't going to be able to eat the eggs now, "Riku, leave," Vexen demanded, Roxas looked up to notice the man hadn't brought anything with him- no drugs, but by the look in the man eyes he could tell the man was determined to 'get his worth' out of Roxas. Riku just stared at the man, he also caught on that the man didn't have any drugs with him, "…You didn't bring anything with you?" it wasn't really a question- just an observation but Riku was confused, "No, don't need it, get out!" he demanded again, Riku jumped up by instinct but when he looked back he could tell Roxas was beyond terrified, he felt awful even more now for what he had said to the blond earlier.

Roxas would have been fine now, if Riku hadn't suddenly given him something to live for or some sort of comfort but he just gave his pep talk and his timing could ruin the blond. "No." Riku mumbled out, looking over at the frantic Vexen, instantly the man stopped fidgeting and looked up at the defying boy, "What?" his heart pounded faster as the long haired man approached, Roxas was also standing up now, looking up at Riku, "I said no, I'm not fucking going anywhere and you're not fucking hurting Roxas," "Who the fuck do you think you are!" Vexen yelled back, ready to hit Riku but Roxas quickly jumped in between and pushing Riku just out of Vexen's arm span, "Don't do this Riku," Roxas warned quietly, he didn't want Riku to get hurt- he didn't want anything to happen to him- the man was his friend, "No, this shit needs to stop," he worked around Roxas to point at the man and jab him with his finger, "You're fucking disgusting and all this shit is over- now," he growled out, Vexen went to hit Riku then but instead his hand connected with Roxas, the blond let out a gasp and that was enough to send Riku over the edge.

A fight erupted and soon both Riku and Vexen were fighting, punching and kicking each other, soon Riku was being pinned by Vexen so Roxas shot over to pull the blond off the silver boy but once he touched Vexen the man turned around he smacked Roxas so hard across the cheek that Roxas was sent flying into the wall- blood running down his chin, vision gone to blackness for a bit. "What's going on?" suddenly the door was being open but none of the three people noticed, again Roxas tried to pull Vexen off Riku but that only earned him another smack to send him flying yet again, when Vexen felt a hand on his shoulder he went to smack the child yet again but he quickly stopped when he noticed it wasn't Roxas but instead Luxord. "What the hell his this?" Vexen didn't bother to explain but instead stormed away slamming the door behind him.

Riku surprisingly had almost no cuts or bruises on him, Vexen hadn't really laid any punches on him- the squirming boy had managed to dodge a majority of them, Roxas had more blood then he did. Hugging his knees over by the wall he had been thrown into twice Roxas looked down, he knew he was in trouble and he was terrified of what his punishment would be, an angry Luxord bent down in front of him, grabbing his chin loosely he examined Roxas' face. "What'd you do?" he asked in an impatient tone, Roxas didn't answer- Luxord went to yell at the blond but Riku quickly jumped in, "He didn't _do_ anything," he growled out.

Riku explained in a very angry tone what had happened and why Roxas had more cuts then Riku himself, Luxord let out a sigh and with that left. Riku helped Roxas up and lead him to the bathroom, setting him on the toilet lid, "Let me clean that up," he mumbled while looking in the cabinet, Roxas zoned out and was brought back quickly when he felt a stinging pain on his lip. They spent the rest of the day sleeping, trying to at least, "Riku?" Roxas mumbled hours later, still unable to sleep, he got a grunt in respond, "Thank you… for staying," Riku didn't open his eyes but scooted his body up a bit so he could kiss the cheek of the boy his arm was thrown around.

It was starting to get dark, still Roxas couldn't sleep, he decided to make food for him and the sleeping Riku, "I'm going to make eggs," Riku grunted in agreement, when he grabbed the pan his hand shook violently- he cracked the egg above the pan and his hands shook even more, squeezing his hands into fists he tried to push off the shakes. Minutes later he spoke again, "Eggs are done," nudging Riku's arm a bit, the silver head moseyed out of bed and found his way over to the table. He ate in almost silence but Roxas quickly ran to the bathroom, he heard the blond starting to cough and knew there was something wrong, Roxas was indeed dry heaving- only because there was nothing to throw up. He came out and sat down picking up his fork he tried to eat the eggs but he felt so sick and dizzy, he tipped his head down while squeezing his eyes shut, "Hey Roxas, you okay? Whoa, you're shaking," Roxas found himself laying on the bed again.

He didn't want to be on the bed- he felt sick to his stomach, he was sweating but cold, he was irritated and couldn't stop shaking or even focus on anything he tried to climb out of bed and he had made it, he tried to find his way to the bathroom in fear that he might puke again- though he had nothing to vomit. Instantly he felt someone grab hold of his shoulders and pulling him back, he didn't know he had even fallen to his knees. He was on the bed yet again, he looked around and noticed another person in the room, he sucked in through his nose to suddenly realize it was running, he went to wipe it- normally a stickler about using tissues but at the moment he didn't give a shit, he used his arm only to notice his hair was standing up, but again- he didn't give a shit. "Roxas, stay still," "No." he instantly responded, not caring who he was talking back to, and of course it was Luxord he said it to. The man seemed surprised but continued what he was doing, Roxas went to stand up only to realize his legs were killing him- all the joints aching and screaming at him, his head was almost spinning because of how hot the room was, he was sweating and so irritated but he kept yawning though he wasn't tired.

It had been about eighteen hours since he had last used heroin, he was suffering from withdrawal, of course he didn't come to that conclusion himself, he had been using the drug at least once a day for the past three weeks, but on average he was using it twice a day. Luxord came over to him, Roxas was walking towards the bathroom- though he didn't know why, the blond forced him back over the bed, "Go away," he tried to push the man away, no fear in his voice at all, but the older man just used more force. "Riku, hold him down," Luxord spoke over his shoulder, quickly Roxas found some one straddling his hips and pushing his shoulders against the bed, he squeezed his eyes shut out of pure habit, wiggling as much as he could to stop the man from doing anything to him, "Roxas, calm down," it was Riku and his words were more definitely not comforting. Luxord pinned the arm between his side and his own arm, his back now pushing against the bed and Roxas as he tried to hold the hand completely still. Feeling the pinch in his arm Roxas let out a few words, "Go the hell away!" was a very repeated phrase, alone with, "Stop!" and even after the liquid was in his veins and out of the syringe the men held him, Luxord continued to watch the boy for a second after finally letting go before he left.

"Roxas?" Riku asked hesitantly, the blonds eyes slowly opened halfway, glazed and looking around almost peacefully, the silver haired one let out a sigh, he climbed off the boy and scooted him closer to the inside of the bed, covering him and then himself. He pulled the blond closer and just like that the blond nuzzled into his side, his face pushing against Riku's rib and the bed, he began shaking and soon he was crying. "Roxas, what's wrong?" he was concerned why the boy suddenly burst out into tears, there was many reasons for him but Riku wanted to know exactly why, "I want to die," Roxas sobbed out, he was sick of himself more than anything- the fact that he now knew he was dependent on drugs. "I can't take being here anymore…" Riku jumped at the words and took hold of the boy tightly, "I know Rox, but don't say that, I don't want you to die… go to sleep…" kissing the boy's blond hair he waited for the boy to relax in his arms before he himself followed into dreamland.

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_**So so so sorry for not getting this up Monday or yesterday, but hopefully I'll be able to upload a chapter tomorrow **_


	23. Chapter 23: Enough

Morning came and Roxas acted like nothing happened, he climbed over Riku and returned to sit next to him after he took a shower, he went to wake the silver haired boy but instead decided to snoop around. He had been there for three weeks and never thought of looking around, most of the cupboards were empty, one had a few frying pans but that was it. Then he came to one and when he opened it he felt a sad smile pull on his lips, in the cupboard was his backpack, the one he packed all his stuff into when he left Cloud's house, the memory made him a little sad, but this was all his stuff! His clothes had been in the bathroom, in a pile behind the door, once a week they would take his clothes to wash them even though he didn't have enough clothes to wear clean clothes everyday. He grabbed it out, it was lighter without the clothes, he sat it on the bed and crawled back over Riku so he could sit in the corner, pulling it out he found his MP3 player, it had been so long since he had seen it, quickly he shoved it all back into the bag. Not because he didn't want to listen to his music or to remember any of the times before but because the door opened, he slid it under the blanket and kicked it down with his feet as he laid beside Riku.

He felt the warmth ripped away from him, he slowly opened his eyes- trying to act like he was indeed sleeping, to notice Riku was being shoved out the door by Vexen, Luxord followed behind them both, sitting up Roxas was confused and worried. They had never left him alone in the room, he went to stand up, to walk over to the door and hopefully escape- but that was a thought buried deep in the back of his mind so his hopes wouldn't get crushed. As his foot slid so his toes touched the floor the door opened, "Stay there," it was Vexen, Roxas stopped and semi relaxed, watched the man lock the door and shuffle around, this didn't seem like it was going wrong all that much, nothing was really happened. It seemed like it could be a good day- but that isn't what happened. The next thing the blond knew the long haired man had rush towards him and turned Roxas over and managed to practically strip the boy of everything he was wearing on his lower half and in an even quicker second shoved inside him, the smaller ones mouth opened wide to take in a mouth full of blanket as the scream of pain caught in his throat.

There was hands on his hips, but he couldn't feel them, a second passed and Roxas let the scream erupt from somewhere deep inside him, the pain he felt was paralyzing, everything began to shake and he couldn't even breathe, he was caught completely off guard. The man above him began to suddenly move, tears poured down Roxas face he felt like someone had reached inside him grabbed a hand full of organs and ripped them all out, he wanted to vomit- he wanted to scream, but all he could do was squeeze his hands in such a tight grip on the blankets his knuckles turned white. It felt like hours for Roxas, his voice box finally began to work and screams fluently came out of his mouth, he clawed at the hands, ripping chunks of flesh from his own body along with the other mans hands, the man in turned squeezed his hips tighter. It hadn't really even been an hour, but if felt like days to Roxas- each second made more tears flow, each breath made him burn, finally he felt a sickening warmth and a few minutes or seconds later Vexen left. Just like that. Roxas was just raped again like it was nothing.

He continued to scream, continued to cry even though the man was no longer around, he curled up into himself- tried to at least, there was a pain in him that stopped him, finally he could breathe- although it was in ragged gasps, he allowed himself to calm down, hearing a knock on the door he froze to listen. "Roxas?" It was a very worried, very concerned Riku, he turned the knob but stopped when he received a very emotional filled answer, "Yeah, give me a second," Roxas tried to pull himself together, limping as quickly as he could, his mind forced into overdrive as he took his first step and almost let himself drop from the pain. When Riku heard the bathroom door shut he walked in, walking over to the bed he saw the blood and other substance that covered the sheets, he threw off the blanket, stopping when he saw the bag. Of course Roxas wouldn't get in trouble for having it because it was his after all, but it still made Riku freeze a little, he set it down gently next to the bed, he continued pulling the sheets off, sick at the amount of blood that pooled on it he wouldn't bother washing them, he buried it in the trash can. He scrubbed and dried the bed- a redder blood stain to match the brown ones, the whole thing was sickening but it wasn't Roxas' fault and Roxas was the one that slept there, he knocked on the bathroom door, in hopes of finding a new sheet.

Gently collapsing in the tub Roxas sat for a moment, trying to regain his composure, to find the breath that had been lost in the pain, slowly he reached to turn on the water, shivering at the coldness but basking in the warmth that followed, he turned on the shower. Hearing someone knock on the door he waited for them to speak, "Roxas, it's Riku," Forcing himself to stand up, though with the curtain drawn to cover the shower there was nothing that would really be seen by the silver haired boy, Roxas didn't want to take a chance that Riku saw him laying in the tub because his body hurt so much he couldn't stand- thought that's how it really was, "Come in." Riku grabbed out a sheet, "You okay Roxas?" there was silence, "I'll be out in a second," Roxas didn't know how else to reply, he didn't want to lie to Riku but he didn't want to be honest, he just ignored Riku's question.

Riku made the bed and proceeded to sit on it, waiting for the blond to come out, once Roxas did Riku felt sorry. The blonds eyes were blood shot from crying, he had a visible bruise on his wrist from where Vexen had grabbed hold of him and turned him around, he had a towel setting on his neck because he was too tired to dry out his hair his body hurt to much to let him keep functioning for the day. Slowly he laid down on the bed, laying on his stomach to ignore any of the pain he knew he would feel, Riku frowned, "Rox, I'm sorry," he sat by the boys head, the blond laid out the towel under his head, not wanting to get the pillows wet, Riku used the extra parts of the towel that hung out to wipe the boys hair off. "Are you okay?" "No…" the blond mumbled out, shaking his head back and forth as he pressed harder into the bed, trying to get rid of any tears that might have formed in his eyes. "Let's go to bed, scoot over," Riku walked across the room to turn off the lights, as he started to walk back in the dark he heard the pained whine that left Roxas' throat as he tried to roll over, he succeeded but it took a few minutes till his body relaxed a bit and the pain left him. Riku pulled him closer, Roxas' body tensed a bit, "Relax Rox, it's okay," he spoke slowly, soon Roxas followed his words and in a few more minutes he couldn't help the wave of tears that came, he hated it- he hated crying all the time and he hated not being able to stop, though his body was racking in sobs he let himself slip away and fall asleep.

Riku couldn't take it anymore either, he couldn't stand the fact that the child cried while he slept- let alone cried himself to sleep, he would come up with a plan, in this plan- Roxas was going to be happy and Roxas was going to smile not because he felt he had to or because it was a fake one- but because he couldn't help himself from being happy. He would come up with something but he wouldn't tell Roxas- he didn't want to break any hope the boy might have left, it was still morning so for the rest of the day Riku sat rubbing the boys side as the child tried to find peace in dreamland.

Days went by, the schedule of the boy was the same: wake up, shower, sit in bed, someone would shoot him up, said person would rape him, he'd fall asleep, wake up sober only to get shot up again and raped just the same before, wake up sober after not knowing he had even fallen asleep, take a shower, go to sleep cuddling into Riku's side and crying his eyes out. He had some free time for food and just sitting around but nothing much happened in that time, at the moment he sat curled against Riku's side- it was only about noon, he'd finally decided to listen to his MP3 player, loving the beat that filled his ears as the man in front of him gently rubbed his sides, he had never been much into rap- but the song '_Beautiful_ originally by Eminem, but he listened to an 'Acoustic Cover' played and he couldn't help but sing along to it, Riku loved hearing the voice because for once Roxas was being himself.. (Go to youtube and search: "Beautiful Eminem acoustic"- there should be one that says: Beautiful - Eminem (Acoustic Cover) RE-UPLOAD - listen to that one.)

Minutes passed and Roxas continued to sing, enjoying it all, he sang the end of _Still Breathing _by Mayday Parade, there was a silence after the song, Roxas listened, it was another song, but it was clearly recorded, he heard a guitar start playing he listened intently and as soon as the lyrics started he tried to cover his mouth as a gasp escaped him. "What is it?" Riku asked, concerned now, Roxas looked up, staring at Riku in shook, "What?" he asked again, pausing it Roxas stared at it, "It's… it's Axel," he smiled as tears fell down his face, Axel had recorded himself singing and playing the guitar, the song just for Roxas. The blond pulled a head phone out and put it in Riku ear, starting the song over, a small panic attack when he wasn't sure if he was just hearing things or if it really was Axel signing.

Riku new the song was _Your Guardian Angel _by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, the voice he didn't recognize, he watched Roxas' face as more tears fell down his cheeks and his smile got bigger and brighter. Riku couldn't help but also smile, the child was radiating happiness, but Riku knew then that no matter what the blond said- no matter what he did, Roxas would never love Riku like he loved Axel, it was a sad truth to Riku. The blond listened intently, he had been terrified that he would forget Axel's voice, and a sad truth was that he actually had, but now he would have a piece of the man forever.

The blond hid the MP3 player at the end of the bed, so when the men would come and shoot him with heroin they wouldn't find it, he hurt so much from the day before and he tried to beg- tried to make Luxord stop, but the man continued, at least this time it didn't hurt as much and when it did hurt the drugs made it feel better first. He fell into sleep and when he woke up nothing felt any different- he felt pathetic and worthless but he still got in the shower, later though there would be no heroin- no drug and it would be even more painful. Roxas fought back, something that only dug him deeper, Vexen was at first in no mood but quickly he loved the game of cat and mouse, the boy was actually running away from him- trying to at least, staying out of the man's grasps in hopes that the man would get irritated and just leave, but instead Vexen tackled him onto the bed.

Roxas was a bit too loud for Vexen at the moment, so he put his hand over the smaller ones mouth, while still pinning him to the bed, but Roxas was still in a fighting mood. He bit the man's hand, a proud feeling washing over him as he made the man cry out in pain but he soon followed suit as the man slapped him hard across the face and then proceeded to bite his neck, leaving a dark bruise and a little blood behind. Roxas wasn't sure when but he knew now that they were fighting, and he was getting his ass whooped. Vexen took a handful of Roxas' hair and picked him up, making him stand up only to push the blond back down to the bed, he took hold of the boy's wrists, squeezing tightly so a pain squeak left Roxas' throat. Fear took over again and Roxas felt panic make his heart race and his mind wonder, he didn't know where Riku was and his will to fight was vanishing. Vexen pulled up the boy's shirt, looking at the bruises and ripped off skin from the day before. Squeezing the bruises already there, Roxas' hands shot down to comfort his sharp smarting sides, Vexen used that to undo the boy's pants and take off everything below.

It all happened again, Roxas screamed and cried and squeezed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth and biting his lip, shaking and trembling all to try and stay sane, again he clawed at the hands on his hips and again he ripped chucks of flesh from himself and the man, Vexen hissed and smacked the boy again. Hitting him by his temple this time the blond blacked out for a minute but he didn't mind, eyes watering, there was only so much he could take and stay sane, he allowed himself to slip back into darkness, not caring what Vexen would to do im, or if Riku saw him, or if he didn't wake up again.

Slowly his eyes opened, it was very light, he blinked his eyes a few times, frowning from the brightness, he let out a groan, he went to sit up, a pain erupted in him so he tightened his jaw but that hurt too,, he wrestled with the blanket on top of him finally he was sitting up and he could see. Riku was sitting at the table in front of him, a phone in his hand, he was waiting for something but Roxas didn't know what.. Looking down Roxas noticed he had pajama bottoms on, he looked back up at Riku, it was then that he noticed the silver haired man looked pissed beyond belief. "Riku?" the blond slowly asked, afraid the man might snap at him, the man didn't respond or look like he had even heard the blond, "Are you okay… Riku?" he asked again, going to stand up but stopped with a hiss at the pain. "Roxas?" Riku jumped, just realizing the blond was up, he walked over to the bed and sat next to Roxas, pulling the blond so his head rested against the older ones side and stomach.

Looking down at the boy he watched as slowly Roxas turned to look back up at him, "What's wrong Riku?" he asked slowly, Riku felt bad then, Roxas was feeling sorry for Riku because Riku was mad- he didn't think he deserved that. "I'm just… I hate seeing you hurt like this…" Roxas went to sit up but stopped when he felt some pain, Riku gently placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down to rest, "I'm not hurt…" Roxas lied. Riku felt concerned, with Roxas now sitting a few inches lower than Riku with his back resting against Riku's chest, Riku grabbed Roxas' hands gently and held them so Roxas could look at them, "You're covered in bruises…" "I'm fine Riku," "You were hit twice in the face, I know that because you have two bruises on the side of your face, you were bit on the neck and it's all bruised and scabbed now…" Roxas used his now freed hands to run his cold fingers softly over the scabs on his hips, the dark reddish brown stuck out against the dark bruises, he started to pick at the ones from days ago- he hated scabs. Riku stopped him though, "Don't do that… I'm waiting for a call, but you want to play a game till then?" Riku held out his touch screen phone, and it succeeded in occupying the blond.

They talked while Roxas played some game called _Sushi Cat_ and it occupied him for a good amount of time, till the phone started to vibrate in his hand, he jumped but quickly handed the phone over to Riku. "Hello?" a pause, "No, no more waiting, yeah, I know" another pause, "I hate it too… when? Alright," the conversation lasted about two minutes and now it was over. "Here," Riku said with a smile, "You can keep playing if you want, but you should go to bed soon, it's almost one in the morning." Roxas gladly took the device back and once he got stuck on a level he realized Riku had turned off the light and the room was pitch black, he didn't know where the silver haired man was but he also realized he was extremely tired. He let his head rest for a few seconds, he had rolled over onto his stomach levels ago, his arm with the game dangled over the side of the bed, he had only meant to rest his eyes but soon he fell asleep.

Riku had been sitting at the table and when he saw Roxas rest his head he watched quietly, "Rox?" he whispered, the boy didn't respond, slowly he took the phone out of the boys hands and began his plan. Grabbing the backpack he shoved the boys clothes into it, he quietly proceeded to the bigger room and found the MP3 player, placing it at the top of the mess inside the bag. And just like that there was a quiet knock at the door, slowly he opened the door, looking out from a dark room to a light lit hallway and just like that he let the blue haired man in. "Were is he?" "He's sleeping," Riku replied, shutting the door behind him, racing over to the bed Saïx began to hastily but gently shake the boy away, "Roxas, it's time to wake up?" "Nmm" Roxas responded, rubbing his face deeper into the bed and his arm, he was warm and comfortable something he wasn't often, closing his eyes he took a deep breath, "Roxas, we have to go, now," He grabbed hold of the boy gently and picked him up, Roxas would just have to wake up on the way, Riku grabbed their bags and followed behind Saïx as the man left, he froze in the doorway though.

If Riku left, he would be hunted down by Xigbar, he could be tortured and they would probably kill him in the end, this life- with drugs and drug deals was all he knew, but it was hurting Roxas and he'd never signed up for something like this. Saïx was already down the hallway, taking a deep breath Riku took a step forward and shut the door behind him, no turning back now.

_**FREEDOM FOR THE ROXAS! …maybe… duhn-duhn-duhnnnn**_


	24. Chapter 24: Plan

Blinking his eyes open slowly Roxas tried to look around but everything was dark and what he could see was only a sliver color which he soon realized was Riku and his hair. "Riku?" "Sorry to wake you up, go back to sleep," Roxas found it strange that Riku was so close to him and that the area was very small- but to him he just assumed they were in the bed and Riku was just in a cuddling mood, Riku '_Shh_'ed him and soon the blond was zoning back to sleep. Roxas didn't actually know that the person so close to him was Saïx and even then- they were walking towards the car, the comfort that was taking him in was put on hold when Roxas remembered other feelings.

He felt someone pick him up, now his eyes cracked open a bit to look and see someone's chest in front of him as they carried him bridal style, "What's going on?" he finally asked. The person holding him stopped walking and instantly Roxas' vision went black- Riku covered his eyes with his hands, "Roxas, could you do me a favor? Just close your eyes and keep them closed, try to go back to sleep, but I'll tell you when you can open your eyes," slowly the hand left his face and he kept his eyes closed. They weren't trying to surprise Roxas but they didn't want Roxas to get his hopes up before they even left the motel's lot and then have something go wrong- like Vexen or Luxord or even Xigbar showing up an hour earlier and taking Roxas back, once they got in the car it would be okay for the kid to look. "Get ready to stand," Riku whispered as Saïx began to slowly let Roxas down, Roxas didn't even know that Saïx was there till Riku gave the okay and he opened his eyes.

Blinking away the darkness and sensitivity he looked around and saw blue, his eyes went wide- he didn't know whether to be happy or afraid, but his body reacted without him- wide eyes and a gasp escaped him- this had to have meant he was free, right? "Get in, hurry," Saïx spoke as he opened the door, Roxas tried to quickly jump in but the pain in his backside got to him, he heard Saïx let out some sort of angry noise. As Riku sat in the front Roxas started talking "Wait- my MP3" he started but was cut off by Riku, Saïx had already whipped the car around and was speeding away, "I got it Rox, just… try to get some sleep, okay?" "I don't need any sleep… I'm fine," he whispered back but Riku had a retort to that, "Your body's trying to heal- you're hurt right now, so just relax and go to sleep…" his voice was soft, Roxas allowed himself to slide down in the seat so his head rested against the door and window, "I'm not hurt…" he said stubbornly, "Roxas!" it wasn't really yelled, more of a tired snap back, "You can't lie and said you're not hurt- you couldn't even sit in the car without feeling any pain…" Riku's voice had faded to be kinder, "please, just rest- you're not safe yet," Roxas sat in silence after that, he slowly let himself slip into dreamland, "What does it matter if I'm safe or free if Axel isn't there?" He asked himself with his last remaining consciousness.

Saïx and Riku sat in silence, neither knew much about the other except everything they knew now and how they chose to act would be very different, both men looked behind them- Riku turning his head while Saïx looked in the rearview mirror as Roxas let out a pained gasp because he had moved in a way that put discomfort on his bruises and torn insides. When they all had moved to 'meet' up with Roxas' father for the first time, meeting in the new place- they had actually moved back to Syracuse, so now all they had to do was drive to South Side to be at Saïx's loft. They pulled up, Riku was hesitant when getting out of the car- he was leaving everything he knew behind so he could save Roxas, but all that meant that the silver boy was thrown some place and he was at the disposal of Saïx now. The blue haired man opened the blonds door slowly, making sure the child didn't fall in the process, he picked the small child up and carried him inside, said child shifted in his arms- lost deep in dreamland.

"What?" Roxas sat up as fast as he could, which wasn't a very good idea because it sent a wave of pain through him, he looked around, he knew exactly where he was- it was a room he hated and would never forget but at the moment it represented freedom, he slowly moved to get of the bed he was normally handcuffed to and slowly opened the door. Downstairs Riku and Saïx were talking away, thinking of plans of action to take to prevent Roxas from more pain, he slowly made his way down the stairs and watched Riku's face light up- first with shock, as he saw the blond, Roxas wasn't really sure about what was happening- he was out of it so much that he forgot he didn't have a shirt on and in fact had nothing but thin cotton pajama bottoms that were far to big for him because they were Riku's.

"You're awake," "Yeah…" he scratched his head nervously, "Am I not supposed to be awake yet?" he wondered in his mind, "How you feel?" Saïx asked, turning his head to look over at Roxas, "I'm fine…" he replied softly, Saïx twitched his head- signaling the blond to come over, Saïx sat forward placing his elbows on his knees as he was deep in thought, he didn't know what move to make. "Riku, could you go get Roxas some food," Riku nodded and left with just simple eye contact as a goodbye to Roxas, "Sit down Roxas," slowly the blond did- not so much out of fear of Saïx but because his body wouldn't really move any faster, "I know you're not fine- it's easy to see, but I don't know what's wrong…" Saïx didn't like where this situation was putting him- he was worried but didn't want the blond to know but he also didn't want the blond to collapse and die on his floor because there was something wrong he wasn't telling anyone.

"Roxas… just tell me- everything that's wrong," he turned to the blond, Roxas was looking down at his own hands and after a few minutes began to slowly reply, "Well… my wrists hurt, any time I move my hands or fingers, when I move my jaw it hurts- same with my eye," he moved a hand up to cup where Vexen had hit him twice, "my hips hurt…" he had started out with things that would be obvious to the man- things the man probably already knew, hesitantly he continued, "my insides feel like they've been burned raw, and I feel like I'm…" he faded out, while he spoke he was able to think about everything- if someone has ever been in an intense situation you know- the moment you think you're forever safe is when it all hits you and you realized you survived that but it hurt so much, this is when it hit Roxas.

Scooting back so he could rest against the back of the couch he brought his knees up to his chest- slowly from the pain, he wrapped his arms around his stomach and tried to hold back the tears and the sick feeling he was having, so lost in his own emotions and realizations that he didn't feel Saïx move closer to him and wrap a warm arm around the blond. "Shh… Roxas, it's over now," That only broke the blonds wall more and a few more tears poured down his cheeks as he tried to choke back the sobs. Using the heels of his hands he wiped his eyes, rubbing them gently afraid he might cause himself more pain then he was already in, "Yeah… I know, I'm fine…really," Saïx let out a sigh at the blonds continuation of lying, he wrapped his arms even tighter around the boy once he felt how cold the child actually was. "You're skinnier than the last time you were here…" he started with concern, a frown on his face, "When was the last time you ate?" the blond shrugged, he could talk about something else- the tears subsided a bit as he continued to wipe the stubborn tears away with the heel of his hand, "Three… or four days ago…" he mumbled, Saïx let out a very angry sounding sigh that made Roxas quickly look up at him with worry or fear.

Riku came back a few minutes later and handed the bag to Roxas, slowly he opened the delicious smelling bag and looked inside to find fries and two- what he assumed were, dollar menu cheeseburgers, "Eat up," Saïx stood up and walked away, something on his mind, Riku sat in the chair and watched as Roxas grabbed out some fries- his mouth watered so much he wondered if that's what it felt like to have rabies, "Want some?" he asked Riku, but Riku shook his head, "When was the last time _you_ ate?" he asked again, "I'm not the one that looks like a skeleton," he mumbled as he sat next to Roxas, looking down Roxas could picture himself as a skeleton, "I'm not that skinny," he said slightly offended, he still had some fat on him- when he bent over his spine was seen but not each little vertebra- that would've been nasty- he thought. Holding the bag for Riku the silver head let out a sigh with a smile on his face as he took some fries, "Happy?" "Maybe," Roxas smiled, it was an actual smile and Riku was awed for the fact that the child had literally just smiled- meaning he was happy, which all made Riku's heart soar.

A few more hours passed and the blond was enjoying himself- half heartedly but none the less, till a familiar pink haired man stormed into the loft, "What the hell is this?" he pointed at Roxas but was yelling at Saïx, Roxas and Riku both jumped but Saïx seemed to be the only one not surprised. "Marluxia… you know why…" Saïx began calmly, "Yes! But I thought we agreed to wait!" Roxas was confused further now, he looked from the pink haired man to the blue, Riku sat up next to him and added into the argument that had somehow erupted, Roxas couldn't really understand what any of them were saying because they all kept cutting each other off. "Roxas, go upstairs," Saïx said, halting all the volumes, everyone turned to look at him, "W-why?" he asked hesitantly, searching all of the faces, if this was something involving him he wanted to know, "Because we have things to discuss," Saïx grabbed Roxas' arm before the blond could protest and lead the child upstairs, shutting the door as he pushed the child into the room, shocked at first Roxas slowly walked over to the bed and sat down. He could hear them shouting, all three, yelling and he knew it was about him.

Downstairs Riku, Marluxia, and Saïx spoke, Roxas didn't know what they were saying but if he had he might not have acted the way he chose to later. "_He _didn't say what to do yet," Marluxia began, Saïx cut in, "Roxas is not going back there, no matter," "Yeah, 'no matter'" Marluxia replied in a mocking tone, "As soon as _he_ tells us what he actually wants- and it isn't best for Roxas you're going to turn the kid over because you're a dog to that man and you'll do what ever _he_ says! _He_ could tell you to go up there right now and shoot him and you'd convince yourself it was in the best interest of the kid!" Riku stayed out of the argument, he didn't know what they were really talking about, sure he knew a bit, but it was against their rules for him to know about it and he didn't feel like digging himself deeper than he already was.

"And what about him?" Marluxia shouted, pointing at Riku now, Riku jumped when he found the finger pointed at him, "Luxord, Vexen, _and_ Xigbar are going to be on my tail about this, he'll be lucky if they just decide to kill him," Riku didn't like that his life was now being talked about, "Don't give me that look kid, Saïx should have known better than to act so rash," "I'm the one that called him," Riku mumbled out but it didn't change Marluxia's ideas on the situation, "It doesn't matter, you're just a kid- Saïx knew what he was doing, he should've thought rationally." he took a deep breath, hands on his hips now, Riku sat down and Saïx just stood motionless like he was deep in thought, "What are you going to do when _he_ tells you to send Roxas back?" looking at Riku he continued to talk to Saïx, "Riku will be hurt and for what?" Saïx stayed silent, he really hadn't thought it all through but he wanted to seem independent, he wanted to actually think for himself for a moment rather than listen like a dog to what _he_ had to say.

It was silent. "Just tell me what you plan to do?" Saïx took a deep breath, thinking, but he knew that the pink haired man already knew what would happen- as the man had said, _he_ would tell Saïx to do something and he would do it. Whether or not if it hurt the blond, he grabbed his coat of the back of the chair and stormed out of the building, allowing Marluxia to win the argument. Riku sat in silence, thinking, he knew what all this meant, it meant that he and Roxas would be on their own because there was no way in hell he would let Saïx hand Roxas or even himself back over to Xigbar. Marluxia sat next to him on the couch, fingers running through his hair as he thought, "You're going to have to leave, take Roxas some place far- far away." Riku looked down, everything he ever knew just led him to know that right now- in that moment, everything was fucked up. "I can lend you some money…" "We can leave tomorrow morning," Riku finally sighed out, Marluxia and him both stared forward into nothing, "Do you have a plan?" Marluxia asked, Riku replied by shaking his head- he had no idea. "I'll have a cab meet you a few blocks over at the coffee joint- Coffee Mania, they'll take you somewhere… I'll set it all up…" He stood up, Riku did also, Marluxia looked at him with a questioning face, "If he wont help Roxas… why are you?" Riku watched the man who seemed to just be staring ahead, "You two are just kids… this is a bad business… I've destroyed many lives, more than you could imagine… maybe I'll be able to sleep again if I can save just two lives…" there was a pause, as he began to walk away he spoke back to Riku, "I'll call you when it's time to leave." he was gone.

_**I had the news on while I was typing this and some of the things I heard within the lesser of an hour was, "Man rapes three years old girl," and "Man charged with repeated rape from 2010," and "Man charged with abuse to his 18 month old daughter," and "Mother punished son with an electrical cord," and "Two thirteen year old boys hatchet grandma to death," then a whole bunch of stuff on drugs… I don't know what the worlds like where you all live, but I live in New York and these people are finding more reason to hurt others than to grow up. **_


	25. Chapter 25: Unprepared

When Riku opened the door as quietly as he could, he found a sleeping Roxas on the bed- tired from the day, shutting the door even more quietly he walked over to the end of the bed and proceeded to crawl up to lay next to the blond, pulling him to rest on his chest. The blond sighed but otherwise stayed asleep- sheltered from the severity of the situation, Riku forced himself to relax and sleep, he would need it.

"Hey Roxas," Riku was shaking the blonds shoulder gently, he had gotten the call from Marluxia almost five minutes ago- he got everything together before waking the blond, "I'm up…" the blond murmured, it was almost five in the morning but the blond didn't think to ask any questions as to why he was being woken up while it was still dark. He found Riku pushing shoes onto his feet and feeding his arms through a hoodie, "Let's go," the blond wasn't up like he said but that was okay because Riku was leading him and forcing him into overdrive, "Where're we going?" he mumbled out, "You'll see…" Riku replied. Riku found a cab down the street like Marluxia had said, he made Roxas climb across the seat and followed in to sit beside him, Riku let out a sigh as the car pulled away from the curb, he was terrified the blue haired man would catch them but the man stayed asleep. "Riku?" Roxas finally asked, he was sitting up right now- awake for the most part, "Roxas, let's go back to sleep," he pulled the blond over to him, his hand on the back of the boys head, Roxas listened to the heart on the other side of the chest he was pressed against till sleep took him once again.

It was hard for the blond to really think and look at the situation with Riku, a few months ago he didn't know the man but now the man had seen him at his most vulnerable and at his forced best, the man's arms were comforting and almost everything he needed. But they weren't. While Roxas slept it crossed his mind again, Axel was what he wanted- and why? The redhead hadn't survived through anything with the blond like Riku had, Axel hadn't been there- though it wasn't his fault. But all the thinking brought a sick feeling to Roxas, he felt protected in Axel's arm, like he was actually someone in the world, and with Riku he still felt comfort and his mind told him it was okay to cry. Roxas' eyes slowly opened, his body stilling as the thought crossed his mind, 'Axel gave him everything- Roxas would have given more- like he gave Riku if he had the chance, the man was more to him than Riku but Riku was all that was there.' he didn't want to give up on Axel, but the man was dead… and never coming back. The thought made more tears fall down his face, he watched through blurred vision as they dripped onto Riku's hoodie- turning the fabric darker, but he pretended to stay asleep.

All he wanted was Axel, for the tall lean man to wrap his arms around him and hold him close to his own warm body, his scent to fill the blonds nose- taste to fill the boy's mouth- and to hear the deep chuckle from the source, deep in his chest as they laid on his bed talking about nothing in particular. Roxas began to remember a specific time then when Riku began to rub his back- realizing he was crying, it seemed like a different time ago.

Roxas was having a nightmare while sleeping on Axel's couch, dreaming that his father had broken in to his house with Cloud and taken him away and sold him like any other time, but that time there was a black sludge that covered Roxas making it hard to move but the pain felt so real, far worse than with the blue haired man. He saw Axel stand in front of him, but his back was turned towards him, Roxas yelled out- screaming at the top of his lungs, begging for the man to turn around and save him but Axel just started to walk away instead, Roxas felt like his heart was going to snap. He didn't know that he had actually been screaming out-waking the redhead up, he shook the blond awake and with a lot of screams, tears, and fighting later, Axel had Roxas pinned to the floor- the blond actually taking a breath and calming down. Roxas was rocked back and forth, sitting with his face buried in the redhead's chest, till finally all the shakes and tears were gone and he could think more clearly, "You're okay Roxy," he brushed the sweat soaked blond hair off his forehead, the blond sniffled in response, "What happen?" "Just… nothing…" Gently grabbing a hold of Roxas chin he made the boy look up at him, "Tell me," "It's nothing really," before the blond could further protest Axel had picked him up and was walking him into his bedroom, "You're gonna sleep with me tonight," he set the blond on the bed and pulled the covers over him, sitting next to him he pulled him closer, "What happened Roxas?" The blond shook his head, "How can I tell you, "It's ridiculous and not real," if I don't know what it was about?" he asked with a smirk on his face.

Roxas wanted to laugh at that but instead he asked a question, "How do you know if it's ridiculous?" Axel made him look up at him, "Because there is no reason in the world that you should ever have to scream like that," the blond often had screamed like that though- from that day on he had done it almost as much as he had in his whole life before. Taking a deep breath Roxas decided to share, "I was hurt… I felt like I was going to snap in two… and you were right in front of me," his voice cracked but he tried to ignore it, "but you couldn't hear me screaming… you just walked away…" Axel held the blond tighter kissing the top of his head, "I would never do that…" "Yeah… but there's a lot you don't know Ax," "Doesn't matter, I'll always find you, you're my only love," he spoke clearly, Roxas wrapped a hand around the older man's waist and held him tight.

He could feel himself being carried but he didn't bother to open his eyes, he could tell Riku was the only holding him and he could tell the man was laying him in a bed and covering him with the covers before walking away. Riku went back down to the cab, they had rode in three separate cabs without the other two's knowledge, the cab they had currently just left that still had their bags was just down the road- not even knowing where they were staying. The silver haired boy slid the backpack on and proceeded to walk away, all the cabs were prepaid by Marluxia and already assigned a destination, he walked past the motel they were residing in to a Chinese fast food joint. While he waited for his order of Pork Fried Rice and Sweet and Sour Chicken his phone began to buzz and ring in his pocket, a call from a number he didn't know, "Hello?" he asked quietly, hoping his voice wouldn't give him away in any form to this random 'friend or foe' person. "How's it going?" letting out a sigh Riku leaned back against the wall, it was Marluxia, the pink haired man had instructed the first cab driver to hand over a new- still in the box, cell phone for Riku, and for the better part of Marluxia Riku was told not to save the number in the phone but instead in his memory, same for Marluxia.

"Alright, Roxas is asleep right now, I'm getting some food for the house like you said…" he wasn't exactly doing that, but he reminded himself of Marluxia's instructions, Marluxia wanted Riku to buy enough food for a week or two and not go out no matter what, but the silver haired wanted the blond to eat but didn't feel like cooking. He had his hood up, he waved to the cooks- signaling he would be back in about fifteen minutes for the done food, he walked to the nearest store that was still open. Now, if you even been in Syracuse- or really any city, perhaps even town, walking into a store at night takes talent and really good acting. The stores are never empty, sometimes there's a group of younger kids inside or random older people- but mostly people you don't want to mess with, but you know to never look down, never make eye contact, don't smile, and don't say jack shit. Riku bought a giant box of Raman Noodles, two boxes of cereal, two gallons of milk, three loaves of bread, and a jar of peanut butter and another of jelly. He carried the bags outside and proceeded to shove the milk gallons in the backpack along with the jelly and peanut butter, he tied the boxes on the outside, leaving his hands free and further more his mind. Riku walked back to the Chinese food place and let his mind wander to the conversation he had had just a few minutes before with the pink haired man.

A few minutes before: "Umm… Marluxia?" "Huh?" "Do you think… Do you think Roxas is going to be okay after all this?" he was silent for a few seconds before adding on, "He's just a kid…" he was nervous to ask- mostly because he was nervous about what the man would answer with. "I don't know Roxas all that much…" he started, Riku lowered his gaze to the side walk, "What I do know is Roxas is a fighter, he tries to act tough- because it's what he knows, he had some problems before all this…. He's gonna need time to make sense of everything… but I can't say if he'll be 'fine' afterwards." Marluxia had grown close to the blond, for no reason really, the kid just got to him- in a good way. They ended their conversation when Riku reached the store, "And Riku," "Yeah?" "You're just a kid too… watch out for yourself," and with that he hung up and Riku found himself left alone to think.

Riku walked up the stairs to the motel room they were staying in, he opened the door to find Roxas still asleep on the bed, wrapped around in blankets, Riku let out a small laugh, seeing the blond sleep in so much comfort was something new. He set the backpack on the table along with the food, putting one gallon of milk in the small freezer along with two loaves of bread, he started speaking to Roxas, "Hey, Roxas, I got food…" he was silent as he took the cereal and noodles out of the bag and on the counter, "Waddchuget?" he heard the blond mumble, Riku smiled, "Not eggs," "Oh thank God," Roxas slowly added, rolling to the edge of the bed, letting his legs fall off and soon the rest of his body as he stood up. Sitting at the table Roxas waited for Riku to start eating before practically inhaling his food, not bothering to dip his Sweet and Sour chicken _in_ the Sweet and Sour sauce, he had half the nuggets gone before his stomach yelled that it was full- but he wanted to keep eating, he took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair. It was in this time, while Riku slowly ate and Roxas took deep breaths, that Riku noticed Roxas' hands were shaking and the boy was starting to sweat, "Roxas? Are you okay?" Riku asked nervously he hadn't thought this far ahead- "I'm fine Riku," Roxas tipped his head down and brought a hand up to hold his head, his brain was pounding, "Finish eating," Roxas said back to Riku, trying to take in deep breaths through his nose and out through his mouth, but his heart was racing.

Riku continued doing just that because he didn't know when he would be able to eat warm food again and he might have to be completely worried about Roxas for the next few days. His food was almost gone but Riku couldn't sit still anymore, he rushed around the table next to the boy, "Rox, come lay down," he tried to lead the blond but he wiggled his arm free and sniffled, "I'm fine," he snapped back, "You're not fine!" Riku snapped back louder, he wanted to take control of the situation before Roxas got too agitated. Firmly, Riku grabbed Roxas' arm and pulled him to lay back down in the bed, Roxas was shaking violently, Roxas had noticed earlier what was happening- that's why he chose to go back to sleep, he didn't want to face it and he didn't want Riku to noticed but the silver haired boy knew and now Riku could help him because Roxas also knew once it got to a certain point he wouldn't be able to handle it without going insane. "Go to sleep," Riku spoke softly to Roxas before he walked out of the motel and paced the hallway, calling to talk to Marluxia.

"Hello?" "Hey, Marluxia…umm… " "What is it?" the man sounded like he had just been sleeping and was shocked or scared that Riku was calling so early/late. "Roxas, he's suffering from withdrawal… and…will he be okay?" he heard the man let out a sigh and could hear as Marluxia stood up and walked out of the room he _was _sleeping in. "That depends… how often did they have him using?" Riku was silent for a second, embarrassed that he let all of this happen around him, "At least twice a day… for almost four weeks…" Marluxia let out an even more bothered sigh. "Roxas' strong, he can survive… but it might mess him up, he's gonna want to go insane," Marluxia's tone came out smooth but apologetic- like he was sorry. "I don't want him in pain- I don't want him to have to deal with that shit! He's been through enough already!" Riku yelled, stomping down the hall even though Marluxia couldn't see him. "Fuck, Riku, I know, but-" "No, you don't know! You couldn't hear him when they tortured him, you couldn't hear how his screams peeled at his throat, or feel like needles being shoved in your ears, you didn't hear the pain in his voice \as he shouted and shrieked because it was the only thing he could do to stay sane! And you didn't hold him after it all when his body shook in agony and he could hardly breath, and even after he passed out the tears flowed down his face! So no, you don't know and if you did you wouldn't be remotely okay with allowing him to stay locked in a room while his mind ripped at itself because of what those two monsters gave him!" Riku was pissed- more at himself then at Marluxia but he was after all just a kid and he had moments where everything was too much to handle and he had to break down on someone.

Marluxia stayed silent, not at all enjoying Riku waking him up to shout at him, "I'll figure out something and be over," Riku let out a sigh, not a relieved sigh more of an I'm-sorry-for-yelling-but-thanks-for-understanding sigh, "Thanks…" he mumbled, ready to hang up, "Oh, and Riku?… Don't call me again on this subject," he hung up.


	26. Chapter 26: Cold Night

Slowly Riku opened the door, he peeked around to see Roxas pacing in the room, "Hey, Rox?" the boy jumped at the deep voice, turning around to look as the silver haired boy came in and shut the door. "You alright?" "Yeah, I'll be fine," Riku noticed how much the boy was shaking- violently, he watched as Roxas continued to walk around the room like his mind was panicking and didn't know what to do, he was running around like a chicken with his head cut off. "I talked to Marluxia…" "Bout what?" A brief silence, "Getting you heroin," that made the boy stop in his tracks, "I don't want drugs…" "It's just to help wean you off of them… this whole situation is going to get a lot worse Rox, you could die," Riku spoke softly. "I don't need drugs, I'm not taking any drugs," Riku didn't know what to do, he wanted the child to sleep but he knew there wasn't anything to really distract him so the blond could. Riku watched as the blond looked at his hands, the palms and the backsides, his hands shaking all the while, "…so nasty…" he mumbled, the blond hadn't been able to wash up in anyway and he'd been able to block out the disgusting feeling because he was so tired, but now it was all he could focus on- that or the aching humming that was going through his body.

Roxas was lead into the bathroom by Riku, "Take a shower… stay in the shower till the waters freezing cold," Roxas went to ask why but was cut off by Riku's answer, "It'll distract you." Riku shut the door behind him but didn't let go of the knob, he never checked the bathroom to see if there was anything in there that Roxas could use to hurt himself, he took a deep breath and decided he would just have to trust the blond. Roxas stared at himself for a while, something he couldn't do without feeling sick, his bruises where fading but still visible, Roxas finally couldn't stand to see himself he turned away and started the water.

Riku got a text from Marluxia- instructed to delete it as soon as he got it and understood it, the message was simple but Riku didn't like it, Marluxia told Riku that if Roxas became to agitated or began to panic- he would have to find something to tie the blond down with till Marluxia got there. Deleting the message Riku stood up and looked around the small room, to his convenience he found a box full of zip ties, he dug through his stuff to find a shirt he didn't mind cutting. He cut off half of the long sleeves, cutting the cuffs off the half so Roxas could wear it around his ankles and wrists because there was no way Riku was going to tie down the blond, who he knew was going to fight the entire time, without a fabric to guard his skin against the tough plastic. He placed the box and fabric in the cupboard.

Sitting at the table waiting for a reply from Marluxia, or a call, or something to say that the pink haired man was helping and not just leading Riku along. Roxas sat in the tub, the shower head on- hitting his sore back in a comforting and distracting way, at first he didn't want to sit- all he could see was the filth that washed off of him, not of it was dirt. But finally the water went into the drain like it had come out of the shower head- clear, he decided to sit and scrub his body with the body wash that was already in the tub. He used almost two of the small bottles of body wash, he wanted to use more but he didn't know how much there was and how long there were staying, he looked at his skin that was now red. He hated it but he was used to seeing his pale white skin turn red, but now it was from the steaming hot water and the scrubbing he was doing- he could live with that, as the water grew colder Roxas got more antsy to get out, finally he jumped out.

Riku was startled- for no reason really, when Roxas came out of the bathroom, the silver haired boy had completely zoned out in his thoughts, but he was a little shocked when Roxas came out with only a towel wrapped around his hips. Riku gave him a questioning look to which Roxas replied, "I didn't grab any clothes… your sweat pants are too big and they're kind of dirty…" Roxas was nervous about walking out of the bathroom with no clothes on _but_ he wanted clean clothes and this was really the only way to get them. "Oh, yeah… sorry," Riku shook his head, trying to get rid of the fog of worry in his head, he grabbed the bag and brought it over to Roxas, Roxas gave a smile and a nod before turning around to walk back into the bathroom, Riku stood staring at the door. Roxas let out a deep breath as the door closed behind him, he was worried about what Riku thought of him- but Riku had seen him naked before, which only made Roxas blush in embarrassment rather than comfort him.

Slowly Roxas exited the bathroom, a very big neck white t-shirt on with a pair of boxers and white and black pants, Riku sat at the table, his head resting on the dark wood- tiptoeing closer Roxas learned he was sleeping. "Huh…" Roxas said to himself. He didn't want to wake the silver head up for a few different reason, first: Riku needed his sleep, second: Roxas was free to do what ever he wanted that he normally couldn't do- what he was going to do with this new limited freedom he didn't know. Sliding a pair of socks and shoes on Roxas snuck over to the door, it had been ages since he had freely walked around outside, his lungs were screaming and his heart racing knowing he would be able to take a breath of fresh air without hurry or immediate danger. Heart racing, from lack of drugs and hopes, Roxas turned the knob quietly and shut the door as slowly as possible, waiting a second before he took off down the hall, a wide smile on his face, he had to suppressed a laugh he jumped down the flights of stairs, enjoying the sound of his shoes hitting the marble and carpet floor.

Bursting through the doors Roxas took in a deep breath, feeling the cold crisp air fill his nose and coldness biting at his skin, he closed his eyes for a few seconds to fully savor the feeling he once hated- when he was homeless and the cold nights were cruel, but now it was a liberating feeling. "What're you doing?" Roxas' eyes snapped open, he looked over to find a pink haired man standing a few feet away with wide eyes, Roxas' own eyes grew wide, quickly he turned and ran back into the building, running as fast as his now untrained legs would let him, he ran up the stairs and to the room, looking behind him as he tried to push the door open, but it was locked, he could hear the man coming up the stairs, he turned to run again but was cut off by something, falling back to the ground. He looked up, terrified now, Roxas didn't know Marluxia wasn't a bad guy- that the pink haired man was actually helping him, he just wanted to get away from it all and when the man yelled at him he knew he was in trouble. But now, as he stared up to the face of the person he'd just collided with he was shocked, it was Marluxia.

"Roxas, what're you doing?" The steel blue haired man asked, Roxas could only stare as he felt someone wrap their arms around his upper ones and haul him up, he tried to fight, a gasp leaving his lips as the man behind him moved his hand just a bit and it put pressure on his still bruised arms. "Let go…" he mumbled to Marluxia, the man holding him, then complied by letting go of one of Roxas' arms but still held one in his hand as he reached in his pocket to pull out a key, sliding it into the lock, he pushed Roxas inside. "Ow…" Roxas mumbled out again, giving an evil glare to Marluxia, rubbing his wrist and upper arm where the man pushed on his bruises, "Riku!" he heard the pink haired man yell, Roxas moved to the side of the room, Marluxia was going to get him in trouble with Riku, said boy jumped up at the shout of his name, "Marluxia!" he responded in shock.

Marluxia walked heavily and quickly over to the silver haired boy, "You're supposed to be watching him, not allowing him to walk around outside where anyone can spot him," Riku took a step back, looking over to Roxas, the blond just looked down, it was his fault Riku was being yelled at and it was his fault Marluxia was now angry with him. "I- I thought he was in the shower- he was in here- he… he," Riku didn't really know what to say, "I just wanted to go outside…" Roxas mumbled, trying to get the angry man to focus on him instead- to aim his anger at him, but Marluxia just pushed it off, "What would happen to him if Saïx just happened to be roaming around outside, or any of his cronies, or Luxord, or Vexen, and fuck… what if Xigbar showed up? Hm? How would you deal with it then?" Marluxia yelled at Riku.

"It's not his fault, stop yelling at him," Roxas spoke a little louder, earning a look from everyone in the room, including Riku, "No, it is his fault," Marluxia began, looking at Roxas now, "He was supposed to be watching you, but he decided to take a little nap instead," "I'm not some baby, I don't need a babysitter," "Maybe not, but you are being hunted by drug dealers and rapists who plan on beating you black and blue and fucking you far past broken!" Roxas jumped at the words, his body going rigid as he stared at the floor across the room, he heard Marluxia give out a sigh but the pink haired man wasn't the one to speak. "In any case… Roxas, how're you handling?" it was the steel haired boy who spoke, "Fine…" he mumbled out, Riku had told him why Marluxia was coming over and he was pretty sure the man was asking about how Roxas was handling without drugs. Hold out your hand," it wasn't a question, "Zexion, he said he didn't want any-" Marluxia gave Riku a glare, not at all happy with Riku it seemed. Zexion asked Roxas the question again and soon Roxas complied and held out his hands, all of the withdrawal symptoms he had been trying to hide he was now aware of, his hands wouldn't stop shaking and goose bumps covered his arms, his shoulders were aching and he didn't want to do anything. Zexion just let out a sigh like he had expected it all to happen like that.

Zexion moved to the table and began to prepare the snow white substance, "What're you doing?" Marluxia was the one to respond, his voice now calm, "Roxas, we don't know how healthy your body is, you might not be able to handle a sudden stop," "But I don't want it," Marluxia let out a sigh again, "It'll only get worse, you're in the early stages, and we're not going to just let you kill yourself." Roxas had so many response for that but they jumbled in his mind and he didn't know which one to say- none were very appropriate though all along the lines of, "Let me die," "I have nothing to live for," and lastly, "I don't care." but he didn't want to say any of them with Riku around and he didn't know how the other two men would respond. "Roxas, sit down," everything after Zexion's words turned into a mesh of motions, Roxas shook his head no- earning him a firm voice from Marluxia and a quieter one from Riku and soon Roxas found himself running to the door in an attempt to run away, he hated drugs and he hated that they wanted him to willingly take them.

Before Roxas could really connect everything in his mind he found himself being grabbed by both Marluxia and Riku and being dragged back into the bedroom and placed on the bed, Riku quickly got the box with the zip ties and Roxas could hear Marluxia and Riku talking about the sleeves he was placing on Roxas while the pink haired man held him down. Roxas could move anymore, his arm was tied to a cutting board so he couldn't move it while Zexion injected him with the poison. Roxas fought the entire time, moving as much as he could he yelling trying hard to get away, so much so that tears started to grow in his eyes because above not wanting to be unable to defend himself, Roxas was terrified of what would happen to him because any other time he was on drugs it just brought him more pain. Roxas was genuinely afraid of the pain, and afraid of being hurt.

Tears were streaming down his face but he couldn't feel them, Riku sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing his sides in an attempt to calm him down, un hooking his arms even though Marluxia was telling him not to, he wrapped the boy up and the two other men decided to leave Riku alone with Roxas long enough for him to calm down the blond. Roxas began crying a bit louder and soon he wanted to just go to sleep but he couldn't, there was a humming of discomfort in the back of his mind that prevented him from doing so. Softly he heard Riku's voice, but his voice was drawn out, it took the blond a moment to realize that the man was actually singing to him and that he was rocking Roxas back and forth slowly. Soon everything was comforting and the humming disappeared and Riku's voice was the only thing that mattered.

_**Only a few more chapters to go! Does it even seem like it's near the end? Probably not… but there shall be a lot to come in the next two or so chapters. **_

_**The song Riku's singing in the end, thought I know it doesn't really matter- it's what I imagine him singing, but the song is Safe and Sound … by Taylor Swift, but the version I listen to is a cover by the youtuber with the name "MrPenfree"**_

_**Lyrics (A few of them): **_

_**I remember tears streaming down your face**_

_**When I said, "I'll never let you go"**_

_**When all those shadows almost killed your light**_

_**I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"**_

_**But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight**_

_**Don't you dare look out your window, darling,**_

_**Everything's on fire**_

_**The war outside our door keeps raging on**_

_**Hold on to this lullaby**_

_**Even when the music's gone**_

_**Gone**_

_**Just close your eyes**_

_**The sun is going down**_

_**You'll be alright**_

_**No one can hurt you now**_

_**Come morning light**_

_**You and I'll be safe and sound**_


	27. Chapter 27: Caring

Roxas stood on the roof, looking up at the stars, breathing in the cool air that bit at him- it was hard to believe the air and weather would only get warmer, it seemed like not all that long ago he was ignoring his birthday and people while in summer school, had he even seen any snow? No. The past two weeks made him savor this moment of freedom. He had seen Marluxia or Zexion everyday in the two weeks span, it became a thing, they would come or at least just one of them and soon he would be zip tied down again as they injected him with drugs, allowing himself to pass out only to wake up free for a few more hours. The time span between shots became further and further and made the blond have a constant unsettling and agitated feeling, but now he didn't need it anymore, and if he could stay away- which he would do everything to support, he would never have to use the drugs again and he would never have to worry about them ever.

He smiled at Riku who was standing next to the door, Roxas wanted so bad to go out and the silver head couldn't deny him what he wanted but it was unsafe on the streets, so they snuck up to the roof, the blond looked back up at the stars. He was never able to see constellations but the sky looked beautiful none the less, he thought he saw red out of the corner of his eye, his head whipped to the side- he saw red indeed, but it was just a bandanna tied to the railing. His quick hope crumbled and crushed him, some where deep down his heart raced- hoping it was his Axel, but he was gone, and never coming back and Roxas was standing on a roof, figuratively stuck. Looking down he stared at the concrete in front of him, "Hey Rox? You ready?" Slowly Roxas looked up at the speaking silver head, a question on his face- "Ready for what?" "I think it's time we got outta here… out to our own place," "Our… own… place?" Riku could hear the hesitation in Roxas voice.

"Come on," he opened the door and motioned for Roxas to go down the flight of stairs, to which the blond slowly did- finding their bag packed of all of their belongings sitting just inside the door. Riku shut the door behind himself and picked up the bag placing a hand gently on Roxas back as he lead him forward. "Roxas!" the name was laughed out of someone lips, "How you doing sweetie?" Marluxia brought Roxas into a hug, though it was one sided, but Marluxia didn't seem offended by that. "I'm fine…" he said quietly, Zexion nodded his hello and Roxas returned the gesture, "This is probably- and hopefully the last time we'll see each other till next year," Marluxia continued, "Stay tough honey," he pulled Roxas into another hug and kissed his forehead lightly, the two men walked out with Riku and Roxas and waved goodbye as the taxi the younger two occupied drove away.

Roxas stayed quiet for the ride, watching out his window in interest, they drove by a school and Roxas couldn't help poking his finger out the open window "I used to go there!" he say energetically, no reason really, he was almost always completely ignored there. He watched as school was let out and kids filed on to busses and kids his own age messed around while walking around, enjoying their own freedoms, Roxas couldn't feel the smile on his face but Riku could clearly see it. Because it was a school zone the taxi had to drive at the mandatory 20 miles per hour, allowing the image to slowly sink in for Roxas as he practically held his head out the window. "Oh my God, Roxas! Naminé, look!" Roxas looked over at the sound of his name, seeing a reddish haired girl pointing at Roxas and looking back at a blond haired girl next to her. Roxas watched as the girl gasped but spoke, "Roxas!" she seemed shocked for a second, then he saw as two boys and another girl walk up behind the first two girls, "Oh, wow, Roxas! We miss you! Come back sometime," the brown haired girl yelled with a smile on her face, a few agreeing murmurs founded their way to Roxas' ears, all saying that they missed him and wanted him to come back sometime.

The memory hit Roxas instantly and the smile grew. He smiled back, at Kairi, Naminé, Hayner, Pence, and Olette- the group of people who always said hello to Roxas and always asked how he was doing even though they knew he'd never gave an answer. Kairi would continue talking about how she herself was doing, making Roxas feel important- like she thought he cared how her life was going- which doesn't mean he didn't care, but it made him feel special. Naminé would compliment him on his art and talk about art school and compare her own pictures with him, he loved seeing her drawings and hearing her think about his own art. Hayner would always mock the teachers and make both funny and rude comments about everyone and most the times Roxas had to hide his face so no one could tell he was laughing or smiling. Pence was just nice and the boy didn't care what any one else said about him and for some reason when Pence told Roxas that it raised Roxas' own self esteem. Olette often would yell at him- in a helpful way, and he knew she would make an amazing mom, and the fact that she took her time to yell and in a way discipline Roxas, whether it was for not talking or socializing or not eating, it made him feel loved and cared for. And now that he had been gone for almost an entire year and they still remembered him just made him all the more happy, he waved back, not afraid to show his smile to them.

"They your friends?" Riku asked quietly, a smile on his own face as he saw the smile and happiness in Roxas, "I never actually talked to them, but they were amazing…. We'd probably be friends if we hung out more, or if I never left…" his words didn't make him sad, didn't make him unhappy or regretful, just a simple cold fact. They sat in a peaceful silence as they continued through the city, stopping at a red street light, Roxas looked around again and he knew right where he was, he looked out the window and just like he hoped he found two people, one sweeping the sidewalk and the other standing on the stairs with their arms crossed- relaxing. "Roxas?" the black haired man asked, tipping his head a bit, "Roxas," he said on a happier tone, it was Zack, he was a friend of Clouds but they grew apart, Zack always made it in his schedule to visit Roxas, "We've missed you Roxas, we've been worried, you know our number mind you," Aerith smiled, right before they were about to drive away she began speaking again, "Oh, and Vincent's been worried sick, please call him darling," Roxas was shocked at first but quickly nodded and waved, a blissful smile on his lips. He never knew how many people actually cared about him, he never knew there was so many people that _wanted_ to say hello to him.

After explaining again who the people were Roxas had a small smile remaining on his lips though minutes had passed, Riku pulled him over and let Roxas rest his head on Riku's chest, with the silver boy's arm draped over his shoulder to wrap around his chest. Roxas found himself slipping off into sleep, not like he really _needed_ it but they wasn't much to do and this was on of the first times he could fall asleep feeling so loved. When he woke up he found himself on a bed, "We must of gotten here not that long ago," he concluded in his thoughts, the bed still cold all around him. He stood up and walked out the only door he saw, seeing a Riku moving around the place, as if straightening it up, "Hey sleepy head," Riku said with a small smile on his face, Roxas returned the smile, and sat at the table. "I'm going to go out and get some food okay? I'll be back in maybe an hour, is that okay?" "Yeah, I'll be fine… I'll just explore," he added with a small laugh. Riku nodded and walked over to the sitting child, kissing the top of his head, leaving out the door within a few seconds.

Walking back into the room Roxas decided he would try to help Riku by unpacking his and the other boys clothes, all was going good, he had explored and come to the conclusion that him and Riku would be sharing a bedroom, at least using the dressers in the room, there was two but they were connected to be used like a very high desk- where a tv would go. He found a journal before he could even get to putting the clothes away, it wasn't his, he stared at it for a good long time, debating whether to read it or just put it away, he decided on the latter. Placing it on the top of the dressers he started to put clothes away, there wasn't all that much clothes to fill up the space, he sighed and laid back on the bed, knowing that there was absolutely no one around and no one to control him- it made him peaceful, yet happy, yet energetic. He heard a thump and his heart jumped, sitting up he looked around, noticing right away that the journal was now on the ground, opened up.

Slowly he walked over, sitting on the floor next to the book, he didn't want to invade Riku's privacy but he was curious and Riku knew so much about him but Roxas knew only a little about Riku. "Just a peak," he decided. Reading the words quickly Roxas had to start over when he was halfway down the page, this was about him, Riku was writing about what he thought of the boy.

_Roxas seemed really quiet…figured as much… I like him… I don't know if I love him, but he seemed like he deserves it, he looked so broken after he found out the one he loved passed. Hell, I would be too… He doesn't deserve that… _

The date marked a few days later,

_I want to be with Roxas, I still don't know if I love him but he really deserves to know someone loves him and I can do that- I don't want to see him suffer and I don't want to see him hurt, that's gotta mean I love him, right? _

Roxas skipped the rest on that page, reading a bit further in the book,

_Roxas will never love him like I know he loved Axel… I won't ever matter to him and if he doesn't love me to the level I know he's capable of loving to… I don't think I can continue loving him… I think I want to just stay friends with him but I can't tell him that, how could I reject him? _

Few pages later,

_I'm tired of dealing with this, I'm tired of having to be the bigger person and the strong one- I'm not that much older. _

_I just wish he would stop and go away,_

Roxas couldn't continue reading, even if he wanted to, tears weld in his eyes, Riku thought he was a burden, he closed the book and began to put all the clothes back into the bag like he found them, the journal in the middle back, placing the bag where it was, he moved around and ended up finding a very large- about the size of his hand, and sharp piece of metal. He sat in the bathroom, a pen and paper sitting on the sink shelf as he sat on the toilet lid, he began writing.

_Dear Riku, _

_I'm sorry, I guess… I just can't live like this- with myself I mean… I just I hurt and I hate it and I don't want to bother you with it, you're amazing and nice and you can get anywhere you want in life, you may not have ever cared for me but I'm glad you got away from them. You're smart and one day you're going to find the love of your life and be so happy… happy like I was with Axel… with only Axel… If I can't be with him, or hold him ever again, I don't know if I want to be here. I want to be with him, and it's my damn fathers fault for hurting him. I loved him so much, I still do… I never really told him how much though. I'm sorry if I make a mess- I'm going to try not to… Thank you, so much Riku, for everything, none of this is your fault- just go out there and be free and you'll find happiness. I found mine, but I must not have fought for him enough… I miss him so much… _

_Goodbye, _

_Roxas_

He closes his eyes and began to tear at his wrists.

Riku couldn't help the smile on his face, right in front of him was the fiery redhead that he had heard the blond talk about so much, he couldn't help but hug him, "Um… okay?" Axel responded. "Sorry, Roxas talked about you so much… he's going to be so happy when he finds out his father didn't kill you…" Riku smiled again, "Roxas is safe now, the house is only about twenty minutes away," "Then lets head out! God! Sorry, I don't mean to sound pissed, but I'm just so fucking…thrilled," Axel didn't want to wait another second to hold his blond in his arms, Riku nodded his head and they began walking back the way they came. Riku had called as many people as he knew that might possibly know Roxas, he heard the blond talk about a women named Aqua a few times too and finally he called someone and they knew who Aqua was, with a little persuasion they handed over her number and all that was left was for him to call her.

"Hello?" Aqua answered the phone hesitantly, not knowing the number at all. "Yeah, hello, you don't know me but I'm with Roxas," Riku said quickly, before she could hang up but she stayed quiet, "If you're hurting him-" she began, venom leaking from his phone, "No, no, no…. no! I would never, I called because I'm getting him away, saving him- if you will…" "oh good…" "The thing is… Roxas is really upset about someone…" "Who?" he didn't want to give any names- just to make sure she knew Axel. "Roxas' father attacked him and told Roxas that he left him in an alley way and the person died… Roxas is so torn because of it… " "Axel?" the voice didn't speak it into the phone, but rather as if she was talking to someone next to her, suddenly he heard a deep voice, "Hello, this is Axel," "Seriously?" "Yeah seriously, who else would I be?" it was silent for a few seconds, "Roxas thinks you're dead, his father told Rox that he killed you…"

Axel explained that rather than Sephiroth killing Axel, he had beaten him badly where he would have died but Axel was able to call for help. How? Because Sephiroth broke a blue phone- the only phone he broke, which also happened to be Aqua's that he didn't know he had grabbed, it was a pure accident that he took both phones, but that accident saved his life. He was able to call his cousin Reno- telling him where he was before he passed out, when he came to he was in a hospital, where he spent a good chunk of time- but he was completely healed now- but the main point, he wa still alive! They set a date where Roxas would be safe and they would be able to reunite Axel and Roxas, and that date was now, they walked up the steps of the house Riku had rented for the month, slowly pushing open the door to find the house oddly quiet.

Roxas was tearing at his wrists with the piece of metal, not trying to hide the pain- it let it flow from him in screams and tears till he couldn't make anymore sounds, he had found himself on the ground now, falling off the porcelain throne, blood soaked his hands and the floor, making him slip- unable to catch himself, the piece of metal flew out of his hand, he felt like screaming in just pure anger, he only had a few more minutes before Riku came back and he wanted to make sure that when the man appeared it would be to late to save the blond, he stretched for the metal again and again but couldn't reach it, he heard the door open, and footsteps but everything was fading and humming and pounding, his vision blurred in and out and there was random black spots, he felt light headed beyond belief.

The worst was the pain in his stomach- making him want to puke air, his wrist surprisingly didn't hurt at all but rather felt warm, he heard a knock on the door and stayed quiet, he heard the knock again and again and finally he heard a voice, Riku, "Open the door Rox," "Go away," he mumbled back. Reaching for the knife. He could hear a distant loud noise, the door being kicked open, the sound reverberated through him, he crawled towards the knife, his hand almost touching it till he felt someone pull him back and flip him on to his back. He saw red- he thought it was blood at first, the tears in his eyes blurring his vision, but with more blinks he realized it was Axel, "Axel?" he mumbled, feeling something comforting beckoning him to come closer to the edge, to end his pain, he felt like he was moving towards it even though he was telling his mind not to. "Yeah Roxy, it's me, I'm here, I didn't die, your father didn't kill me, he tried though," Roxas looked over dully, his head falling to the side now, he saw Axel's hands pushing against his wrist and a little above it, trying to act as a tourniquet, but his world continued fading.

"You're not dead?" he mumbled back, it was question and an observation, "I'm not dead, and I'm not going anywhere any time soon… please stay with me Roxas," Axel cried out, the first time he got to see his blond in almost a year and the boy was dying, he finally had the blond in his arms but the boy was slipping further and further away. "I… I don't want to die…" Roxas tried to yell, "I'm sorry… I thought you were dead…" he began to mumble over and over again, "Don't let me die Ax… please," he was crying from pure sadness now, "I don't… I don't… I don't want to be gone… I wanna stay with you," he was sobbing out, "Shhh… shhh… Roxas it's okay, just stay with me, you'll be fine, you have to be, please Roxas, just stay with me…" Axel was crying himself now, tears poured down his face, hearing the blond begging to live, begging to live with him when he knew the chances of the child surviving now where almost zero… Roxas' vision faded to black as he continued to sob and beg to live and to stay with Axel, soon his breathing stopped.

_**One more chapter... **_


	28. Chapter 28: Together Again

Roxas felt like he was floating- his eyes were closed but he knew that there was nothing surrounding him, he tried to think but nothing happened and the comfort that surrounded him seem to just pull him in deeper and deeper but something was screaming and aching in Roxas' heart. Something yelling at him, making him want to scream and cry, but he didn't understand it, it hurt… he wanted to push it away and fall into the comfort but the deeper he sank the more the pain grew, finally he decided he would figure out what this pain was and he would get rid of it. Listening to the silence he tried more and more to focus, soon he could hear mumbling- actually hear it, not just a thought that hinted at sound which would lead his mind to think there was a sound, no- he actually heard something and he clung to it.

Listening more and more he could hear more than one tone, more than one voice, he forced an eye to open, the action causing him to feel like he was being quickly rocked- no, more like thrown around, seeing a glimpse of different hues he heard a pause and then a rush of noise but he was quickly pulled back under. A time that was immeasurable to Roxas passed, he forced his eyes open again, slowly this time, he saw nothing at first, the noise he had been brought to by was gone but he still tried to find it, and with a few attempts he was able to create his own noise, a grumble that was deep in his throat, his head fell to the side to find a figure sleeping awkwardly in a chair with something covering him, Roxas surprisingly wasn't confused- sure he had no idea what was happening but not a thought crossed his mind that anything even was happening at all. The figure in front of him moved, causing Roxas to watch with interest but otherwise not react, he got closer and closer to Roxas his eyes glowing and shinning with something that made Roxas feel warm.

The figure began speaking and talking and Roxas was overly comforted by the voice, the voice offered a comfort that was more blissful than what the darkness offered. Finally the red hair and glowing green eyes brought Roxas even closer to reality, "Axel?" his own voice was nothing more than a breath but it caused the man to pause and soon smile, "Yeah, it's me," the first words Roxas heard, the man continued talking but all Roxas was worried about was hearing the vibrating tone and letting it comfort him back to sleep. Axel slowly began to rub Roxas cheek, helping him to slip back into a sleep that the redhead was now sure he would wake up from.

He awoke twice more, the room dark but the man still beside him, he still didn't feel in his right mind and Axel continued to coo to him till he was sleeping once again. Popping open one eye and soon the other Roxas stared at nothing as the swaying took over him again, he looked around the light room, it felt as if he had only blinked since he had last seen the room, but the light difference told him it had been hours, he let out a groan, his eyes closing in the effort as if to will the noise out, followed by a name, "Axel?" he sat up but everything swayed around him, his body began to fall backwards but the movement was stopped when he felt something else touch his back. After a few seconds he looked up to find Axel holding him, gently letting him lay against the bed, smiling all the while, "Hey Roxy," Roxas didn't understand what was happening, as he laid flat on the bed, a nauseous feeling washing over him, Axel instructed him to take a deep breath in through his nose and out through his mouth, Roxas changed his breathing to do just that and soon the sick feeling washed away.

"How you feeling Roxy?" Axel asked loudly but in a very gentle way, he sat on the bed, holding Roxas' hand in his own two, Roxas blinked a few times before answering, "What happened?" he tipped his head to look around the room, confused about everything now. A frown formed on Axel's face, "What do you remember?" there was a silence for a few minutes while Roxas thought and Axel watched him, "You…" Roxas looked up at Axel with wide eyes, trying to sit up a bit, Axel moved around the bed, "Hold on," he looked and successfully found a control switch with several buttons, pressing one as he watched Roxas' face with caution, not wanting the bed moving into a halfway upright position to hurt the blond. With his back now resting against the half upright bed Roxas continued to stare at Axel, barely even noticing the bed had moved at all, he continued on, "You… You died- you're dead…" Roxas mumbled, his mouth held open a bit in shock and confusion.

Axel's face wore a smirk but it quickly washed off, before he could explain Roxas continued speaking, almost hysterically, "You died, my father killed you- he told me he did… I thought you were gone, you," he became a mumbling fit, maybe if the blond wasn't in complete confusion and almost having a panic attack- Axel might have found it adorable, but Axel himself was panicking trying to figure out how to calm the blond down. "Roxy," he began repeating over and over again, trying to speak over the blond, "Roxy, let me explain it all, okay?" Roxas slowly started to quiet down, waiting for Axel to explain.

Axel began to speak slowly to make sure the blond could comprehend it all, "I was able to use my cell and call for help, I called my cousin Reno and told him where I was, he was able to call an ambulance and get me to a hospital after I passed out… I spent a few weeks in the hospital…" He laughed a bit at the memory, "I was restless, trying to find you- if only to just tell you I was alive, I ended up hitting a lot of the male nurses and for a lot of the time I had to be hooked to the bed so I could heal right," he continued to chuckle, but that quickly stopped when he felt a small fist grab around the front of his shirt and pull him over. The motion unexpected but Axel stood up, not sure what was happening at first but not wanting to put any pressure on the weak blond, his eyes were wide and his breathing still as he tried to figure out what was happening. He was pulled closer to the blond, till Roxas' forehead was pressed against his chest. Watching as the shoulders below him began to shake, the sound of chocked sobs bounced off his chest, "I thought you were dead…" he was able to make out, he tried to slowly pull away, to be able to look at the blond, but the hand that was holding the front of his shirt was holding on for dear life and just pulled him closer.

Wrapping his arms around the shaking blond Axel sat on the bed once again and held the child, looking over to the side to find the child's wrist still laying on the bed, wrapped and covered in bandages, unmoved from the spot the last nurse had placed it. Closing his eyes he focused on holding the blond tighter, enjoying the moment he had been deprived of for so long, he cooed and comforted the child and soon the sobbing subsided and the blond was able to breath a little less heavy, Axel pulled away a few minutes after he felt the blond let go of his shirt, he didn't take his hands off the blond though.

Minutes slipped to a comfortable silence as Roxas thanked everything around him that he still had Axel- the only thing he wanted and the only thing he had left. "Do you know where we are?" Axel finally asked, actually trying to get back to what the nurses and a psychiatrist had instructed him to do when the blond awoke- since they all knew Axel wasn't going to alert a nurse but rather enjoy the awoken blond on his own for a bit. Roxas thought about the answer for a while, looking around the room, the walls were white- a small dry erase board on the wall across the end of the bed, a chair and a wardrobe in the corner and a window against the corner parallel to the bed, but Roxas could hardly see out of it.

"A hospital…" it was more of a hopeful question, he had never really had his own room in a hospital before, he continued to look around till he saw the red head nod, "Yeah, and… do you know why you're here?" there was another pause as Roxas continued to look around the room, when the question sank in he looked down at his extremely warm wrist, not saying anything but Axel still nodded.

"We, Riku and I, planned to surprise you, not like it was planned or anything… Riku wanted to make sure I was the real deal before he got your hopes up… when we got back the house was quiet, you locked yourself in the bathroom and we had to bust down the door… You were on the ground… reaching for the knife- or… piece of metal… trying to grab it…" his voice began to fade out.

A tear rolled down his face, "I thought I was going to lose you… I was so happy because I could finally touch and hold you," his voice broke off, "I tried to get the bleeding to stop as Riku called an ambulance… you passed out and… I thought you were dead," he gulped in air in an attempt to keep his voice smooth, soon he found Roxas' strong hand holding Axel's own. "I'm sorry Ax…" Roxas whispered, he didn't want to accept that he had actually thought of committing suicide, or that he planned to when Axel was still alive, Axel was quiet for a few minutes… "It's in the past… just… can you promise me something?" He looked up at Roxas, tears drying on his cheeks as he found and held Roxas' gaze, "What?" "That you wont ever try to kill yourself again… that if there's a problem you find me and talk to me…" his voice was firm. "Yeah… yeah- I promise." Roxas' own voice was a bit shaky but truthful.

Looking around Axel stood up, "Riku wants to talk to you…" Roxas nodded, "I'll stay in here if you want…" his voice was shaky, but not from fear, Axel noticed that Roxas was still holding onto his own hand. As if on cue Riku walked in, standing at the end of the bed, his hands on the plastic part of the frame, Riku waited for Roxas to give Axel an answer, knowing the redhead had asked one. "I'll be fine…" he mumbled out, "You're not going to leave… are you?" Axel shook his head, taking his hand out of Roxas' he placed his palm against the blonds' cheek and leaned closer, softly pressing his lips against the smaller one's, he pulled away even more slowly, freezing a few inches away, his warm breath ghosting over Roxas' cheek, "Never," he quickly kissed the boys forehead and walked out of the room, giving the silver head a glare that even Roxas could feel.

Roxas sat silently, waiting for Riku to say whatever was on his mind, afraid of what the silver head was thinking, but with a sigh Riku began speaking, "What happened?" his question may have seemed simple but it was the complete opposite to Roxas, said child just tilted his head in question. "You were fine before I left, you acted like everything was okay… and then, and then…" his motioned to Roxas, "This!" Roxas noticed the rings under his eyes and the redness of them, "Just… why?" Roxas thought about that for a long while, thinking of how he wanted to answer, slowly his voice faded in as he brought his knees up and picked at the blanket, "I read your journal… I didn't mean to! Really… I just wanted to help and I put the notebook on the shelf and it fell open and I couldn't stop from reading it… I'm sorry…" Roxas mumbled out, not daring to look at Riku.

Riku sat at the foot of Roxas bed, his hands running through his hair, "And?" somehow Roxas knew what the silver haired wanted, "You said… that, you were tired of dealing with… this… and having to be a bigger person_… _and how you wished…. I would just go away…" he mumbled out, nervous that Riku would yell at him more about it, he heard Riku let out a sigh but he didn't begin talking right away. "Most of that journal was about you…" Roxas felt a pain growing in his heart, "But that wasn't." Riku said firmly. "I wasn't really thinking in that first part- so yes, it was about you, but I was saying that I hated how they singled you out, that I was the same age and if they really cared all that much why didn't they treat me the same…. For going away- that was about them…" Riku wanted to laugh at the misunderstanding but he couldn't.

"You want Axel to come back in?" Roxas nodded but when Riku began to walk away he sat forward, looking up at Riku. While he was embarrassed that he didn't understand the reading right but there was nothing he could do about it and either way- if he had read it right, he probably would have done everything the same. "Are you and Axel okay? I mean, do you get along?" Riku stopped short of the door and let out a small laugh, "You know, I don't really know," he walked out and in walked Axel.

"Are you okay?" "Yeah Ax, I'm fine," "You sure, 'cuz there's someone you have to meet… well, someone I want you to meet." Roxas tipped his head sideways, "Umm… Yeah, okay, they can come in." Axel stood up and called someone in, and in walked a tall- not as tall as Axel, slicked back blond haired man in a suit. "Roxas?" he asked, staying by the door as to not impose on Roxas space, Axel leaned against the back wall, arms folded across his chest- already instructed he could only stay in the room if he didn't talk. Roxas could feel the man staring at him but he couldn't look him in the eye, the man didn't seem threatening but Roxas felt like if he was to look the man in the eye he would be putting his own emotions at risk- it was all just too much of a risk.

"My name is Rufus Shinra," he started, this was how he expected Roxas to act, quiet and nervous, "They asked me to be your… some people may say, therapist." Roxas frowned more at those words, causing the man to let out a soft laugh, "It's really not all that bad, but- do you mind if I sit?" he motioned to the chair and Roxas shook his head, sitting down with a sigh, he relaxed in the chair. "Well… there's a lot to discuss, and your social worker suggested I be the one to tell you." again silence. "When… he died you were turned over to the government, Axel already told us that that was not what your father told you… You were considered kidnapped for the past few months you've been away, Riku already gave a brief input of what happened- all he told me was that it was painful and unfair, not more so please don't ridicule him later… it's for us discuss if you want. You've been placed in foster care, but I personally know the man I know for a fact that he is a very nice and caring person- nothing to be worried about.

"Because you were still considered missing- the reason why you're here, won't result in you going to some sort of ward… people understand that it was a desperate attempt and we wish to make it better, my friend that will be looking after you has made a deal with me that he will take a parenting class and see me once a week and also we were hoping that you would see me at least twice a week… but it's up for debate…You're thinking, I can tell, why don't you tell me what you're thinking about." Rufus sat silently, allowing Roxas as much time as he wanted to answer. A few minutes passed before the blond spoke, looking at Axel for comfort, "Why would he… you're friend… need a class- or… to see you…?" his voice was quiet, he didn't understand what was wrong with him to make him act like this in front of a new person.

"Well, Leon- that's his name, has always wanted a child to raise- but was always to afraid to confirm it all legally… You're story, from the day your-… previous, foster father died, to right now was written about in the paper…" Roxas looked over at him with worry, "Nothing to detailed, just that you had been found and they were all hoping for the best- hoping you turned out okay…" Roxas let out a small sigh, "I recommended Leon ask to take you in, you are already practically an adult- so you don't need someone to baby you, but Leon has a lot of attention to give and he hasn't had a perfect life either…" they sat in silence for a little, he could tell Roxas still felt strange around him.

"Don't worry Roxas, nothing bad like that should ever happen again- everything right now is just new, not bad- it'll all just take getting use to. Well, I best be off, I hope to see you soon and I hope we can have more of an enthusiastic dialogue." he let out a laugh and bowed a good bye before walking out the door.

Watching from his post against the wall Axel wondered what the thinking blond was dreaming about. "Hey Axel, do you know… Leon?… have you met him yet?" Axel continued to watch, "Yeah, and it's actually all really great." Roxas looked up at him in confusion. "We had a small meeting, real small, but he said he was fine with me coming over and all that, he seems pretty chill, he did have one rule though," "Really, what?" "I can sleep over all I want- but no sex," Axel let out a laugh as Roxas turned beet red, he walked over to the bed and sat down next to Roxas, once the natural emotion of embarrassment wore off Roxas was left feeling nervous. "Are you okay being with me?" Axel seemed shocked by the blonds question, "Of course! I searched all over for you, trying to find you and bring you back to me and give you a happy life, why wouldn't I be?"

"Because… just… I don't know if I can deal with any of that- or ever _be_ normal… what if I can't handle everything… I don't want you to be unhappy just because of me," Roxas was cut off when he found lips pressed into his own, in the most simple and caring kiss Roxas had ever felt and the kiss continued until Roxas couldn't think straight and his surprised eyes closed. Axel's hands rested on his cheeks and slowly the redhead pulled away, sharing Roxas' breathing space, "It's okay, Roxy… We'll handle it all, and take it day be day."

_**The End. **_

_**Thoughts? Should I make a sequel- did you like this story- how it turned out? Yes, No, Maybe So- hopefully I'll know cuz someone will tell me. But any who, I'm going to spend some time going back and fixing all the grammar problems and such, because I know there's tones, but this is the last chapter and the end of the story (possibly for now). **_


	29. Chapter 29: NOTE

Hello :3

So after much consideration (not), I've decided to make a sequel (obviously xD) I don't really have all that much free time right now- so if you're reading any of my other continuing stories sorry for not updating them in a few days. Um… Anyway, the new story I will most likely not start soon… not until next year- which sounds awful till it comes to realization that's only about a month at least- BUT! I really want to work on 'I Tried So Hard'- which is another AxelxRoxas story and get that going and stuff and finish 'One Day'- yet another Axel and Roxas story. And just for the hell of it check out my other story that's completed (for the moment) called 'Don't Run,' if you liked it- this is a little irrelevant to the purpose of this note but- I keep getting PM's about adding to it and making it longer and stuff so I most likely will.

Also! Check out my profile for a bunch of stories I plan on writing- they each have the name and a summary, and there is A LOT!…

Back to the purpose of this whole document- I don't want to spoil too much about what the sequel is going to be about so I'll just write some form of summary herez. (It'll continue in third person)

**Roxas lives with his new foster father with Axel always close by, seeing a shrink every week, life is starting to go to what a normal almost 17 year old boy is supposed to live. But Roxas isn't normal and if he was okay before- he's far from it now. Dealing with the damage done from his captors- Roxas is still trying to handle his previous addiction which only gets worse when S****aïx**comes back around, his father is still looking for him- with Who knows what planned for the blond, and to add to it all- Roxas thinks he found his mother, will he let her out of his life again or confront her and ask the question that's been tearing him apart since before he could remember: "Did she even ever love me?" The only thing making it bearable is the energetic redhead, but he seems to be dealing with problems of his own.

Dun-dun-dunnnnnn...**  
**So yeah. I feel like I gave away more than I intended to but have at it :3


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